Man About The House
by Maribor
Summary: A series of vignettes examining how the Doctor, Rory and Amy prepare for the arrival of the new baby. (Crap summary I realize. As the story crystalizes further in my mind I'll change it.) SEQUEL to: "Come And Knock On Our Door" Start there first if you haven't because otherwise this won't make much sense.
1. Physiology

**_A/N: Hi guys, so the concept I'm going with now is something I mentioned in the original story. The idea that the Doctor would leave records for their child, Time Lord basics that he would want him or her to know in the event of his death. My intent now is to separate each group of chapters into a certain theme, interspersed with the Doctor's messages and have the stories play out from there. Don't worry, he's not dead, these are being recorded by him in "real time". At this point I think it will just be little slices of life, kinda linear and I'm not sure how smutty. But rest assured there will be some sex. Oh and it never even occurred to me you guys would think from the teaser the Doctor is pregnant. LOL! He's not. This is not turning into an MPreg, I swear. So, once again the Doctor is neither pregnant nor dead. There's a sentence I never imagined myself writing..._**

**_Oh and "Man About The House" is the title of the britcom that "Three's Company" was based on. Get it? _**

* * *

**Man About The House**

**_An unexpected sequel to "Come And Knock On Our Door"_**

_Hello my little love,_

_It's me, one of your Dads. Though I suppose if you're watching you probably have a pretty good idea of who I, in fact, am. Off to a rubbish start aren't I? I'm much better at leaving immediate, desperate sort of messages, ones about imminent attacks and Weeping Angels and not blinking and Chameleon Arches. This isn't going to be anything like that._

_I'm very happy you're here, love. Well, you're not actually here yet. I mean, you exist, but for now you're safely inside your mothers womb, a complicated group of cells replicating and dividing over and over again. DNA strands writing themselves. Important things like blood type and eye color and dominant hand are being decided. In that respect a human and a non-loomed Gallifreyan aren't so different. Except, my dear, that you're not simply human. Your Mum and your Dad, they're human, two of the best humans I've ever known. But I'm a Time Lord which means you are also part Time Lord._

_You're going to be different, dear. And right now, I'm not sure just how different. You are entirely new! Never been anything like you before, Human plus Human plus Time Lord. So you are going to be special and unique and amazing and I cannot wait to meet you._

_I decided to make these recordings to tell you a lot of things that only I can. Things about your heritage and your people. Things about me. These are for 'just in case' purposes. I have a lot of just in case things lying here about in the TARDIS but this is the the most important. My life is...complicated. One of the things that remains an ever present is the fact that... I might not always be around. But that's why you've got a bang up situation because if something were to say, happen to me, you've still got your Mum and Daddy-Rory. I'm not sure how I feel about the title Daddy-Rory, I suppose that would make me Daddy-Doctor. That's got kind of an odd feel to it doesn't it? Doesn't really roll off one's tongue. I suppose if we're on Earth I might just be Daddy-John? Or maybe we'll just let you decide what you want to call us, how's that?_

_What were we talking about? Oh, yes, my possible death! Wait, no...that's not how I wanted to phrase this...but honestly that is what we're talking about. There's a possibility that I might die before I get to tell you, in person, all the things you need to know. That would leave you adrift and in some respects that are uniquely Gallifreyan, all alone. I know how that feels, to be alone. I know the weight of it and I don't want that for you. I couldn't bear for that to happen. So let me try and answer as many things about my species, our species as I can._

_First things first, I love you. I've been told I don't always say that enough and I've left far too many people wondering, so why not clear it up right off the bat. Currently we're about five weeks in and you're no bigger than a kidney bean inside your Mum. She hasn't even started to show yet but I scan her, everyday just to check on you both and to make sure all is well. Each day I become a little more enamored and a little more intrigued with what you're to become. Even though I don't know you yet, the TARDIS does and she says you're an absolute delight. Yeah, she's met you and everything. We won't have that privilege for another ten or so months. I will be able to hear you in there though. You see, part of being a Time Lord means you're born with a natural telepathic ability. Every so often I'll be able to get little glimpses of what you're thinking or what passes for thought at this stage. I speak baby and I also speak fetus. I speak everything. Even that's a ways off and I have a sneaking suspicion your Mum might interpret that as an unfair advantage on my part. The three of us will probably have to work that out at some point._

_Now, I'm unlikely to ever be invited to Career Day at your school, I think Daddy-Rory might be a better choice for that, much more respectable, much easier to explain. In any case, what I do, where my travels often take me can be dangerous. I suppose if you're seeing this something has happened to me. It must have been something quite bad to have prevented regeneration. For that, I'm sorry. I am so very, very sorry. My intent was to be with you forever. All of you. I love your Mum and Dad and you more than anything in this universe. I can guarantee that no matter where I was, my last thoughts were of the three of you, my family._

_Not very cheery am I? Sorry about that. This isn't supposed to be about depressing you. This is about telling you how great you are and all the wonderful things you have ahead of you. You are going to live an amazing and fantastic life whether it's on earth or whether you walk among the stars. I know this for a fact because I am exceedingly clever and I'd wager you're going to be remarkably clever too._

_You are going to be loved more completely than anyone has ever been loved. Honestly, I hope you never have to see this, any of it. But I hope you'll bear with your old Dad. Give me your ear even when I start rambling on. I want to show you everything this universe has to offer. It is vast and impossible and wild and amazing and filled with such breathtaking beauty and I want to be there with Amy and Rory to watch you take it all in. I hope that will be possible, but I would be remiss to not plan for the opposite. Even I'm not that careless. Well, not anymore._

_Ok, let's get started. Like I said, you are very busy at the moment getting prepared to grow fingers and toes and a brain stem and readying to absorb your vestigial tail which is a very smart thing you humans do because who needs a tail nowadays anyway? I take that back, I'd love a tail now that I think about it. But here are some of the differences which I think I can predict. Alright, basic physiology..._

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**_A/N: The full credit for the artwork for this story goes again to OddTheSunGod who runs/ran a very remarkable tumblr filled with fantastic artwork. She graciously allowed me to use her art for another of my stories "The Power Of Threesome"(and I mistakenly referred to her as a he in my intro for that work, something I need to change when I re-upload it). I hope she doesn't mind me using this image but if she does I'll take it down and find something else. But she hasn't been on tumblr in awhile now so I haven't had an opportunity to ask._**

**_So, that's what I got so far...reviews?_**


	2. Physiology: Rory

**Physiology: Rory**

"Doctor, this reads like stereo instructions." I said with exasperation. I'd been flipping through Volume One of Six of a compendium of Time Lord Anatomy for the past hour and I was fairly sure I had actually had knowledge removed from my brain rather than added.

Both he and Amy hated when I read in bed so I'd crept off to the library to get in a little more studying before turning in. I liked the TARDIS library, it was classic, old fashioned, filled with row upon row and shelf upon shelf of just about every text you could imagine or conceive of. It smelled like books, dusty, pulpy, delightful. I'd spent a lot of time here my first few weeks abroad. Not knowing it was impossible I'd told Amy I wanted to get acquainted with every room but had ended up stopping right here. I loved to read, I loved to learn and most of all I loved a good story. This reading was, however, as far from recreational as one could get and it was wearing on me.

"How did you even know I was here?" He asked with confusion. I turned to see that he was just where I'd figured. Hovering in the doorway, leaning against the frame watching me.

"My ears may not be plastic anymore but they've always worked well. I heard you. Plus I assume I got rather wrapped up in all this and lost track of time. How many hours has it been? Two?"

"Four, actually." He said approaching me. He came up behind my chair and put strong hands on my shoulders, fingers immediately starting to work out the kinks and tension. "You're very tight." he said softly.

I couldn't help but quirk a smile.

"Thanks."

"Cheeky." Leaning forward he kissed my ear while tipping the cover of the book to view the title. "An Integrated Approach To The Principles Of Gallifreyan Physiological And Anatomical Studies. Ah, a little light reading I see."

"Exactly. Did Amy send you to fetch me?" I said putting my hand over one of his and giving it squeeze. He smelled good, his touch was comforting and I never realized how much I missed his presence until I hadn't hadn't been graced with it for a long while.

"No, actually. She's out like a light. I tried to sleep but to no avail. Popped off to the pool for a swim and a soak. Just trying to...nevermind."

I furrowed my brow and directed him to sit down next to me. The heavy oak chair scraped against the floor as he pulled it out and flopped down. I in turn angled my chair to face him.

"Just trying to what?" I patted my lap and he almost immediately and grateful lifted his legs to rest across my thighs. He was barefoot and I began rubbing his heels and soles with my thumbs.

"Hmm? Nothing, doesn't matter."

Curling a finger I gave him a bit of a goose on his arch and he jumped.

"Rory." he warningly but I held his ankles so he couldn't jerk them from me. "Do _not _ tickle me."

"Then tell me the truth. Because if you don't, I'm going to make you squeal."

"Normally a tempting threat but you know how ticklish I am."

"You're wasting time." I said and ran another soft finger over his arch and heel. He curled his toes and started laughing all the while trying to kick himself away. I held him fast and moved easily to the other foot. "Once again, just trying to what?"

His face had gone red by this point and I was laughing right along with him.

"I hate you." he said trying to gasp for breath.

"No, you don't." I said. Quickly I let go of his feet and grabbing the frame of his chair pulled it forward. His body now closer I put two hands to his waist and yanked him to me. "Tell me."

"Kiss me." He challenged meeting my eyes.

I obliged gladly and put my hand on the back of his head holding him to me as I threaded my fingers through his hair. I'm not certain what kind of kiss he was expecting but I found myself unwilling to break the snog even for air. The Doctor pulled away just to catch his breath and when he tried to move towards my lips again I put a finger to his.

"Alright." He sighed knowing he was beaten. "I was feeling rather sore. I thought maybe a swim would loosen some of these tense muscles. Then I tried the whirlpool, then I tried the sauna."

"None of them helped?"

"I feel ridiculous whinging about effectively being tired." He said avoiding my eyes.

"Well if you can't whinge with me or Amy, who then? Though you probably shouldn't complain to her. I said something yesterday about having a hair in my eye and she shot daggers at me and said try gestation a human/alien hybrid. And when I say she shot daggers I'm not being metaphorical, she actually picked up a letter opener and hurled it at me."

That had the desired response as I watched the Doctor chuckle. The momentary, fevered passion gone he again leaned back in his chair.

"Come on, feet back up here." I coaxed. "I swear no more tickling."

He looked at me warily but eventually I was massaging him again.

"This is however exactly the thing I'm getting at, Doctor. I know so little bit about how your body works."

"There's a sex joke in there if anyone would like to pick it off."

"You know what I mean. For instance, you have two livers?"

"A little higher, dear. Mmm, that's it. Yes...um...two livers. It's why I can consume things you can't, strange fruit we encounter on other planets. Drinks. Radiation. I'm excellent at detoxifying. I'm a walking detoxification center. Also, helps with my metabolism, it's why I'm the awesome, lean specimen you see before you. Never been a pudgy Doctor. Alright Seven was perhaps a bit soft but I was under a lot of stress. Looking after Ace was not easy."

The Doctor had again closed his eyes and was leaning back in the chair.

"You also have two spleens?"

"Yes, does the same thing your spleens does except better and twice as efficiently. Did you know that the ancient Greeks thought of the spleen the way your contemporary humans think of the heart. To be called good-spleened was quite a compliment. It really mean you were an alright bloke."

I rolled my eyes and continued working on his feet.

"Yes, Doctor, in Rome we did occasionally get news from Greece."

"Of course. Sorry, love, sometimes I forget."

"As best I can figure it seems you have four of everything you're supposed to have two of and two of everything else."

"Yes, Rory, I'm an absolute marvel." He said dismissively. "You know your daughter is the same way. Well not exactly the same. Two hearts, obviously and several other organs are doubled." The Doctor opened his eyes and looked at me. "Why the sudden interest?"

"Not sudden at all." I admitted. "I've been reading these books since I first came aboard."

He looked as though he were sure he'd misheard me.

"You have?" The Doctor asked incredulously.

"Yeah, been through all six volumes. Doesn't mean it now makes total sense to me or anything."

"Why?" He asked softly.

"Well because you're alien. I mean really properly alien. Half the things I learned in school apply to you the other not so much. Travelling with you, knowing you're going to be in harms way, well to know nothing about your body would be unacceptable to me."

"No." He said taking his feet off my lap and leaning forward. "Why were you reading these?"

"Because someone needed to take care of you. What if you had gotten sick or hurt? As the only medical professional on board, Doctor, you're my responsibility. I want you to be ok, you twonk, why do you think? I stumbled in here one day and it was like I was just directed to what I wanted."

I looked at the Doctor. His eyes had gone a little misty and I watched him swallow.

"You wanted t-to...to look after me, even then?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said. Now we were both leaning forward and I put a hand on his knee and squeezed. "Of course I did. Now even more so."

"You came looking for books so you could...not even Martha-."

He cut himself off the way he often did when mentioning people who I assumed were other companions, possibly those he'd lost. He ran a hand roughly over his face, screwing his eyes shut.

"Thank you." he said and I saw that I had, quite by accident, truly touched him.

"You're welcome. But now, we've got someone else to consider. Two someones actually. I just want to make sure I'm prepared for any eventuality with the baby and also with Amy's pregnancy."

"There's no way to be prepared for _any _ eventuality, Rory."

"We can but try." I answered him.

"Quite right, and don't forget I do know a bit about my own biology." The Doctor said with a wink.

"Do you anticipate any complications for Amy?" I asked flipping through the volume in front of me before casting it aside and looking for the one that specifically mentioned pregnancy.

"None at all. She'll experience much the same symptoms as a normal, human pregnancy. She'll mostly likely have to be confined to bed for the last month or so. She's going to rage about that one. I should warn you though the more primal urges tend to get a bit..dodgy."

"Define dodgy. Her appetite?"

"It's a good thing we have several full kitchens."

"Her sex drive?"

"Off the charts. Be thankful there's two of us and even with that we still may need a reserve. Hey, I wonder what Good-Looking-Jeff is doing." He teased.

"Oh do you?" I said giving him a playful shove. "Well a little insider info, Good-Looking-Jeff isn't working with much in other departments. You might be disappointed."

"How would you know?" He asked and I saw that proprietary nature flare in his eyes for just a moment.

"Jealous?" I asked nonchalantly

"Don't be ridiculous." He huffed. "But...how do you know?"

"We grew up together. I saw him in the locker room everyday for years before P.E. But, back to the sex drive."

"Mmm. First wife kept leaving claw marks on my back. Never made it to appointments on time because she'd leap on me before I got halfway out the door." He said with a grin that I returned. I was glad it wasn't always painful for him to remember. He'd been doing that a lot more lately since the night we conceived, letting little pieces of information of his early life slip out to us. Amy and I of course devoured the morsels like children with candy.

"I think I'm going to really look forward to that."I said honestly. "Anything else?"

"Things will come up, best to be surprised, it's more fun that way. Oh, but she may have some rather vivid dreams. Not for a few months now but if her thoughts turn dark we may all be in for a strange trip."

"Well we can comfort her after a nightmare, of course."

"Yes, but, given our connection to one another, the telepathy might draw us into her dream. From there things can get rather strange. Did you read the section on Maternal Gestational Nightmare Syndrome? "

"No." I said hastily flipping through the book trying to find that section. The Doctor carefully pulled the book away from me and closed it.

"Good. Don't." He said with a smile. "Now, what about you? How have you been handling everything?"

I sighed as I thought back over the past few weeks.

"Fine, I suppose. Well..."

"Well?" The Doctor prompted.

"I felt fine for the first couple of days and then it was like, Wham!"

"Could you be a little more specific?"

"I'd wake up and my heart would be racing. I'd need to know where Amy was, if she was ok. I'd find myself totally distracted by her, any little movement she made all of a sudden had me concerned. I thought I saw her clutching her abdomen the other day."

"Was she?" The doctor asked, concern springing to his features.

"No, she had an itch. That's all, just an itch but it sent me into low level panic. I keep thinking I hear things like rustling or voices, you know her calling me, you calling me. There are times I've switched the water off in the bathroom, toothbrush in hand, head cocked to the side just listening. And you talk about nightmares. Honestly, Doctor I'm starting to feel a little crazy."

The Doctor smiled at me as he rose from his chair. Gathering the book from the table in his arms he began to put them away.

"You're not crazy, love. Shall I pull down a book of your own physiology?"

"I'm not crazy?" I said rising to follow him.

"Not at all. You're simply responding the way years of instinct and evolution have told you to respond. Your brain is pumping your body full of cortisol the stress hormone."

I nodded. "That's the one that trigger Fight-or-Flight."

"Exactly. It's just telling you to wake up, listen, be aware, keep an eye on your mates in case there's danger afoot. You know, should a rogue Silurian break into your cave an abscond with someone you love."

I'd cornered him in the stacks and as he was reaching above him to replace the last book I put both hands on his chest, smoothing them downwards until they reached his stomach.

"I love it when you get all primitive." He growled. "Going to defend Amy and I from a charging wooly mammoth?"

"Thank you for making me feel better, Doctor." I said against his neck and I let my hand trail down to his crotch. "May I make you feel better now?"

"Trying to give me a lesson in physiology?" he said and I could hear the grin in his voice.

"Mmm more like cross species mating rituals."

I kissed the column of his neck and felt his head flop back as he enjoyed the sensation. I started to make quick work of his trousers but he put his palm over mine to stop me.

"Rory, would you be terribly cross if I said I may have started something here that I don't have the stamina to finish?"

I frowned and grew still.

"Of course I wouldn't be cross. But are you sure, some parts of you seem more eager than others."

He turned in my arms and gave me a quick kiss.

"I'm just absolutely knackered, love. Could we just go to bed. I'd like to lie between you and Amy tonight."

"Yeah, yeah of course. I hope you didn't think I was pushing you because-"

"I hope you don't think I'm turning you down because it's really just-"

"No, I didn't think that at all." We both said at the same time.

I slipped my arm around his waist as we emerged from the stacks.

"Bed sounds lovely, actually." As we left the library and set out towards our room the TARDIS dimmed the lights behind us. "You sure you're ok?"

"Fine, my love." He said resting his head on my shoulder. "Just fine."


	3. Physiology: Amy

**Physiology: Amy**

You never quite want to stop proving yourself to the Doctor, and that can make you do stupid things. Maybe even slightly dangerous things. And it doesn't matter whether you're his best mate or his wife. Still, somehow you find yourself getting addicted to that look in his eye, that subtle little gleam that says I'm proud of you. Well done.

River...Melody, my daughter, broke her own wrist just so she didn't have to disappoint him. Just so he didn't have to see the cost of admission, the price we sometimes pay.

_Never let him see the damage._

And don't get me started on the Daddy issues. It's not as if I really see him that way, as a _Dad_. Not at all. But still, I recall feeling that childlike embarrassment, that shame at having to tell him I quit another job.

_I gave it up._

_You gave the last one up!_

Right again, Doctor. Your wife is a fuck up, sometimes. A colossal one.

But nothing compared to telling him about my almost divorce. On top of missing Rory terribly, I had to worry about what the Doctor would think of me next time he came round. And when I saw it, that disappointment in his eyes I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. Sure, I put on a brave face.

_It's life, Raggedy Man. You know, that thing that happens when you're not around._

But I was dying inside because I had let him down. I had let down the two most important men in my life. Not to mention having let down myself. I was honestly surprised either of them wanted much to do with me after that. And I made myself a promise, Amelia Pond would never disappoint her boys again.

Ever.

And that's why I was in the loo trying to puke my guts out as silently as I could.

Ok, that probably seems like a strange leap but it really does all make sense. I'm seven weeks pregnant which is still an absolutely thrilling concept.

Seven weeks.

Nearly two months.

Forty nine whole days.

I really didn't want the Doctor or Rory giving me my prenatal checkup. Could we save some mystery until I'm trapped in the stirrups when all is revealed as I give birth? Two weeks ago they reluctantly agreed and we wound up making a trip to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism for my full work up. Pelvic, blood test, urine test, Pap test, STD test, Allergen test, and literally about a hundred others. A detailed medical history from both of us with the Doctor simply handing over a data chip.

"Over a thousand years of information. It just saves time this way." He said with a wink and a smile.

"Doctor, I thought we were supposed to keep the parentage a secret." I whispered to him. "Now it's all on file."

"Oh, no worries. There's no paper trail. Our nurse here is a Malmooth android, aren't you ThanRo?"

The woman with the blue-green skin and mandibles on either side of her mouth smiled as she spoke.

"_Than_-That is correct-_Ro_."

"Any information we give her will be kept in the strictest confidence on her mainframe."

"_Than_-It cannot be removed. Not even forcibly-_Ro_"

"Oh," I said with some relief. "That's good. So, how am I?"

"_Than_-You are in perfect health-_Ro_. _Than_-Both mother and child progressing normally-_Ro_."

"Is there anything we should be on the lookout for? Any possible complications?" Rory asked.

Rory was always asking about complications. He was also, lately peeking around corners and saying, "Did you just call me?" Even though I rarely had. I had asked the Doctor if maybe he was losing it but he said not to worry, it would settle down in a few weeks or so.

"_Than_-There is always a risk of complications. But at the moment I see no cause to worry-_Ro_."

Both boys sighed with relief. I felt better as well but it had been the news I was expecting. i think out of the three of us, I was the most calm.

"_Than_-I would like you to get your weight up-_Ro_." She added.

"We'll see to that." Rory insisted.

"_Than_-How are you doing symptom wise-_Ro_?"

"Umm, pretty normal." Which at that point I was. "To be honest I don't feel very diferent at all."

"_Than_-Your husband was kind enough to provide some rather detailed medical texts for comparison purposes. From my reading I can see that morning sickness for Time Lord pregnancies can be formidable-_Ro_. "

"How formidable?" I asked nervously.

"_Than_-Your child will begin producing a type of necessary bacteria that is alien to your own but completely necessary-_Ro_. _Than_-This should occur around the same time as the morning sickness begins, making for a, not to mince words, thoroughly unpleasant experience-_Ro_. _Than_-One of the things to be on the watch for is will be a slight blue hue on the palms of your hands-_Ro_. _Than_-It will only look like cyanosis but it's just a signal of the bacterial growth. This may be accompanied by dizziness, confuion, sweating all in conjuction with nausea and vomiting-_Ro_. _Than_-You will be able to adjust to it over time-_Ro_."

"She won't have to adjust." The Doctor said at the same time I answered. "I can grit it out."

The Doctor looked at me.

"You won't be "gritting anything out.""

"If a Time Lady could handle it, so can I." I responded.

"Don't be ridiculous." He said with a wave of his hand and I felt stung. So I was right, he didn't think I could do it.

"_Than_-There's something I want you to remember, Amy-_Ro_. _Than_-Physically, biologically, this fetus is, for lack of a better word, demanding-_Ro_. _Than_-It assumes that it is growing inside of a Time Lord female and it will tax your system as such-_Ro_."

"What does that mean?" Rory asked as he took my hand and held it between his two.

"_Than_-It means Amy will find herself more fatigued more often, physical changes to her body may occur at a pace abnormal to humans-_Ro_. _Than_-Food cravings and aversions may be surprisingly strong-_Ro_. _Than_-You may feel pain more acutely and emotions in general may be stronger and more rapidly changing-_Ro_."

"Sounds like fun." I said with dry stoicism and the Doctor put a reassuring hand on my back.

"I have plenty of things on board to mend that, love. I can't make it a symptomless pregnancy but it won't be that bad. I'll see to it. I swear, just tell me when it's starting affect you. Promise?"

"Promise." I said reluctantly, knowing even then I intended to do no such thing.

"_Than_- It also means that the fetus will try to survive no matter what-_Ro_. _Than_-So you must take care of yourself to the best of you ability. Perhaps better than you've ever cared for yourself before Ro. Than-Eat, sleep, rest, exercise-_Ro_. _Than_-You must keep pace with the baby or run the risk of it draining you-_Ro_."

"But the baby will be alright? If I were to get sick or hurt, I'm on the front lines, right? Not the baby?"

ThanRo smiled kindly at me.

"_Than_-You're referring to your previous miscarriages-_Ro_. _Than_-I have rarely stood on ground firm enough to say this sentence-_Ro_." She began, glancing at the Doctor. "_Than_-But unless I'm mistaken it is as it was before the Curse of Pythia-_Ro_. _Than_-Gallifreyan fetuses do not miscarry-_Ro_."

"Correct." The Doctor said quietly.

"How could anyone guarantee that?" Rory said skeptically but the Doctor hushed him.

"Later." Was all he said.

" _Than_-Not just yet, but soon, your child will be your physical superior-_Ro_. _Than_-So to answer your question, Amy, you will, in that respect, always be on the front lines-_Ro_."

"Alright." Rory said clearly growing uncomfortable with the implications. "No one is on the front lines because no one is at war. We are going to take care of both of you and both will come out of this absolutely fine. Right, Doctor?"

"Right. Amy, do you have any other questions you'd like to ask? If there are any you'd like to pose in private? if so Rory and I will step outside."

"No, I'm good. I'm fine, I'm ready to leave if I'm cleared to go."

"_Than_-Please make sure to schedule a follow up and then you may leave whenever you wish-_Ro_."

So that was that. I got out of my little paper gown, we went back to the TARDIS and we were on our way.

Then week six hit. Week. Six.

It started out pretty normal. I woke up, swung my feet over the edge of the bed and was smacked with a wave of nausea that would have felled a clydesdale. I rushed to the loo and barely made it before hitting the floor with my knees. It was bad. Like really bad. Kind of like that time I had norovirus-bad but worse. And I was just a bad vomiter in general. Hearing other people doing, hearing them talking about it, catching a whiff of it were all enough to set me off. And actually doing it myself was enough to trap me in a very, very gross cycle.

I worried that it was loud and the last thing I wanted to do was wake them up. Not because I thought they were princes who needed their beauty sleep. Hardly. I'm not nor have I ever been that kind of wife. They're going to pull their fair share. They're going to deal with my mood swings. They're going to hear me complain about my ankles and sore nipples and constant peeing and they're gonna like it. But this wasn't about them, this was about me and good natured complaining was a _far _ cry from not being able to pull on my big girl knickers and deal. I wanted to be able to handle this on my own.

"Sexy, could you..." Was all I managed to get out before round two, but the TARDIS seemed to understand either way. I'd wanted her to maybe dampen the noise coming from the bathroom so they wouldn't hear it and dim the lights for me a little. Was it always so bright in here? It just kept going and going until I was sweaty and exhausted and clutching at porcelain. At least there was no confusion. I knew precisely who and where I was and I knew exactly what I was doing. Finally I felt well enough to get to my feet. After a brush, swish and face scrub I was ready to return to bed. Once it was over it was a lot easier to poo-poo it. It hadn't been that bad. I noticed my palms looked ever so slightly blue, like I'd dyed them weeks ago and it was finally beginning to fade. But again, that was no big deal. It was fine, I'd just been unprepared that was all. Now that I knew it was coming, I could be ready.

That was the first day, things kind of went downhill from there. I understandably didn't have much of an appetite. My Smurf hands flared and ebbed, luckily remaining flesh toned int eh presence of my husbands. I was constantly running off, only admitting that it was morning sickness one out of every five times. The rest of the time I just claimed I had to pee. I'd started off in pretty good health and after waiting awhile, again having a brush, a swish of some Listerine and maybe a quick shower I was usually ready to rejoin them looking pretty fresh. But it was taking its toll. I'd gotten the Doctor to ease off of his detailed morning scans, I told him I felt like a cow at the market and he relented grudgingly to just the most basic of readings for now.

It's strange, but in a way I thought I was doing what my daughter would have done. Never let him see the damage. Never let him see. Long before I knew who River was, when we first met her at the crash of the Byzantium I admired her. She was strong and capable and lovely. She was everything I wanted to be and she had the Doctor in the palm of her hand. And on top of that, he respected her. He knew he didn't have to worry about her. She was fearless.

And that's how I was consoling myself now as I dabbed at my face and stared at myself in the mirror. This was my time to be fearless and strong.

It wasn't permanent, I kept reminding myself. ThanRo said it wasn't fatal or harmful just extremely unpleasant. If I'd thought for a second I was putting our child in danger I would have told the Doctor immediately but apparently the little trooper could hold his own. Everyone on the TARDIS could hold their own. Me included. I just had to get through it and not break. I added a little makeup under my eyes to correct some of the dark circles, took another swig of mouthwash and opened the bathroom door. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I saw the Doctor and Rory standing there waiting for me.

"You both scared me!" I said forcing a smile which I noted neither of them returned.

The Doctor flipped out his screwdriver and took some sort of reading.

"You've lost a third of a stone. You're dehydrated. Some of the capillaries in your eyes have ruptured. Your skin is wan. You-"

"Alright, I get it, I don't look my best." I said laughing nervously. They were blocking my egress from the bathroom so in an effort to look casual I turned briefly to the mirror and ran a hand through my hair.

"Did you think we wouldn't notice?" Rory asked.

Not the reaction I had expected. I was hoping more for streamers and a banner that said, For She's A Jolly Good Fellow.

"Notice what? That I've been a little nauseous? Kind of goes with the territory." I said lightly patting my belly.

The Doctor's eyes bored into me and quite in spite of myself I clamped my mouth shut and swallowed.

"We gave you plenty of time to tell us. You didn't."

My temper quite unexpectedly flared.

""Plenty of time? It's been a handful of days. I wasn't going to come crying to you over a little morning sickness."

"It's a bit more than morning sickness. Sudden onset dizziness, headaches, muscle weakness, cyclical vomiting and..." he said reaching for my wrist and turning my palms up. "Your hands are blue."

"So they are. It comes and goes. ThanRo said that would happen, what of it?'

"What of it?" Rory gawped as he repeated my words.

I folded my arms in front of me feeling angry and cornered, all that post-puke adrenaline probably wasn't helping.

"Well if you were so worried why didn't you say something?" I countered.

"Are you trying to turn this around on us?" Rory asked.

"Turn it around on you? Are the two of you a team? Are we picking sides? I don't like being ganged up on."

"Yes, I suppose it was our fault." The Doctor said evenly and quickly. That was his dangerous voice. His I'm-nearing-the-end-of-my-rope voice. "The fault of your husbands for trusting you. We knew you were sick but we didn't know quite how bad it was until yesterday."

"How?"

"The TARDIS told me. She got concerned. She grew dubious of covering for you by muffling the sounds."

I was growing more irritated by the second.

"Can I pass by now?"

"So long as we can finish this conversation." Rory said.

"Don't tell me what to do, Rory." I said through a clenched jaw as I edged my way by them stalking into our bedroom with both my husbands close behind. I hadn't expected to feel so angry. This must be those rapidly changing emotions ThanRo had warned us about.

"You're acting like a child, Amelia." The Doctor said quietly. "Martyrdom doesn't suit you."

Now that hurt. That really properly hurt especially considering I was going for precisely the opposite reaction.

I spun on my heel to look at them both.

"Damn you, Doctor. I wasn't trying to be a martyr, I was trying to be strong. I was trying to be like River."

He looked perplexed, some of the anger leaving his face.

"What are you talking about?"

"You trust her, you respect her. You never worry about her. She could do this. She could do this standing on her head and she might complain but she would never ask for your help. She would never have you worry. She would never say she couldn't handle it. She would never let you see the damage."

The Doctor's mouth worked in exasperation for a few seconds before any words finally came out.

"And I cannot _stand _ that about her!" He practically shouted. "I worry about her constantly. Never let him see the damage. It was stupid when she said it and it's still stupid. i will not be treated as though I were some mercurial child not only incapable of understanding the fagility of the people around me by comparison but of also somehow blaming them for it. I find that idea deeply offensive."

Rory said nothing . We were all in rather adversarial positions on either side of the room, the boys had their spot and I had mine. But my resolve was weakening Listening to the argument from his side was all together new and I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Not to mention, what did I tell you, Amy?" he continued. "On our very first trip anywhere?"

I thought back to Starship UK and the Starwhale wracking my brain to recall what he meant. It didn't matter as he answered for me.

"I told you, never decide what I need to know. Not ever. And yet you took it upon yourself to do so, again."

Of course. I remember now how he'd blown up at me. How he decided he'd made a mistake and he was going to take me home. Even now, after all this time on very, very rare occasions, I still worried about that. That one day he might just grow weary and decide he'd had enough.

"I told your stubborn, impossible daughter the same thing not that she ever listens. And not to put too fine a point on things but who am I with? Right now, who am I making my family with?"

He looked pained to have been forced to admit that and I did feel as though we'd made him utter a secret out loud he would have rather kept unsaid. He was with us and not Melody. He'd had a choice and Rory and I had been it.

"So this is about River?" Rory asked still trying to make heads or tails of this.

I pointed a finger at the Doctor while I addressed my first husband.

"Yes...no. No! it's about him. He said, Don't be ridiculous."

"What?" They both said at once.

"When I said I would grit this out, he said, don't be ridiculous. You don't think I can do it. You don't think I can be a strong and as magnificent and regal as a Time Lady, but I can. I don't need shortcuts and I don't need headstarts and I don't need you to cast me some pitying look like I'm a one celled organism trying to pretend to be people." I sat down on the bed defeatedly.

The Doctor sighed heavily.

"Have I made you feel that way?" He asked sitting down on the bed next to me. I wiped away an unbidden tear and looked away from him. That didn't do much good and Rory came and sat down at my other side.

"Sometimes."

"I can't bear the idea of you jeopardizing-"

"The baby is fine." I insisted. "I would never do anything that would hurt it, that's why I asked the nurse. That's why I checked."

"I _know _ the baby is fine." He answered and I could hear the effort it took for him to not raise his voice. "I've been scanning, remember. You have been jeopardizing yourself. Do you think you're any less important to us now?"

"We wanted to give you time to come to us but after awhile we couldn't wait any longer." Rory said.

"Amy, we cannot bear to see you in pain like this. Especially unnecessary pain."

"I just...I just didn't want to disappoint you again. Either of you." Finally deciding to admit the whole truth.

"I'm not a judge, love. I'm not sitting here waiting to pass some sort of sentence. I don't have good books or a naughty list. I'm just an arrogant old fool who've you've graciously decided to accept as your husband. I love you unconditionally and you have never, ever disappointed me."

"I wanted to be as strong as I imagine your first wife was."

The Doctor smiled.

"She _was _ strong. One of the strongest women I've ever known. And after about a day of what you've been going through my strong, fully Gallifreyan wife started requesting and receiving the injection I'm about to give you now."

He took a small subdermal injector from his jacket pocket and lifted up my sleeve.

There was the slightest sting as it pierced my skin and then it was done.

"I have never been disappointed in you. Not one day. Not ever. I'm sorry I called you ridiculous. I'll need to be much more careful in the future. We both will." The Doctor said and Rory nodded. "Forgive us?"

"Of course." I suddenly felt foolish. Maybe it was because the symptoms were subsiding and my head was clear for the first time in a long while. But whatever the reason my motivations in the light of reason suddenly made very little sense. "Forgive me?"

They nodded.

"Always." Rory said. "Now the Doctor said this might finally allow you to rest."

They both laid me down on the bed and brought the covers up over my body.

The nausea that I'd been living with for the past week was suddenly cut more than in half. that awful rumbling and gurgling which felt as though it were perpetually threatening to erupt was rapidly ebbing. I could focus without feeling the room slightly spin. Last but not least my hands were slowly returning to their normal color.

"Now, the Doctor tells me this won't fix everything. You'll still have to deal with some morning sickness and other usual symptoms but he's masking and counteracting some of the nastier interspecies ones."

"The dizziness is gone." I said sleepily.

"That wasn't technically dizziness, Amy. When I'm on a planet I can feel its movement its trajectory. In space I can feel the solar winds, so can our child and for awhile, so could you. That was the dizziness."

"Mmhmm." I said but I really wasn't listening. I wasn't able to listen. My symptoms gone I could finally feel all the exhaustion of the past days overtake me.

"Rest, love." Rory said dropping a kiss on my forehead. Moments later the Doctor did the same. I heard them whisper back and forth arguing about who would get to stay with me until they finally decided they both would.

Someones hands were in my hair, stroking it comfortingly.

Someone tucked and then re-tucked the covers tightly around me.

"Our amazing Amy. We will try our best not to disappoint you."

And comforted by my boys I slept.

I slept for two days straight.


	4. Physiology: The Doctor

**I don't think it's ever mentioned one way or another but I'm pretty sure there's a screenshot, somewhere that shows Melody/River does in fact have two hearts. I can't find it but I'm pretty sure it's true and even if it's not, it's true for this story, lol. This is turning out a touch more angsty than I had anticipated but there are some lemons at the end. I didn't even know I was going to revisit the River thing but here we are. **

** Physiology: The Doctor**

Two heartbeats will always be of a very specific comfort to me. Two heartbeats remind me of home. My thoughts stray to that now as I lay here in bed between my human spouses.

It took awhile to grow accustomed to human hearts, the way they flutter, the way they pound, the way they break.

I took a lover once, on Apalapucia. Amazing planet, Apalapucia, imagine an entire world built specifically for species to indulge themselves. A whole planet whose charter actually listed hedonism as its founding principle. How could I resist? I had always wanted to see the Glasmir Mountains and I used that as an excuse. I was still reeling from the loss of Adric. Everytime I closed my eyes I saw his face. Every time I looked at Teagan or Nyssa I saw how raw it still was for all of us. I'd decided we needed a break and the legend of the pleasure planet seemed to be just the place.

I met her on a tour of the Sorlos Spires. We started chatting at the observation deck, she commented on my celery. You may laugh but celery is a very sensual and intriguing vegetable and many a lady fell under its sway. Long before bow ties, celery was cool.

By about the 20th flight we were clasping hands, whispering softly and holding up the group with our dawdling. Ten minutes after that we were headed back down in search of the nearest hotel. We spent three exuberant days together, fucking frequently and speaking little. It was what I need, something free of complexities and entanglements, something that would never remind me of loss. I asked her to stay with me for those three nights and as she slept I listened to the thump of her two hearts.

That tympany, that beautiful, sweet sound lulled in a way that nothing else could.

It doesn't affect all of us the same and in fact my loomed cousins tended to look down upon those of us who put so much stock into it. But that was only because they hadn't heard it since their first sparks of awareness. It hadn't been their first music in the womb, it didn't mean steady, safe security, it didn't mean home. They were just the noises the pump apparatus of our binary system made. They held no more mystery than the engines of a freighter.

But they meant something to me. And this was before the Time War, before I lost everyone. There were Time Lords in abundance, I could have found someone, I could have gone back to my wife, to the Corsair, even to Koshei if I'd needed that rhythm so badly, but I didn't. I was too vain. Too important. So sure that they, like me would be around forever. I was lonely but I had no idea what loneliness really was. Not yet.

Human hearts are a tricky thing. It took me awhile to grow accustomed to that one solitary lonely beat, Hearing it was disconcerting. For my people one heart meant a defect, it meant sickness and possibly death. Compound that with how I was horrified at first when I started adapting their language and aphorisms and metaphors. I mean really? No, your heart is not the seat of your soul. It is not from where your emotions spring, that's from a little wrinkled area of your brain called the Deep Limbic System, right near the place that makes it possible for you to sneeze. Then I'd usually go off into a diatribe about how it's impossible to sneeze when you're asleep because of REM atonia.

I would usually follow this with the incredibly pompous statement of, "And that's why you don't love me with your heart."

Which of course was really my way of saying, "You don't love me". Or perhaps, "I don't want you to love me." "I don't need you to love me." You'd be surprised at how many people you can put off and how much mileage you can get out of, "Oh, it's the curse of the Time Lords _." Just fill in the blank with the latest companion, the latest name. Get all sad eyed and they'll usually drop whatever they're doing and start to comfort you. And thus you have extricated yourself from whatever uncomfortable situation you put yourself into.

I got even more clever. I learned of ways to say it without saying it. Blimey, but I was an expert at it by the time Martha came along. Really, that was a subtle, tactical emotional assault. My ugliest success.

It took me years afterwards to admit how badly I wanted her. How much I needed her and how I knew, just knew she could help heal those still raw and bloody scars left from losing Rose.

But I didn't want to be healed. So I pushed her away. She thought, more than likely still thinks it was her idea to leave the TARDIS, but it was mine. There are ways to make people leave. There are tried and true methods of forcing them out of your life.

I recall all these things now with a sort of vivid detachment. They happened to me. They happened to someone else. I break hearts. I split them asunder and mine continue on, steady and strong. No that's not true. They break as well. I break.

* * *

"We never promised to be exclusive." River had said and I couldn't tell if she was reading my mind or speaking hers.

This was over three months ago. We'd lay there in bed, the Salt Flats of Igos, barren and bleached white outside our hotel window after having made love for the first time. I had both Amy and Rory's blessing. Well not blessing per se but understanding. We had agreed, early on that original relationships were to be maintained and kept very, very separate, theirs and mine. Amy's kiss before I had left had been perhaps chillier than usual though even in the midst of it she apologized. Rory had rubbed my back saying, "I'll talk to her. We'll spend some time alone and things will be fine. Really." I didn't envy him his task but he did have the luxury of feeling less threatened about the entire situation.

Discovering a new body, yet a familiar one was a heady experience. When we were together I shut off all doors that lead to her parents in my mind and reveled in the feeling of her roaming about freely. Given the nature of our timelines my access to her thoughts was limited but I loved it nonetheless.

"I love you, River." I'd murmured into her mess of curls. I had her drawn up against my body, her head resting on my chest as I stroked her back.

"And I love you. I waited a very, very long time for this...for you. You were always so skittish whenever I tried to make a move."

"Perhaps I've loosened up." I said, tickling her side.

"You certainly have, Sweetie."

"How many times did you-?"

"Three." She purred. "And I must say this body of your is officially my favorite."

"Well yours is even better than I imagined."

"Oh, you've imagined? So all that flushing and blushing and tie straightening was an act?"

"Not an act, just a necessary diversion. River you'd be up for it in the middle of a firefight."

"Mmmm, there you go again putting ideas in my head."

I laughed and brought her hand up to my mouth to kiss it before turning it over to press my lips to her wrist.

"I can feel your double pulse. It takes me back to Gallifrey."

"Can you stay?"

"Yes, love."

"Not needed elsewhere."

"I'm here with you. My wife. I've missed you."

And I had missed her. When she was gone from me I felt her absence in a way I still didn't fully understand. No, I tell a lie. I understood perfectly. I knew my time with her was running out.

"When is she due?"

"I thought we agreed we weren't-"

"Just tell me."

"We're not pregnant yet." I'd said quickly.

I felt her pull back from me and realized she hadn't known. Fishing for information. Clever.

"New brother or sister, then? My sibling."

"And your stepchild." I said and immediately regretted it.

She glanced at me before throwing the blankets back and getting out of bed.

"Goddamn you, Doctor." She said but it was more weary than angry.

"I'm sorry."

She slipped on a robe and made her way over to the window, folding her arms as she gazed out.

"You do keep saying that. What exactly are you sorry for?"

"Hurting you."

"Oh good answer, Sweetie, vague enough to cover just about anything but specific enough to placate me. Did you imprint?" She wouldn't look at me as she asked.

On Gallifrey our intersecting relationships would have barely raised an eyebrow. The House of Lungbarrow was a confusing mish-mosh, more a family vine than tree. But I'd been among humans long enough to understand the mores we were violating right and left. I had naively thought things might be different because River was so different.

"You're not answering. Did you imprint?"

"Yes. I imprinted on your mother the day I crashed the TARDIS into her garden. But I'm assuming that's not what you mean. The answer is again, yes, I imprinted on both of them as mates."

"But not me?"

"I'm just as much a slave to biology in certain areas as any other creature. Not that I regret it. But I am bonded with them, River. Forever.

"I've never had one incarnation where I had you all to myself. Not one. I thought this one..."

"Perhaps you wouldn't want me all to yourself. You might be disappointed." Pulling on a dressing gown I slipped out of bed and approached her cautiously.

"Don't do that."

"Again, I'm sorry."

"Are you really not the one?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know we never meet in the right order. But I've met all of you. All of you and I never felt as strong a connection as I do with this you. The 11th. Are you really not the one?"

"What can I say but that I'm yours. I have always been yours." I said helplessly. "You change my memories, River. You pop up in my minds eye, during every existence you've been there."

She regarded me coldly. I'd seen that look from her before...and from both of her parents on separate occasions. A family trait. How quaint.

"Suppose I'll have to wait for 12 then." I saw a shadow of regret flash on her features the moment after she'd said it. Her cheeks redden and she bit her bottom lip. But I was already stung. And once crossed...

"Well, perhaps you'll have better luck with him. Cheer up, Trenzelore is next, you may not even have to wait so long."

I'd walked away from her then, turning my back as I headed back to bed.

"Doctor, I have watched you die time and time and time again-"

"Well then it should be old hat by now, right?"

"-and each time it kills me! I don't think I'm asking for too much. I don't think I should have to apologize for growing tired of losing you!"

"River!" I snapped. I didn't want to but I couldn't help it. "Don't compare...I don't want to have a pissing contest about loss. But if we did I assure you I would win."

"Doctor, to make me feel this way about my parents, my own parents. To make me think of my mother as "her", as the other woman. I don't even know how to begin to forgive you for this. You're infinite and there's still not enough of you to go around. You're prime, Theta. You are natural prime." She spat. "You can't be divided by any number except one or yourself."

"Do we have to measure love? Division. Subtraction. A cup here, an extra teaspoon here. I love you all. It is no small feat for me to say that, to feel that. It rends me but it is a fact. Why must we weigh it out?"

"Because that's what love is, Doctor! That's what you do! You measure how much you love 'A' against how much you love 'B' and you make a choice! You don't get to be this old and act this naive!"

"What do you-"

"Don't. Don't you dare ask me what I want. I won't speak to what my selfish hearts wants. Sometimes I think I would cleave them in two to be rid of you. A single heart for your double one."

"Beatrice and Benedict end up together." I said noting her reference. "Despite their differences and their bickering, they still end up together."

"You're no Benedict and I am no Beatrice. Are you still my husband?"

"Yes. I am your husband, always. Not out of obligation but because I ardently love you. Please?" I said opening my arms to her, begging her to be held within them. "Please?"

She relented and I inhaled deeply as I was finally united with her again.

"My hearts have always been with you. The place where they should be is empty. Either way, I won't survive you, but I suppose no one does. My hearts in you hand, Doctor."

I closed my eyes, flashes of the Library shooting through my minds eye.

"Yours was the last face Mels saw and the first face this one saw. I imprinted on you, you know."

"I know."

"Half a Time Lord and none of the perks." She said bitterly as she wiped away a tear.

She put her hand to her chest, clutching it.

"I can't even feel them anymore."

"I can. I can hear them. The heartbeat of a Time Lady. Infinite, beautiful, mathematical, perfect. 1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4-1-2-3-4. My dearest River."

She sighed and returned to resting against me. Our battle for this moment at least was done.

"My Doctor." She whispered quietly.

* * *

Back in the here and now as I lay in bed between my husband and wife I notice I had been absentmindedly stroking Amy's back. I watched as she stretched her way out of sleep.

"Mmmm...Doctor."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." I whispered.

"Of course you did." She said turning to face me with a grin. She was lovely and glowing as all the books said she should be. Reaching out I touch the roundness of her abdomen.

"There was a time you'd reach for my breasts before my belly." She said just before our lips met. "You don't have a fetish do you Doctor?"

"You're teasing me." I said with a smile.

"Just wondering. Wouldn't bother me if you did unless you plan on the three of us jumpstarting your entire race again."

I kissed her again deeply before answering.

"Let's worry about this first baby before we start planning for others."

I let my hand find her breasts through the material of her nightshirt, fuller in my palm, more sensitive to the touch just going by the way she drew in her breath.

"That was a good gasp, right? If you're too sensitive I can-"

"Doctor stop cataloging symptoms. Yes, it was a good gasp, I promise if something is wrong I'll tell you. Everything is right. Everything."

She pushed herself up to a sitting position and pulled the night shirt up and over her head.

"Did I mention to you how much better I'm feeling lately?" she said swinging a leg over my midsection to straddle me.

"I did get that impression." I responded as I wiggled out of my pants.

"My head is clear and its let all these other needs rise to the surface."

"Ohhh Amy, I know a bit about things rising to the surface."

She laughed as she reached for my cock.

"You're so corny, Doctor."

"You're close, one little letter off." I sat up and started to run my lips and tongue over her nipples. They hardened in my mouth, ripe buds, darkened over the past few months. I switched my focus from one breast to the other not wanting to neglect either of them.

"You're going to make her come before you even get inside her." Rory said sleepily from my side.

"That wouldn't be a great hardship." I said to him, reaching out blindly to stroke his arm. As I finished speaking Amy started to shudder above me and I put firm hands on her hips to support her. "That's my girl."

Amy fell forward, resting her body weight against me as she caught her breath. I held her close, my ear against her chest, feeling her heartbeat flutter.

"Had your fill, darling?" I asked softly.

"Not on your life." She said straightening up. I felt her delicate hand wrap again around my cock and positioning herself she lowered onto me.

"Easy...easy." I cautioned. "Just take what you can." She'd been getting twinges of pain if we went too deep and I wanted to remind her to not let her enthusiasm get the better of her. She found her rhythm and I put my hands under her thighs to support her.

Rory scooted closer and as I turned my head to the side and kissed him Amy began to work his cock within her familiar, firm grip.

"I actually...thought...we were...already...well acquainted with...Horny-Amy." Rory said between the most lovely gasps. "I was really...really...wrong."

"She's flushed with pregnancy hormones, it's shifted her libido into overdrive." I managed through clenched teeth. It had, there hadn't been a night this week that she hadn't wanted one or both of us.

"Even her handjobs are better than ever- Oh fuck!"

Rory came in a sudden, surprising rush that even he didn't seem to expect.

"Well done, Centurion." Amy said with a prideful giggle.

"Hair trigger tonight aren't we?" I said nipping at his lower lip.

"Oi!" Rory protested softly. "It's been awhile, I'm a bit blue balled, alright."

"Yes, sorry about that love." I'd wanted to say more, to explain myself but Amy gave an impatient hip swivel and I groaned shutting my eyes.

"Tell me you love me, Doctor." She said running her nails down my chest.

"I love you, Amy. I love you."

"Tell me you're mine."

"I'm yours." I said putting my hand to the back of her head trying to pull her in for a kiss.

But she pulled away, forcing my hand down.

I realized she wasn't just idly asking and it occurred to me she'd perhaps been picking up little smoky wisps of my rambling, wandering thoughts.

"I love you, Amy." I reiterated. "I love you. I'm yours."

She tossed her hair, arching backwards, a red goddess above me, full of life and passion and fire. And I wanted to worship her.

"Then come for me."

She wanted to claim me and I wanted to be claimed. Rory kissed my chest, his tongue glancing over my nipples as Amy rode me.

"Come for me, Doctor." She said again and I gave a weak, breathy squeak. I relaxed and as I lay back upon the bed felt the tension slip from my body.

"He's coming, Amy. Watch him, baby." Rory said.

I felt her eyes on me as I let myself go, gripping her hip with one hand and my other in Rory's hair. Rory, for his part, placed two wet fingers on her clit helping her the rest of the way as I came within her.

My pulse had shot up rapidly but still not at the speed that my lovers reached. My body was more tempered, more even keeled than theirs but still as we rearranged ourselves in bed, I found myself struggling to get my breath back.

Amy wrapped her arms around me while Rory pressed into my body from behind.

"Sometimes you think too loud, too." She said quietly.

"I know. I love you."

"Remember when things were simple?" Rory asked.

After a pause both Amy and I responded with a matching, "No."

"Yeah, me neither, that's why I was asking." He chuckled.

"Do you want to talk?" I asked them softly.

"No. I want to sleep." Amy said with finality. She snuggled against me and as I pulled her closer to I also pulled Rory's arm more tightly around us both.

Eventually she kissed me.

In the end we were so close I could scarcely tell where they ended and I began. As their breathing settled and they drifted off into sleep, their heart rates evened in counterpoint to one another. Four beats. Two, chasing two, chasing mine.

1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4 1-2-3-4

I am bookended.

And I hear two heartbeats.

And I know I'm home.


	5. Family

_**Family**  
_

_Family! Let's start there, family is a strange and insane and necessary and wondrous and heartbreaking thing. There's the family you're loomed into or in my case and your case born into and there's the family you choose. There's even the family that chooses you._

_I had a brother, once, by the name of Brax. A Mum and a Dad. I was married, a few times before Amy and Rory and I had children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. They were beautiful and clever and wonderful and I loved them all. They're gone now, hundreds of years gone. I'm afraid, you won't ever get to meet any of your Gallifreyan relatives. You see, my love, you and I are the last. I miss them all... terribly. Fairly recently, as far as linear time goes, you had a sister, her name was Jenny. She was smart and strong and lovely...she died too. But I still hold her and everyone else in my mind and my heart, as I hope you hold me._

_The best thing about family is, as I said earlier, you can choose them. Your Mum and Daddy-Rory were my family long before we married. You'll find that your friends, your good ones, your best ones become your family.  
_

_The best piece of advice I ever got from my Mum and Dad was "Look". That's all. It sounds deceptively simple, but truly, I've followed it, all my long life and it has never, ever steered me wrong. __Family is really good for giving advice. They often point out the things you didn't see or couldn't imagine or didn't consider. Don't make the same mistake that I did, (sometimes over and over again), of being too prideful or too arrogant to just listen._

_When I was little, I spent most of the time on my family's estate in the southern mountains of Gallifrey. My mother was... mysterious. She didn't speak much and when she did it was usually in riddles that took me years to unravel. My father was boisterous, friendly and prone to getting into trouble. I suppose that's where I may get it from. I remember one warm evening, outside, laying next to him, surrounded by the thick red grass of Mount Perdition. It was the night before my eighth birthday and unbeknownst to me I was about to be dragged to look into a horrible, natural rip in time and space. I'll explain that to you later. Anyway, we were there on our backs, breathing in the scent of that sweet fragrant grass as the planets and the stars spun above our heads._

_I asked him, I said something like, "Father, what's up there?"_

_"Everything."_

_That was what he said to me...Everything. He didn't answer me in that boring, dull, staid way of breaking it all down as gases, matter, atoms and energy. I mean I knew all that, I'd taken Advanced Astrophysics in school already, as I said I was nearly eight. He just said, everything. And that was when I knew I had to see it._

_"Look, _. Look up." he said and I saw the sky filled with fireworks. It was what we had been waiting for, an amazing array of blue and green and yellow explosions whizzing above us but I knew that wasn't what he meant. He was telling me to look beyond the silly pyrotechnics. And I did and I saw all the wonder of the universe that can only be summed up in the word, possibility. I'd never felt closer to the stars and never felt a stronger need to be amongst them._

_Within a few hours I was standing surrounded by Time Lords, shivering in the early morning air and scared absolutely witless as I stared into the Untempered Schism. I wanted to run. In a way I did run. But what I didn't realize until years later was that my Dad had known, known what would happen. When he said "Look", he was giving me permission. He was telling me there was so much more, beyond this moment, beyond this planet. So much more than the stagnant complacency our people had sunk into. Look into the Vortex. Look into the sky. Look and run._

_Now, my Mum didn't say it, not with her voice, as she was prone to do she just spoke with her eyes._

_I was terrified, lost, broken, facing down Rassilon, the Master, Gallifrey looming and moving ever closer and knowing just knowing I was staring at my death.  
_

_And then she was there. She uncovered her eyes and she was there...for me._

_"Look, _" she said to me without a word. "Look."_

_And I did. I looked and I saw and I fired at the Whitepoint Star._

_She gave me permission, to let them go, all of them, Rassilon, Koschei, every Time Lord and her. My Mum helped me to finally, as best as I could let the Time War go, once and for all._

_I know this doesn't make a lot of sense to you now, it doesn't have to. In some ways context is unimportant. What should stick are the lessons of those days.  
_

_So, I pass on to you some of the best advice I ever received. Look, my little love. Look around you, look everywhere, look up, look down, look to the side, peer around corners, look at your shoes, look at the stars, the sky, the ground, the water, the insects. Look past the obvious and the mundane. It's all important, every stitch, every grain, every bit, pay attention. See! It may save your life someday and either way it will definitely improve it._

_Treasure your family, never take them for granted, never assume they'll always be there. Family is extraordinary and so by its very nature it can be sadly fleeting.  
_

_It probably didn't take you too long to realize your own familial unit was a little on the weird side. Not everyone has two dad's one of whom is an alien and a sister who appears to be older than her parents as well as having one of their dad's married to aforementioned sister. I suppose that makes me your father as well as your brother in law. Some people might find that arrangement odd or abnormal and those people are what I like to call, wrong. You are the luckiest boy or girl in the wide universe and there is nothing, absolutely nothing improper about our little family. You are extraordinary. We're all extraordinary. Never forget that._

_Alright, House Of Lungbarrow...our ancestral tree goes back a few billion years, so what say I just give you the abbreviated version? Still this is going to take awhile so you may want to get comfortable..._


	6. Family: Rory

**Wow, 8000 plus words in this one. I didn't see that coming! I cover a few things here, Amy and Rory's first time together as mentioned briefly in Chapter 7 of "Come And Knock On Our Door" and since the question of what the hell happened to Rory's mom is never broached I decided to let my imagination run riot. Ok, I hope what I'm doing with the story makes a bit more sense now and I hope you like it. Hopefully this will tide you guys over for awhile. :) Allons-y**

**Family: Rory**

In a way I think I created my family with and around Amy. My Dad and I were never close. We shared a home but we were strangers. I spent most of my time at Amy's and she and Mels and I were each others support system. It wasn't until after Amy and I married, that my Dad and I began making inroads towards a relationship. He adored Amy, always had though he had warned me.

"Rory," he said. "Be careful with that one. You know I love Amy but she's wild. She's untamed and at times she reminds me a bit of your mother."

I'd bristled at that. Amy was nothing like my mother and in a way it only helped to widen the rift between he and I. In fact we were in the middle of a row right about the time I got a text from Amy that said, "Mels stole a bus! I need your help."

Once everything was sorted I'd really felt the need to get out of there. I had too much on my mind to see another Mels saga through to the end. So I'd lied when I said I was on earlies, just to get back home. That little lie of course turned out to be completely inconsequential in the grand scheme of things considering everything that happened after I said it. In fact, moments after it was out of my mouth I'd forgotten it, right about the time Mels referred to me as Mr. Perfect. Then Amy announced that she thought I was gay. Before Mels could spell it out, before it all dawned on her I took off at a run. Ok, not my most manly moment but I was strictly operating on automatic. I dashed down the two flights of stairs in Amy's house, barely avoided running into her Aunt Sharon and I was out the door, breakneck speed headed towards my house.

_Damn Mels._

That was all I was thinking, all I could think. I had wanted to tell Amy in my own time, in my own way. Of course I knew that was bullshit. I'd had time, time in abundance, years even and I had never worked up the nerve. And somehow in all that time I had not only drifted into the realm of friend, but of gay friend. Yeah, I had played it cool with her, so cool I'd played myself right out of heterosexuality.

_Damn Mels._

How was I going to face her again? What was she going to say to me? What was she thinking now? Would she find it funny? Would she laugh at me? Amy wasn't always the most sensitive sort. Worse yet would she be angry? Would she think I'd tricked her somehow? Or would she just think I was a coward, which of course I was.

_Damn Mels._

God, the two of them were probably laughing it up right now. I'd never be able to look either of them in the eye again. That of course meant, not only would I never get the chance to ask Amy out but we probably wouldn't be friends anymore and that went for Mels at well. Not that I was feeling all that chummy towards her at the moment. In one short flash of time I had lost my two best mates.

What had she said though?

Nice thought, but it's impossible.

Nice thought? Did that mean she'd thought about me? The two of us together? Had she thought of us as an _us_?

_Stupid, Rory. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Do you really want to go down that road, mate? You just love to torture yourself don't you._

Rory!

_Alright, I'll knock it off. I'm actually arguing with myself now. I'm shouting at myself._

Rory!

_Yes, I said I'll stop. Blimey, even my own brain is fighting against me._

"Rorrrrryyyyyyyyyyyyy!"

Ok, wait that's not coming from inside my head.

I slowed down to a jog and turned around to see Amy sprinting towards me. Her hair had come loose from the clip and was bouncing wildly behind her. She was moving pretty fast considering how restrictive I imagined it was to run in that short skirt. God, her skirts were always _so bloody short_! It was evening, I had to stop. Couldn't let her walk about town alone at night, even it was just good old, sleepy Leadworth. I'd have to walk her back home now and she'd want to talk. We'd have to actually talk about this. I'd have to speak words. Damn it. God-fucking-damn-it-all-to-hell!

_Oh and lest I forget, Damn Mels._

Amy came to a stop in front of me, her cheeks rosy from exertion. She stood for a minute, catching her breath and I shifted my bookbag nervously.

She regarded me silently...and then she punched me in the chest.

"Ow!"

"That's for making me run after you and not stopping when I'm screaming your name up and down the road at 9 o'clock at night."

"Sorry." I mumbled, rubbing the place where she'd struck me.

"You're just going to up and leave like that?" She said putting her hands to her hips.

"Well..." I expected more words to follow but I came up empty.

"So...it's true then." She said her eyes going wide.

"Let me walk you back home." I said nearly putting my hand on her back to guide her and then stopping myself.

"Knock it off." She said. "You're not gay then?"

"No."

She seemed to digest this before continuing. I moved my bag from shoulder to shoulder, hoping a hole might open and swallow me up.

"Rory...do you fancy me?"

I started laughing then, a nervous sort of braying laugh.

"Do I fancy you?" I repeated. "Amy, I love you."

It was out of my mouth before I could stop it. At this point what did it matter?

"You do?"

"Yeah..."

"I fancy you."

Why was she lying to me? Why now? This didn't make me feel better in fact it made me feel worse.

"Amy...you don't have to say that. I mean I'm not asking for anything."

"I know. _Why_? Why don't you ever ask for anything? Why didn't you ever just ask me out or take my hand or kiss me?"

Was she serious? She might as well have asked why didn't I just climb Everest for fun? You know for shits and giggles.

I rolled my eyes which probably wasn't the best move and I saw her narrow hers at me in the dusky light.

"Fine. If you don't want to talk about it then just forget the whole thing." She said sharply.

I started to panic, this had started off all wrong and it was only getting worse by the minute. I watched as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

"I'm going home, Rory and I don't need your help getting there. Just go do whatever it is that you do."

Amy turned on her heel to go.

I couldn't let it end like this and it did feel like an ending.

"Wait, Amy...can we talk about this? I mean, I'd like to it's just really hard, ok?"

She turned back to me and pursed her lips.

"OK, Let's go to your house. Is you Dad home or can we be alone?"

No. No my Dad was most definitely not home. That brought up a whole other slew or problematic feelings but I pushed them down. This was about Amy and I.

"Yeah we'll have the whole house, he won't be back until tomorrow."

She nodded and started walking in the direction of my house and after a moment I hurried to catch up with her. Twenty minutes later we were in my bedroom. She was sitting on my bed, munching on candy and I was on the floor, legs crossed too nervous to eat the peanuts I had sitting in front of me. My Dad and I never had much in the way of nibbles. It just wasn't that kind of house, it never had been to the best of my recollection. That was one of the reasons Mels and I always spent so much time at Amy's. It was friendlier, more welcoming than our own homes. It was warm and fun and relaxing and just...happy. I was glad I'd tidied up a bit and I fretted about what might have happened if I'd had a pair of pants just sitting in the middle of the floor or worse yet a...magazine.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked having raised an eyebrow as she gazed down at me.

"Hmm?"

"You've gone all red."

"Oh..I was..nothing..."

"Cross with Mels?"

"No. Well, yes actually. I mean what did she mean, cut to the song it's getting boring? You can't just demand that people express their feelings before they're ready. You can't just put them on your timetable."

"Can't you?" Amy asked. She changed positions and as she did so the material of her tights made a pleasant friction noise as it rubbed against my blanket.

"I just...it's not the way I wanted to tell you." I said softly.

"How did you want to tell me?"

She asked with genuine curiosity.

"Well...I always imagined saving up and taking you to a really nice dinner at a really posh restaurant. I always wanted to take you for a night in London, maybe to see a show. And then I wanted to bring you somewhere quiet, maybe outside, under the starlight. Then I'd tell you..."

"Tell me what?"

"I'd tell you, Amy, I love you. I've loved you since the first day we met. I think you're the loveliest, smartest, kindest most wonderful woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing. And if you'll have me, if you'll give me a chance, I promise, I will make every day of your life better than the one before."

"Why don't you say it now?"

"I believe I just did." I said glancing up at the bed to look at her. Through the whole speech I hadn't been able to make eye contact.

"Rory..." Amy got to her knees on the bed and curled her finger at me. As always I was helpless but to obey her. "You really love me?"

I sat down next to her on the bed and nearly jumped out of my skin when she put her hand in my hair.

"I've loved you since we were seven."

And then she was kissing me. Tentative at first until both of us grew bolder. By heaven she was a fantastic kisser.

When she pulled away her eyes roamed my face seeking approval.

"Good?" She asked.

"I think I'm going to have a heart attack."

"I'll take that as a yes."

We started kissing again and somehow in a moment I was on top of her. All my scattered mind could think is, I'm on top of Amy Pond. I can feel her beneath me, warm and soft, touching me, caressing me, whispering my name. Was this is a dream? Probably, which means we're nearing the point where I usually wake up...rather sticky.

I felt as if I was losing small bundles of time because she now had her jumper off. The only thing between me and her soft, pale inviting breasts was a flimsy, lacy bra.

She pulled me down for another kiss. When had I pulled back? Why had I pulled back?

"Amy, umm, not that I'm not really enjoying this but how far are we proceeding?"

_What are you saying idiot?_

Seriously, that was as far as I was thinking we'd go and I was over the moon about it. Honestly she had just given me enough wank material for years to come.

"How far are we proceeding?" She laughed. "You've gone all formal." But her demeanor changed though after that as she grew serious. "Rory...I don't want to stop."

What a rubbish time for my hearing to go...

"Really?" I was gobsmacked and had to clarify to make sure..

"Really. Have you ever...?"

"No," I said feeling the blush creep up my neck and cheeks.

But to my surprise she looked relieved.

"Good. Me neither. Not that I would have held it against you if you had. That's not what I mean."

"You and Jeff never..."

"No! He wanted to but the most I ever did was give him a hand release during Pirates of the Caribbean."

"Oh." I said. I didn't really know how to respond to that.

"Do you want to?"

"Good _God_ yes!"

"Good. Then put your hands on me."

She took my hand and brought it up to cup her breast and my breath came out in a squeaky sort of whistle. I was already so hard but touching her that way brought me to near carbonite/adamantium levels. I dared to pinch her nipple and she made a little moaning noise and said my name.

Oh this was heaven. This was Christmas. This was Christmas in heaven.

"You best get your trousers off." She whispered and I nodded as I started to fiddle with the zipper of my jeans. I had to get to my knees on the bed to truly unfasten them and she took that time to remove her bra and began to shimmy out of her skirt and tights. The sight of her bare breasts made my mind go blank to the point where I'm fairly certain I forgot my own name.

"Oh no." My mouth said the words before my brain even knew what was wrong.

"What is it?" She asked with a tilt of her head.

"I don't have anything. Protection wise. I never really thought I'd need it. I mean I got some condoms from health class a few years ago but they've long since expired and actually got sort of melty."

"Well-" She began but I cut her off. I was terrified of what she might say.

"No, no, I'll fix it. Hodges Chemist is just up the road." I was already putting my clothes back on, smoothing my hair and willing my erection down. "I'll pop in, pick up some condoms and be right back, I swear it."

"Ok." She said with a smile.

"Really, it's ok?"

"Of course, moron." She said good naturedly.

"It won't take but a moment."

"I know I believe you."

"And you'll be here when I get back."

She stretched out in my bed, her body graceful and lovely under the sheets. With a grin she reached out of sight and then swiftly hurled her knickers at my face.

"I promise, I will be here when you get back."

I sighed and smiled at her with relief.

"Is there anything you'd like?"

"Just hurry back. Oh, wait maybe some crisps and dip. I think we might be hungry afterwards. I tend to get a little peckish after I rub one out."

The thought of her masturbating made me go slightly paralyzed and I didn't move until she giddily shouted at me to "Get going!"

I practically flew out of my house and covered the three blocks to the chemist in a few minutes flat.

I hoped they'd still be open.

I hoped they'd have what we needed.

And I really hoped that old Mrs. Breyer's my ex-Sunday School teacher wasn't manning the cash register this evening.

Sprinting through the door and nearly skidding into the nibbles aisle as I slid across the newly mopped floor I realized I wouldn't be so lucky with my third wish.

"Why hello, Rory. Don't you look handsome this evening!"

"Hello Mrs. Breyers. How are you?" I said with a tight smile.

"Oh wonderful. How is nursing school?"

"Great, great, wonderful." I said trying to disappear from her sight line.

I grabbed the crisps Amy and I both liked and the least onion-y dip I could find. A couple bottles of soda and I made a beeline for what might as well be called The Embarrassing Sundries aisle.

But why should I be embarrassed. I was an adult. A grown man. And I was about to have sex with the girl of my dreams. _Responsible_ sex no less. I looked over my options, grabbed a box and rushed to the counter.

Mrs. Breyers had been saying something, a few things as a matter of fact all of which I had answered with an "Uh-huh."

"Big evening of studying ahead of you?" She asked as her arthritic hands started to ring up my items.

"Umm, yeah something like that."

She was moving so slow. So unimaginably slow and all I could think about was Amy, lying naked in my bed, waiting for me to return.

_Hurry up, woman!_

"Oh, Rory." She said disapprovingly. I'd been searching through my wallet for the bills I knew were there and purposefully avoiding eye contact. She was waiting for me to look at her and finally I raised my head to face her judgement. "I don't see a wedding ring on that hand."

For the second time today I wanted to crawl into a hole.

"How much do I owe you?" i asked hoping vainly to speed the process along. Sometimes I hated how small Leadworth really was.

"Have you forgotten everything I told you in Sunday School?"

"Umm...no. But I'm really in hurry. Like, really Mrs. Breyer's."

But she wouldn't be dissuaded and as she waggled my box of condoms about I realized I was actually on the cusp of a very long sermon.

And I had to do what I had to do.

"You know, Rory." She began. "The good book says-"

That was about the time I snatched the box out of her hand. She'd already bagged up my other items and I grabbed that too. I'd gotten a box of six to be on the safe side. Neither over cautious no overly ambitious and it wasn't more than seven pounds. The snacks and sodas weren't more than about four pounds more than that. Grabbing a twenty pound note from my wallet I slapped it on the counter, shoved the condoms in the bag and dashed out of the store calling, "Thank you Mrs. Breyer's keep the change!"

I raced back home as fast as my feet would carry me. To the casual observer I probably looked as though I were running from the scene of a crime but I didn't care. I got back into the house, locked the door behind me and propelled myself up the stairs and back into my bedroom all the while trying to prepare myself for the possibility she might be gone.

She wasn't.

My lovely Amy was still there.

In my bed.

Skimming through one of my gents magazines.

"Is this what you wank to?" She asked with a gleam in her eyes.

"I..." I couldn't even stammer. "Where did you get that?"

"Oh, from the impossible to find hiding place that was beneath your mattress. Do you think these girls are pretty?"

"I think you're pretty." I answered.

Satisfied she flung the magazine to the floor.

"Did you get them?"

"Yeah." I said taking them out of the bag.

"Ready to get started again?" She asked quirking a smile.

"Oh, yeah."

"Well then get your kit off and get back into bed."

I stripped in front of her which was also a completely brand new, exhilarating and terrifying situation. She eyed my penis before I slipped into bed and the smile she gave me made me feel as though I could fly around the room. Once back in bed our naked bodies pressed and writhing against one another as we snogged, my erection returned with exuberance. I parted from her only to tear open the condom box and then packet and to start the surgical precision I thought was required in putting one on. She asked if she could help but I figured having her hand on my cock would probably be enough to bring the evening to a very early close. Surprisingly I was able to maneuver it on with little hassle and managed not to look like the oaf I felt I was. She opened her arms to me and I gently placed my body atop hers.

"I love you, Amy."

"I know. I love you, too."

"I only want to make you happy and I really, really want to be with you now. But if this is too soon, if you had time to think about it while I was gone and you changed your mind, I understand." I brushed a few errant strands away from her face as I spoke. She was so beautiful. I could look into that face, those eyes forever. "If you want to wait, we can wait. I'd wait for you forever."

"I don't want to wait." She said with a little shake of her head. But she was biting her bottom lip, looking as nervous as I felt.

"Ok..."I breathed. "Ok."

Taking my cock in hand I slowly positioned myself against her outer lips, at that first contact and that initial feeling of her wetness I shut my eyes, biting back a torrent of grateful, happy swears.

"Ready?" I asked.

She nodded again and I inched forward just edging the head of my penis inside her.

"Wait, wait, Rory wait!" She said panic having crept into her voice and I stopped immediately.

"Ok, of course." I started to draw back but she stopped my motion with her hand.

"No, don't move, just let me get used to it, ok."

I nodded. Inside my head a thousand voices were screaming, demanding to be fully sheathed inside her, I heard them but the only voice worth listening to was Amy's.

"I want this... I just..."

"I know." I said. "Just take deep breaths and try and relax a little. It is going to hurt, love. It always hurts the first time but it's brief. You can trust me, Amy. You can trust me to take care of you and trust me to stop at anytime you want. I promise. I just, I love you."

I saw her eyes well up with tears that for the moment went unshed and I smiled. I hoped I'd said the right thing. Not so she'd let me do what I so desperately wanted to but so that she just felt better and more at ease.

"I do trust you, Rory. Make love to me."

I nodded and smiled broadly before I kissed her, our tongues dueling lightly.

It was finally time.

"Here we go." I whispered into her ear. "Really quick and then it's over, ok?"

"Ok."

I inhaled deeply and after a silent three count thrust inside her.

She cried out and I winced at the sound feeling incredibly guilty. Her nails dug into my back for a few seconds and a few of those previously unwept tears coursed down her cheeks.

"I know, love. I know, I'm sorry. Are you ok? Tell me, Amy."

She nodded and then exhaled in a gust.

"Yes. yes, I'm ok."

I put my palm to her cheek and kissed her softly a few times before speaking. I needed this to come out right.

"Amy, I promise that will be the last time that I ever hurt you. I swear."

"I know that." She said and from the look on her face I knew that quite in spite of herself she believed it.

I stilled myself within her. She felt incredible and if my heart managed not to thunder out of my chest and if I could go, oh say sixty seconds, without coming I'd consider the evening a ripping success.

"Only when you're ready, love." I whispered and as her lips found mine we engaged in a long, slow, soft kiss.

"Ready." She said and I gently withdrew a little and thrust again. Another whimper of pain but much softer than the first. I repeated the move again, again and again and by the fifth thrust her vocalizations and her movements had transformed all together. She was enjoying herself and God knows I was.

This was pleasure. This was wondrous pleasure. This was me inside Amy, our two bodies moving as one and it was better than any fantasy or dream.

"Rory..." She breathed and I had never heard my name articulated so perfectly.

Nothing had prepared me for how this would feel. How wet and warm she'd feel around me. How I could feel her muscles clench as I (hopefully) brought her closer towards orgasm. How her hardened nipples would feel pressed against my chest. How passionate kissing was in the midst of lovemaking. How erotic her little puffs of breath would feel as they hit my face. Or just how she would glow beneath me and smile as though she was exactly where she'd always wanted to be. I know I was.

"Amy, you feel incredible."

"You too."

I'd lost complete track of time

"Close?" I asked her and she shook her head.

"No...already there." She said her voice high pitched and deliciously breathy. "Oh God, Rory, I'm coming."

I half expected streamers and balloons to drop from the ceiling. I was making her come. Bumbling Rory Williams was making Amy Pond come and by _GOD_ it was spectacular. The moans, the cries, the way she squeezed her eyes shuts and the fantastic way she gripped my cock as she rode the gentle waves was indescribably indescribable.

"Amy...Oh Amy." I said as my continued thrusts brought about my own orgasm. It was rush of chemicals and happiness and release and joy that made anything I'd imagined and everything I'd done with my hands pale in comparison.

We were a chorus of crying out one another's names, holding, caressing stroking bodies as we descended that glorious peak. Finally we went silent and nothing but the sound of our breathing filled my bedroom.

I locked eyes with her, we barely broken eye contact the entire time and I felt as though I never wanted to again.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to punctuate this, how to express how happy I was. I didn't know what words could possibly describe this and certainly I could think of nothing that could make it better.

But Amy could.

"My Rory." She said cupping my face with both her hands.

Her Rory. I had wanted to be hers forever.

"My Amy." I said kissing those beestung pink lips.

After a few moments of maninting that incredible connection I withdrew from her. I disposed of the condom and then pulled her into my arms. My eyes started to burn with tears that I hadn't even remotely expected and that I certainly hadn't wanted. I gnawed on my lip in an attempt to bite them back but they wouldn't obey. A sniffle garnered her attention and she raised her head off my chest to look at me.

"Sorry...I don't..." I began but she only smiled and put a finger to my lips to silence me. This wasn't very manly at all but there seemed to be nothing I could do. I hadn't expected to be so emotional about this but my heart was actually aching with how happy I was.

"Don't tell anyone I cried, yeah?"

"Of course not."

"I'm just so bloody happy you know. I'm crying because I'm just happy. I thought I'd be cooler than that but I guess not."

"I think you're pretty damn cool, Rory. Definitely very cool."

I chuckled wetly.

"Thanks."

"So we should probably start dating now." She'd said simply.

"Yeah, I think I'd like that." I managed. The tears were thankfully abating.

We lay there for awhile in a comfortable silence and I stroked her shoulder, her back, her hair as contented as any man had ever been.

Blindly she reached behind her and grabbed her cellphone off my nightstand.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Texting Mels. I'm telling her to tell Aunt Sharon I won't be home tonight and I'll see them both sometime tomorrow."

When she continued typing for awhile i got curious.

"Amy is that all you're telling her?"

"Maybe."

"You're not-"

"Of course I am. She'll be thrilled. She's our best mate don't you think she wants to know that we did it."

"I...I just feel weird about it for some reason."

"Oh, shut up stupid." She said and then gave me a sweet and unexpected kiss before returning to texting. "She my best girlfriend. I suppose my only girlfriend, don't you think I'm going to tell her about my first time?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

Amy sent the message and her phone dinged almost immediately with a reply.

"Well, what's she say?"

Amy chuckled and then showed me.

I read it aloud.

"_Gross. LOL. Just kidding. It's about tme._ Well that's a fine answer." I huffed. "Why gross? What are you writing her now?"

"Something very complimentary about your penis."

"Amy, don't!"

"Too late."

Another almost immediate ding.

"What's she say now?"

This time Amy began to read aloud.

"_One day you're going to be really, really embarrassed that you sent this message. As for me I'm going to go wash my eyes and brain with soap and then hang myself. Mummsy, Dadsy, have a nice night._"

"Mummsy and Dadsy?" I asked.

"It's just something silly she says sometimes. I don't know why she's being weird about details all of a sudden. I know everything she's done. Did she ever tell you about the time she-"

"I don't want to know." I said quickly.

"Now you're acting weird too. Ok, whatever. Rory?"

"Yes?"

"I can stay here tonight, yes?"

"You can stay here forever." I said before I could stop myself.

She laughed but it didn't sting. I knew she wasn't laughing at me.

"What about your Dad?" She asked.

I supposed maybe now was as good a time as any to just tell her the truth.

"Amy, I have a confession."

"It wasn't your first time?" She said quickly.

"No. No, why would you assume that."

"I don't know." She said softly and when I peered at her she appeared to be blushing. "Maybe because you were...good at it."

"I was?" I said, too surprised to act boastful.

"Yeah, I mean I have nothing to compare it to but...well I thought you were good."

"Wow...well thank you. I mean really, thanks. You were good too. But not in any way that would make me think you were lying and you'd done it before or anything like that. I didn't mean-"

"I know what you meant." She said and then she kissed my chest and it was blissful. "What's your confession?"

"I'm not on earlies tomorrow."

"No?"

"No...my Mum may be coming home."

Amy was still and silent by my side.

"Your...Mum?"

"Yeah, Dad left this afternoon to go pick her up from the train station."

For about as long as Amy and I had know each other my Mum had been out of the picture. She left Dad and I when I was about four years old. i never really knew the full story, just what I could piece together from hushed family conversations that stopped abruptly when I entered the room. Domestic life just wasn't for her. She couldn't handle it, the whole wife and mother thing apparently drove her a little bonkers. Why she'd ever married someone as button downed and straight laced as my Dad I'll never know. My Dad who considered a trip to the post to be a harrowing excursion. There was a whole big wide world out there for her to see and explore and one day she wrote us a note, packed a bag and left. I had a few genuine memories of her. I recall sitting in her lap while I sucked my thumb and she sang to me. I can sort of remember her face looking down at me. But most of all I remember her hair. it was big and wild, composed of rambunctious blonde curls that were just as unruly as she was. I of course have pictures throughout the years, she was always in contact, fleeting though it was, but those memories are mine and mine alone.

"Are you ok?" Amy asked me. She had turned in my arms and was resting her small chin on my chest looking up at me sympathetically.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine."

"Is she coming home to stay."

"Heavens no. I mean I don't think so. I hope not. She apparently told Dad she had something to tell him, something important."

"Are you sure?"

"About which part? Her not coming home to stay or me not wanting her?"

"Both."

"I'm pretty sure she and Dad are going to stay at a hotel overnight in Cardiff. I'd rather not delve too deeply into that imagery if you don't mind, then they'll drive back here tomorrow afternoon. He's never gotten over her, you know."

"Have you?"

I sighed. I wasn't sure how to answer or even what to answer. My feelings on my mother used to change like the wind but recently they had settled down a bit.

"I realized a few years back all the things I thought I needed from her I didn't. And all the things I thought I could have gotten from her, I wouldn't have. She's not a bad woman, Amy. She just got stuck in a life that wasn't for her, you know what I mean?"

"I think so. Still, she should have at least tried to figure it out earlier. I hate seeing your little Dad all alone. I also think he's sometimes harder on you than he should be."

I liked her feathers getting ruffled as she defended me and I raised her chin to kiss her.

"I'm ok. My Dad and I have settled into a live and let live sort of policy with one another. And as for my Mum, I wish her the best. I'll give her a hug and a kiss tomorrow and maybe we'll sit and have tea and then I'll excuse myself and dash over to your house where everything is wonderful and everything makes snese."

"Oh yeah, my house is where everything makes absolute sense isn't it?" She joked. "So, why did you lie about earlies?"

"I don't know. I guess because family drama can be embarrassing. You know sometimes you just want to bury your head in the sand and let it pass."

"Yeah...I know exactly what you mean."

"So," I said giving her a squeeze. "You ok that you first time was with me and not the Doctor?"

Amy feigned indignation and scoffed.

"It's not like that, I already told you! Plus he's not even real! Plus that was years ago and if he was real, which he isn't, maybe he's liked aged exponentially by now. He could be old and wizened like a little troll by now. Plus-"

"There's a third plus?"

"Yes. Plus...I think it was always supposed to be you. Me and you. I just took too long to figure it out."

I kissed her again before reaching for the bag on the floor and hauling the crisps and dip up to the bed. We both tore into them eagerly. She was right, I was hungry.

"Can I take you to the cinema on Friday?" I asked.

"Cinema?" She teased. "What happened to a big fancy dinner in London complete with a show and a nighttime picnic? You blokes are all the same, you get what you want and the value of the offers starts to depreciate."

"Amy" I began, pulling her close. "I'll take you wherever you want, love. You name the place. If you want me to, I'll take you to the stars."

* * *

Fast forward, years later and as I poured River another glass of wine I noticed the gash marks on her hands.

"You're all sliced up." I said.

She had just, as she put it crawled out of the Byzantium. Both she and Amy had taken turns telling me that story before an emotionally exhausted and entirely drunk Amy had bid us good night. I'd tucked her into bed before returning back outside to sit and talk with our daughter.

"Just some scratches, Rory." She said. "Hardly worth fussing over."

"It's Dad and I like to fuss." I said. "Hang on."

I stood up and dashed back inside to retrieve a First Aid kit. Sitting down next to her I took one of her hands and turned it palm up in my own and set to work cleaning her wounds.

"You know you never really call me Dad."

"Don't I? I don't think that's true."

"No, it is. When you were regenerating you called me Dad and told me to shut up because you were focusing on a dress size. Then just this evening you called me Father dear. But it's always in jest. Never real. Why is that?"

For once River looked flustered. She didn't meet my eyes and instead directed all her attention to the stem of her wine glass.

"I don't know." She said finally. "I suppose because...I don't want to put any sort of pressure on you or Amy. I don't want you to feel that you owe me anything."

"Owe you anything? Pressure? River..._Melody_...you're our daughter."

"Stop it." She said softly.

"You are." I insisted. "Your mother and I, we made you on our honeymoon no less. You are undeniably ours."

"I said stop it, Rory!" She snapped and yanked her hand away from me. "I came to deliver the news about the Doctor. That duty done, I think I should leave."

She rose and started to input coordinates on her vortex manipulator. Suddenly it was all too much, I couldn't let her leave again and what to do and say washed over me in a flash of calm.

"You're not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry?" She said clearly affronted but also curious as to where I was daring to go with this.

"I said, you aren't going anywhere. You are going to sit down right here, Melody Pond and you are going to listen to me because I am your father and I told you to."

I didn't raise my voice. I didn't have to and blimey if it didn't work. She stared at me wide eyed for a second or so before dropping her hands to her side. Mutely she sat down in the chair before me and swallowed.

"Yes, Dad." She said and there was no jibe in it, no teasing, no joke. She was actually, truly calling me Dad.

"That's more like it. I never told you my side of Demons Run, did I?"

She shook her head.

"I found you being held by Kovarian herself. I put my blade to her throat and just uttered one word. No. I've lived a very long time, Melody, rebooted universe or not. I've been in many, many battles but I have never felt such rage as I felt at that moment. I would have beheaded her where she stood, without so much as a moments thought or regret but your safety was more important than my wrath. I took you out of that contraption they had you in. I looked down at you and you looked back up at me and I said, "Hello love, I'm sorry if my armor is cold. Won't be a moment. By the way, I'm your Dad."

River chuckled at that and I joined her as she offered her hand again to me to continue bandaging.

"Not the best opening line to my newborn I know but at that moment I was so engrossed with keeping you safe and rescuing your Mum I don't believe I was thinking clearly. I checked you up and down to make sure they hadn't hurt you and saw that you were perfect, absolutely perfect. I dashed off with you to find your Mum and got the door open with the Doctors screwdriver and then we were reunited. Finally a family."

"I wish I could remember that."

"Do you know what I did when you and your mother and I were finally together for the very first time?"

She shook her head again.

"I cried. Burst into tears. I'd wanted to be cool, whatever that meant but the second I saw both of you, my girls, I couldn't help myself. You were so small and so, so beautiful and at that moment with your mother by my side and you cradled against my chest I realized I was complete. And I know, I know that was the Flesh you but still, that was my one moment with my little infant Melody. And if you were Flesh then you still had the essence of our daughter, you believed you were her as much as a baby can believe anything. So for me, you were her. My daughter. My Melody. Melody Pond, because Melody Williams, according to your mother, is a geography teacher."

I leaned forward and cupped her face with my hand, feeling her chin tremble against my palm.

"Listen to me, Melody and carry these words in your hearts. I'm your Dad and I love you, more than anything in this wide universe. I will always be here for you. I will always protect you. I will never leave you. And I will always, _always_ no matter the incarnation, adore you beyond anything and everything because you are and ever shall be, my baby."

A sob ripped past her lips and at the noise she clamped her hand over her mouth to stifle it. But I quickly brought that hand down and away from her.

"It's ok, you can cry." I soothed. Opening my arms I beckoned her into my lap and to my surprise and relief and joy, she came. She wrapped her arms around me and buried her face against my neck. "You can cry, baby. That's what I'm here for. You can always cry on your Daddy's shoulder."

How long we sat like that I really don't know. All I do know is that I was happy. I was holding my daughter in my arms and she was just as perfect as she had been that day at Demons Run. She was ours, we had made her out of the purest love I've ever known and she was by far the best thing Amy and I had ever, ever done.

Eventully and with only a smidge of embarassment River pulled away and rose from my lap.

"Now, I really do have to go. There'll be hell to pay if I miss bed check. Plus I'm sure Mum is missing you."

I nodded. We never got to keep her for very long but at least this time when we parted it was on happy terms.

"You'll take care of yourself?"

"Yes, Dad."

"And you'll visit us?"

"Yes, Dad."

"You know, I never thanked you."

"Whatever for?"

"For getting your Mum and I together. Cut to the song, it's getting boring, you said. It has to be you two, you said. And you were right. If it hadn't been for you..."

She grinned widely.

"Happy to help. Though I really could have done without those texts afterwards, I still can't get that imagery out of my head."

I searched my memory for the reference and then grimaced when it came to me.

"Oh _God_...Melody. She.. I told her not to..." I groaned.

She giggled then. Like a little girl. Like mine and Amy's little girl.

"Well think of how _I_ feel!" She input coordinated onto the manipulator and paused to look at me. "I love you, Dad." She said seriously. "I'll see you soon."

"You look like your grandmother, my Mum." I blurted out in a rush. "Did I ever tell you that? She had a ridiculous and wonderful wild mess of curls just like you. "You never met her, as Mels I mean. She was in the hospital... ill the day Amy and I got married. She got sick around the time Amy and I started dating. Cancer. That's why my Dad wasn't at the reception. I visited her a few days before and I think we made our peace. I told her we could put the wedding off, Amy and I were agreeable, but she wouldn't have it, she said she'd caused enough detours and roadblocks in my life. She died while we wee travelling with the Doctor. We left a empty chair for her in the chapel, next to my Dad."

"I know, saw it."

I frowned in confusion.

"How did you see it. You weren't there, you said you don't do weddings."

"Oh Dad, Rule Number One, River..._Melody_ lies. I peeked in through the window, I saw the whole ceremony. I couldn't not be there for my family."

I approached my daughter and brought her in for one last hug.

"I just know sometimes you may not feel connected to us. But you're right, you are family, Your grandmother, she was wild and unpredictable and funny and she had amazing hair. But you're also better than her, you're stronger and smarter and you're a hell of alot more reliable and when you have children of your own with the Doctor you are going to be an amazing mum."

We broke the hug, both of us emotional and teary.

"I've really got to get back to prison now, Dad." She joked.

"I know, love. Off with you then."

"Give Mum a kiss for me."

"Always. Tell the Doctor, when you see him, we love him."

"Always. Until next time. This...you don't know how much this meant to me, Dad."

I thought back to sitting next to my Mum, holding her hand a she lay in her hospital bed, the two of us being graced with one last chance to say all the unsaid things.

"I think I have a pretty good idea."

"I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, baby." I said.

My daughter disappeared into a flash of light. I tidied up a bit and climbed the stairs and silently slipped into the bed I shared with my wife. In her sleep she turned her body into mind, resting her head against my chest.

In the present, the here and now I watched as Amy and the Doctor pleasantly bickered over baby names. Amy had brought the Doctor into our little family as well. My Dad loved him just as he'd loved Melody when they'd met. And now there was to be a brand new addition, just a few months away. And as with everything good in my life it revolved around Amy, it flowed from her and through her.

"If you're not too buy grinning at whatever is running through your head, maybe you can be the tiebreaker." Amy said breaking into my thoughts.

"First mistake Pond, because Rory is definitely going to side with me."

"Delusional as ever, Doctor."

"Cocky as ever, Pond."

"Rory?" Amy called.

"Rory!?" The Doctor countered.

"Rory!?" They both said together.

I burst out laughing, happy to play the peacemaker, happy to be with my husband and wife, happy to be with my family.


	7. Family: Amy

**A few notes, I cut away from Amy's point of view just because I wanted certain things to occur without her in the room. Her parents according to the TARDIS wiki are named Augustus and Tabetha. Again, I'm not super concerned with being linear here, the themes take precedence over the timeline to me. I hope you all are enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. It's also so nice to have something light like this to jump back into after some of the serious tones of "Epistolary". Ok, that's all from me, enjoy and allons-y!**

** Family: Amy**

**Amy's POV**

"Amy, are you in a cult?"

This was more or less what I had expected. What we had expected. It was funny really, or rather it would be funny if I wasn't so preoccupied with wicked heartburn, the need to pee what felt like every five minute and whether or not I was going to, yet again, tumble off the puke precipice.

We'd stepped off the TARDIS a mere ten minutes ago. Rory was determined. The Doctor was nervous. I was just eager to get to the loo as I wasn't certain if my breakfast was definitely going to stay down or not. The Doctor had neglected to tell me that morning sickness goes all the way through a Time Lord pregnancy. Or at least I told him he had neglected to tell me and then I told him his pregnant wife is always, always right.

I was a little less than six months pregnant and scan after test after scan revealed a healthy, safe progression for both of us. The Doctor, Rory and I had all agreed that once we passed the three month mark, it would be safe to tell our parents. But in the end we'd put it off and put it off until I was the size of a battleship. None of us were eager for this but eventually it was starting to feel like now or never so...why not now? We rang them and asked if we could visit my parents house around five or so for an announcement and then Rory called Brian and told him the same.

I had spent a good chunk of the morning searching through the TARDIS wardrobe for a maternity blouse that didn't make me look like a whale with very little luck.

"Perhaps it might be best if I remain in the shadows, Ponds." The Doctor had said nervously. "A sort of silent partner."

Rory and I had immediately balked.

"Absolutely not." I said. "We worked too hard to cobble this family together and you're part of it."

"Plus, we're not ashamed of you or our choice to be together or to have this baby for that matter. You only keep silent about things you regret. We don't regret you, Doctor."

"Here hold this." I said handing the Doctor a blouse so I could look at it with some distance. "What are you afraid of?" I couldn't read his mind when he didn't want me to but I could read his body language. And as muddled and complicated as it was sometimes, I could also predict his thought process. Suddenly it became clear.

"Oh, I know. You're afraid they're going to convince us this is a mistake. They'll tell us to come home, stay home. They'll say life is too dangerous with my imaginary friend and if he wants to he can visit the baby here in London in between interplanetary jaunts."

The Doctor opened his mouth to protest but said nothing. I took the shirt away from him deciding it would have to do. Yanking off what I was wearing and dropping it to the floor I pulled the new item on over my head.

"Doctor, that's not going to happen." Rory said. "And if that is what you're worried about, then why have us go alone, without your input? Wait a minute, I know why. Because you can't bear to be there when they turn our hearts from you. Love, come here."

The Doctor moved into Rory's arms. He'd shown a new level of vulnerability with us since the pregnancy. Oh the arrogance was still there, he had no problem ordering us around or scolding us for something we'd done on some distant world but when it was quiet, when the adventure was over he'd kiss us both and say, "Amy, Rory, I love you." Then we'd spend an evening lying on the bed chatting, kissing, sometimes making love and sometimes with just Rory and the Doctor talking sweetly to my belly.

"I'm just frightened of losing the three of you in a completely different way nowadays." He said into Rory's shoulder.

"Not gonna lose us, mate. Never. We're adults and our parents approval is only desired not required. If they like it, great, if they don't, tough. Ok?"

"Ok." He said with a half hearted nod.

Rory pulled him in for a kiss which the Doctor returned before adding. "Have some faith in us, ok?"

"I have a tremendous amount of faith in you both." The Doctor responded.

I turned around to face them.

"Then let us introduce you to our parents as our husband." I said.

"Alright, Ponds. But would you like rings? Should I have proposed to you with rings?"

"I'll always take another rock." I said trying to tug the blouse into place as I stared at my reflection. It's not that my parents were hypercritical of my appearance but the last time I'd seen them I'd been decidedly...un-pregnant. I just wanted to look capable and in control and happy. All of which I was.

"I don't think I can pull off the multi-ringed pirate look." Rory said with a headshake.

"I think I might enjoy wearing one. It might be rather fun to show that I belong to someone." The Doctor said.

I couldn't help but chuckle when I thought about all his protests about not being domestic.

"Well good." I piped up. "I like the idea of those flirty alien girls getting a big sign that says, Back off, he's taken!"

"OK, we'll go ring shopping for the Doctor before we see our parents. It shouldn't take too long. You're not picky are you? What am I saying...of course you are."

The Doctor looked offended but Rory continued on.

"Was this cupboard always so cramped?" He asked suddenly. "I feel like the walls are pushing in on us."

"I think the TARDIS is trying to tell us something." The Doctor grinned. "Pond are you really going to show that much cleavage in front of your parents? It's not that I mind but blimey."

Both of my boys directed their eyes toward my chest and kept them there.

"This blouse fit just last week and now I can't even get it closed. They're getting absolutely huge!" I whined. But my complaints fell on deaf ears.

"Yeah, that's a terrible shame." Rory said his hand rising to cup one of my breasts.

"A tragedy." The Doctor said placing a kiss on the swell of the other.

Rory started working on the buttons as the Doctor slipped a hand behind me to unfasten my bra.

"Boys, we're going to be late." I protested as they laid me down on the bed. Since when was there a bed in the wardrobe? They were always doing this and the TARDIS was always happy to help with the seduction. The thing was, except on rare circumstances I was always in the mood. That I couldn't blame on the hormones. I was like this with them long before I was pregnant. And right now, as usual, I just couldn't think of a good reason to turn them down.

"Time machine. We never have to be late." Rory said before taking my nipple in his mouth.

"I thought _I _ was the one who was supposed to be insatiable?" I groaned out.

"If there's sympathetic pregnancy then there's probably sympathetic horniness." The Doctor said.

"Almost certainly." Rory assured me.

"Oh alright," I said pretending as though it had taken me all this time to finally relent. "I'm sure we can just manage to fit it in. Pun intended."

After a rather energetic romp in the wardrobe we landed just outside of Tiffany. The Doctor and Rory went in to purchase a wedding band while I stayed in the TARDIS and fretted. The longer we waited the more nervous I got about this big reveal. It did help when my boys returned and the Doctor proudly showed off his new band.

"I think it looks rather smart." He said with a grin.

"It looks fantastic, Doctor." I stood and gave him a tight hug

"Now listen," Rory began. "The Doctor and I talked and came to an agreement. We're going to handle the majority of this."

"Correct."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means there's no reason to upset you and run the risk of getting you all worked up. We'll all talk, they'll listen but if it escalates, promise you'll let the Doctor and I handle it."

"And if we say you need a lie down you'll listen to us." The Doctor concluded.

"Boys-" I began but they were having none of it.

"Promise." Rory insisted.

"Alright, I promise." I sighed.

"Good." The Doctor said heading to the console and dramatically pulling a lever. "Next stop, the bustling metropolis of Leadworth...to see my in-laws."

And so we found ourselves back at my original point when my mum had just asked if I was in a cult.

When we'd arrived at the door and she'd seen my belly she welcome us all with a squeal of delight. For the first five minutes I couldn't even make out words, it was just a lot of jumping and tears and belly touching and hugs and then even more squeals. We all hustled in, were barraged with tea and then I had started to explain. The excitement kind of deflated at that point.

"No, mum, After a long time on the TARDIS Rory and I realized we had feelings for the Doctor. Feelings he returned. We pursued those feelings and after a lot of discussion and deliberation the three of us decided to get married... to one another.

"You're married to the Doctor?" She asked her brow furrowing as she tried to understand.

"Yes."

"Your imaginary friend?" My Dad asked.

"Well he's not imaginary anymore." I clapped te Doctor on the shoulder. "See, very much real. You know that mum, you danced with him at our wedding. My _first_ wedding."

"You had another wedding? And we weren't invited?"

I thought back to the three of us sitting naked on our bed exchanging our vows still a little sweaty and flushed from several sessions of group sex.

"You know Mum, it wasn't really that kind of wedding."

"Amy, I don't understand." She pressed. "What about Rory?"

"Um, Rory still very much here, still very much involved. Still quite married, thank you." My first husband piped up.

"It's simple, Mum. I'm married to both Rory and The Doctor who we may start to refer to as John when we're here in London, just to make things simpler."

"That's me, John Smith." The Doctor said finally uttering his first words.

"So, you're married to my daughter?" My Dad said his face growing red.

"Um, yes." The Doctor responded readjusting his bowtie.

"And you're buggering him too?"

"Dad!" I shouted while Rory put a hand over his face.

"Well, not to put too fine a point on it but, yes. He and I are married as well." The Doctor supplied.

"Ok could we try to keep buggering out of it, Dad?" I pleaded.

"Amy, listen to your father, now. You're very young and it's more than likely you were talked into this by one or both of these boys." She said giving Rory and the Doctor a withering look.

"Augustus, lets not get ahead of ourselves now. I don't believe my son or the Doctor would-" Brian tried to interject but my parents had a very Scottish way of cutting people off.

"Your mothers right, Amy. Maybe you and Rory should move back here for awhile, clear you heads. Get away from your..." He glanced at the Doctor as he searched for the word. "_friend_."

I was sitting in between my two boys and I felt the Doctor shrink a little away from us. This must have been his worst nightmare, that we would fold under the assault from our parents.

But that wasn't even close to happening.

I grabbed the Doctors left hand and pulled it forward, yanking him along with it.

"You see this. This is a wedding band and he has it and he wears it because we belong to each other and that isn't changing anytime soon."

"Amy, don't get yourself worked up, ok." Rory said putting a hand on my knee.

"I'm fine. And the idea that you think either of these two could talk me into anything is laughable. If you want to know the truth-"

"Amy, darling, calm down, you know it's not good for you." The Doctor said but I pressed onward."

'-I'm the one who talked them both into even giving this entire relationship a shot." I said with a satisfied arm cross.

"Now, that isn't exactly true." Rory said. He always thought I pushed things too far but I hadn't even started yet.

"Oh it is true, if I had waited for the two of you to get the ball rolling we'd still be trading furtive glances in the console room."

"Amy!" My mother said in her shocked voice.

"Mum, I'm not a little girl anymore. I'm an adult, a grown woman, I'm married now, twice over and I've got a baby on the way. You're going to have to respect that I can make my own decisions and I've made my choices and I'm very, very happy. My boys and I are happy."

"Which brings me to my next question, whose baby is it?" My Dad asked gruffly.

"It's both of theirs." I answered.

"That's impossible, Amy, you're talking nonsense. Rory, you're a nurse, tell her that's impossible." My mother said dismissively.

"Actually, Tabetha it's not impossible, it's even happening right now without any alien intervention. With a bit of gene splicing and stem cell application two biological fathers for one offspring can occur. Right now it's only in mice but-"

"So this child will be part...whatever he is." My father asked.

"He's a Timelord, Dad and yes the baby will be human plus human plus Timelord."

I was getting frustrated, what on Earth was so difficult to understand. Truth be told I was disappointed in them. It wasn't just that they weren't picking this up fast enough it's that they weren't trying and they were insulting all of us in the process.

"How exactly are you all sitting there so calmly?" My Mum asked and I let out an exhausted sigh.

"Humans..." I muttered disdainfully under my breath. Both Rory and the Doctor looked surprised and then chuckled.

"Now you know how _I _ feel." My second husband said with a grin.

Mid laugh my stomach suddenly made a lurching sound and I started to struggle to my feet. Rory and the Doctor stood as well, concerned hands at my elbows.

"Darling...?" The Doctor asked with concern.

Sure, I griped at them every now and then but the truth is they'd been incredible these past few months. Sometimes I was just grumpy and nauseous...like now. But truly, my poncho boys were lovely.

"Sorry...I'm ok, really." Despite feeling suddenly very, very puke-y, I gave them each a brief kiss to make a point to our parents. "But, I'm off to the loo. Been doing that a lot lately. Boys..." I said addressing them. "Keep, talking." The Doctors hand dropped protectively to my belly for a second as Rory kissed my cheek. I then turned to my parents.

"Please, just listen to them, Mum, Dad, Brian. Just listen."

I dashed away, feeling guilty for leaving them but they'd told me in no uncertain terms that if I needed to go they would and could handle everything. I hoped they were right.

**Rory's POV**

As we sat back down I put my hand on the Doctor's knee and gave it a squeeze

"Rory?" my Dad asked. "This is the first I'm hearing of you liking blokes. Not that the Doctor isn't a fine young man it's just...this is all hitting me a bit hard."

"Agreed, so you're just going to...what...have a man about the house?" Augustus asked.

"Not a man about the house, a husband." I said firmly and I put my arm around the Doctor to make things crystal clear. He seemed relieved at the contact. "My husband and Amy's husband. We're polygamous. Not in a creepy, cult way. Dad, I know it's a surprise, it surprised me too. But what matters is that we're happy and we're together and you're going to be grandparents."

"Yes, grandparents to what?" Amy's mum moaned and I felt the Doctor stiffen at my side. "What's it going to have? Three heads and tentacles and purple skin."

"And what would be wrong with that?" The Doctor snapped. "I know countless, perfectly lovely species with a purple epidermis, tentacles and multiple heads. You humans can be so prejudiced sometimes. Do you think we would love our child any less were it not as aesthetically pleasing as a hairless ape no more than a few millennia out of the trees? The idea that you are somehow the pinnacle of evolution physically or otherwise would be laughable were it not so repulsively arrogant. There are species out there that were it not for the protections of the Shadow Proclamation would have wiped you from this planet like insects from a windshield and turned this whole rock into a parking garage without so much as a second thought."

"Doctor...Doctor? Doctor!" I said trying to break his stream-of-consciousness seethe.

"But if you must know," he continued. "The baby will appear Time Lord in every sense. Meaning it will, to you, look human. But for the record, we came first."

"Can you calm down?" I asked him quietly.

"I'm perfectly calm, Rory. You've seen me upset. You've seen me more than upset. Does it look anything remotely like this?" He said in a rush that clearly indicated how upset he was. "And another thing, do you have any idea how remarkable, how capable, how absolutely amazing your children are? Your daughter has gotten the two of us out of more dangerous scrapes that you could possibly imagine with her wit and her courage and her unbreakable strength. She is a survivor of the highest order. In fact, Ponds, were it not for her, you wouldn't even exist at this moment, nor would I. She remembered and remade this world, so I would advise you to show her, as well as her choices, a bit more respect. And this young man here has a bravery and a loyalty that I can only dare to aspire to. His capacity for love and forgiveness is staggering, his patience humbles me nearly to the point of genuflection. They are my betters in every sense of the word. For you to doubt them and question them the way you are is just...well it's ignorant and wrong. You may run me through the ringer all you like, I expected it. Perhaps I even deserve it, but I won't tolerate such treatment of my husband or my wife, especially when she is valiantly carrying our child."

Amy's parents seemed quite affronted and I was only aware of my Dad getting to his feet out of the corner of my eye.

"Doctor?" he asked.

My husband sighed and rose as well, a slight grimace on his face as if he expected Dad to punch him. Oh, God, please tell me my Dad wasn't going to punch him.

"Yes, Brian?"

And then I watched as my Dad drew the Doctor in for a hug.

"You brought them back, safe and sound, just like you promised. In fact you've always kept your word. So, if this is the decision my son has made then I can only congratulate him on his good taste. Welcome to the family, Doctor."

The tension faded from the Doctor's body as he accepted the hug with surprise.

"Th-thank you, Brian. Thanks."

"I need some tea." Amy's mother exclaimed.

"I need a drink." Her Dad muttered

"When is she due?" My Dad asked.

"About 5 1/2 months from now." The Doctor said unable to keep the smile from his face. "We're very excited."

"Five months, she looks at least six or seven months now." Tabetha interjected.

"She is. Gestation for a Timelord is around 10 1/2 to 11 months." The Doctor said reclaiming his seat next to me.

"Rory, is this safe for Amy?"

"Tabetha, of course. We wouldn't put Amy in danger."

"I know you wouldn't." Amy's mother said bittingly.

"The mothers, it's _always _ the mothers who don't like me." The Doctor mumbled to himself.

"Doctor, would you do me a favor and go check on Amy. I think we should make certain that's she's ok."

It was becoming clear I was the most level headed of the three of us. My husband was understandably volatile, our wife was battling her own anger and morning sickness so it just left me. I didn't enjoy seeing either of them upset but I felt capable of handling this on my own.

"I don't think it's fair to leave you-" The Doctor protested.

"I'll be fine, love." I said. Casually I tilted his chin and gave him a quick kiss. The Doctors eyes brightened and warmed at the gesture. "I love you."

"I love you." He said softly before rising.

We all watched him leave and I turned to face Amy's parents.

"Now, I'm speaking for all of us. Amy and I desperately wanted children but after two miscarriages, well, it didn't look like it was in the cards."

"Two miscarriages?" Tabetha asked in surprise. "I had no idea, she didn't tell us."

"Yeah, we wanted to keep it private. The loss..." I felt my throat closing up as I remembered those days, the tears, the anguish, the feeling that we might never have a family of our own. We loved River but you can't parent a grown woman. We thought, perhaps we had missed our chance and in all honesty we'd given up. "The loss was a lot to bear, especially for Amy. What you may never understand is how much the Doctor meant to us, even in those early days. He was our best friend. He was the only one who could take us away from some of the trauma we were mired in. He loved us and we loved him. Over time that love grew into something none of us expected. But...we welcome it and everything that comes along with it. I can't recall when I've ever seen Amy so happy. She excited, she's energetic, she's healthy and she is so ready to be a mum." I almost added the word 'again' and stopped myself just in time.

"Rory, we like you." Augustus began. "We always have, but this Doctor, what little we know about him makes us very, very worried."

"Perhaps I can fill in some gaps for you." My Dad began and I absolutely loved him for it. "I know the Doctor. Not as well as the kids do but I've spent time with him. Even traveled with him a bit. I trust him. I've never found him to be anything but an honorable man who would protect our children and our grandchild with his life."

I couldn't help but beam, he'd come a long way that Dad of mine. I gave him a grin which he returned. His little speech may have even done the trick.

"We might just need a little time with this, Rory." Augustus began grudgingly. "It is a bit of a shock."

"We understand, that's why we wanted to give you several months to come to terms with everything."

A lot of the tension seemed to vanish from the room as we all took breathed a sigh of relief.

"I think they're lucky to have you, they're both rather... fiery." Tabetha stated.

"Yeah..." I said with a smile. "You have no idea."

**Amy's POV**

It was nice to be back in my old house. Ever since the Doctor had returned it was brighter, a happier place to be for me. The memories of Prisoner Zero and all those years alone had been not so much erased but replaced, written over and substituted with warm and happy recollections of growing up. After suffering through some ugliness in the loo I decided to visit my old room. My parents had kept it much the same and I looked over some of my old drawings before picking up my old Doctor doll. I had spent hours trying to craft him perfectly from memory. His torn shirt and pants, his disheveled hair, the color of his eyes, his smile. I wanted it to be perfect and when I finished it I took it to bed with me every night. I had the urge to do just that right now and laying down in my childhood bed I held it near and closed my eyes.

I was pretty sure I'd heard raised voices earlier and I wondered how my husbands were doing. I still felt guilty for leaving them alone but my goodness I was suddenly so tired. This had taken more out of me than I thought it might. I wasn't sure how long I'd been up there or just when I'd drifted off to sleep but the next thing I knew the Doctor was there.

"How long has it been since I've been in your bedroom, Pond?

I stretched and opened my eyes to see him sitting on the edge of the bed smiling down at me.

"Quite a few years if I'm not mistaken. But the last time we were here together I tried to seduce you."

He started lovingly stroking my hair.

"Oh is that what all that awkward groping was about? Really, I couldn't figure it out or the life of me. Never seen someone quite so _bad _ at it before."" He teased.

"Really? Awkward, was it? Because I'm pretty sure I felt you responding to quite a few of those kisses, Mister. Not to mention when you yanked me into the TARDIS, I'm fairly sure I felt your _other _ sonic screwdriver if you know what I mean."

He blushed. After everything we'd been through together my husband blushed and I loved him even more for it.

"I didn't know you felt that. I was trying very hard to keep my pelvis away from you."

"_Very _ hard, indeed."

We laughed for a bit but then his face grew serious.

"You alright, love?"

"Fine. I just wish things could have gone easier with my parents, I could hear you guys talking downstairs."

"Things went fine. Brian actually hugged me."

"What about my dad?"

"I think hugs from him may be awhile off." He admitted.

"They'll come around. They'll have to. Lay down with me, baby."

He obliged and I curled into him, face to face.

"Rory asked for some time to explain things to them by himself. They respect Rory, they love him. They don't really know me and they'll always think of you as a little girl. I didn't want to leave him but he insisted that I go to find you, to make sure you two are ok."

"We're fine. A little tired, a little rundown, a little jittery over all."

He frowned and kissed my nose.

"I'd rather not have put you through all of this. But I realise it's important for you to let your parents know."

"Yes, it is. I want them to know that I'm incredibly lucky and happily in love with two men."

"I love you too, Amy."

"Did you get angry?"

"Yes, I suppose I did. Your mum intimated that out child might wind up with purple skin. As though there'd be something wrong with that. On top of that she was questioning your judgement."

"Yeah, she can be like that sometimes. But, assume the situation was reversed. How excited would your parents be that you were married to two human apes who only use ten percent of the brain power and that's on a good day and can't even regenerate or understand the most basic principles of quantum mechanics? Come on, love, I know this is probably just a step away from bestiality for you."

"Amy, don't say that." A look of distaste moved across his features.

"But it's a little true, isn't it?"

He sighed heavily.

"We're dealing in theoretics here but yes, I suppose my parents would be less than pleased."

"Then go easy on my Mum and Dad. They haven't seen all the wonderful things you've shown me, this is all still new to them. And trust me if anyone needs to set them straight I'm more than happy to jump in."

"Rory and I don't want you upsetting yourself."

"I won't break, Doctor."

"You keep saying that but I know just how breakable you both are. You're both so fragile."

"What are you going to do when there's legitimately three of us?"

"I imagine I'll be a basketcase. It's been a long while since I've been in charge of an infant."

"You'll do fine. We'll all do fine. We're ready for this."

"You know, we're approaching time for us to shutter the TARDIS and move to London."

I groaned and rubbed my face. This is what I was dreading. The idea of being trapped on Earth in one small bedroom for a month or more was horrifying.

"That's when you strap me to the bed isn't it?" I complained.

"No the strapping you to the bed will be much more fun and we'll save that for after the baby is born."

"Cheeky and you know what I mean. You're putting me on bedrest aren't you?"

"It's necessary, dearheart."

"I know it's just...I'm gonna go crazy."

"Rory and I will be with you the whole time making sure you're cared for and entertained and safe and happy. I swear it."

We fell into a relaxed silence and he took the doll in his likeness from my hand and examined it.

"Is this supposed to be me?" He asked.

"Of course it's you. It's one of my prized possessions."

"Where exactly are these cartoons I once heard about? I'd love to see what adventures you had me getting up to." He grinned.

"I'll show them to you some other time. I promise. Doctor...?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I've been having nightmares about labor...and other things." I said.

"I know." He said quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"I've seen them, love. I've even been drawn into them once or twice."

"Oh, Doctor, I'm sorry."

He smiled at me and tapped me lightly on the nose.

"No need to apologize, dear. When I get pulled in I know where I am and then I just have to find you and help you out."

I thought about some darker nightmares I'd been having lately. Dreams of being trapped, lost, drowning, struggling. Dreams of having lost the Doctor or Rory or the baby.

"They're so vivid." I said with a shiver and he embraced me tightly.

"I know. It's natural for Timelord and human mothers alike. It's just, as usual, the combination makes for a more potent experience for you. When you find yourself there and it's unfamiliar and you're afraid just call for me. I'll come. I swear to you, I'll hear you and I'll come running."

That thought was an immense comfort to me. I immediately wanted to return the favor.

"If you ever have nightmares you can call for Rory and I too. We'll come running."

His features darkened for a moment.

"No, I would never do that. I would never call for your help like that. In fact Amy, if you ever hear me, or what sounds like me I want you to run in the opposite direction."

I furrowed my brow and propped up to look at him.

"That's crazy. What do you mean? I'd never run from you if you needed help, even in a dream."

"Pond my mind, in comparison to yours is a labyrinth. It's dark and twisted and as expansive as the TARDIS. The places I allow you in when we're chatting or relaxing or making love are safe areas. Places I've tidied up for you both, demon free. I can't make that guarantee for other areas. You could get lost in my head and that would be...horrible. Promise me you'll never come searching for me there."

"I promise." I said knowing full well if he needed me, nothing could keep me away.

He brushed away the remnants of those dark thoughts and continued on.

"Now, as for fearing labor itself, I understand."

"It's going to be really painful, isn't it?"

"Yes." He said in his blunt Doctor way before amending and adding, "Possibly. "I'm looking into ways that Rory and I can help and ease it for you. But we'll be there with you, you will be able to manage it."

"I know you said not to get ahead of ourselves but would you think me crazy if I said I might want to do this again?"

He chuckled.

"In for a penny in for a pound? Contrary to our running joke I don't intend to use you and Rory to establish New Gallifrey, you know."

"I know but...it's funny because I was just thinking about how tired and rundown I feel. Not to mention how completely overwhelmed I am at the idea of being a mother but..."

"But you're considering it. Really considering it, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I think I am. Or maybe it's just the hormones talking."

I had been thinking about it. Not all my dreams had been nightmares. Sometimes I pictured the three of us surrounded by children, an indeterminate amount of boys and girls. Things like that are always murky in dreams. All I know is that we had a full what seemed to be a full TARDIS and we loved them all.

"As we all decided earlier, let's discuss it after this little one is born. But...for the record I've seen those dreams too. And I love them as well."

"Ok." I said with a nod. "We'll talk." We fell into a comfortable silence before I spoke again.

"Switching gears a bit, this is sort of a fantasy of mine. Lying in bed in the room I grew up in with the Doctor."

He brightened and gave me a slow kiss.

"Mmmm, how many perverted little dreams did you have about me in here. If these walls could talk, eh?"

"Lot's of dreams about you showing up in my garden and ravishing me. I had all these adolescent fantasies of you being my first."

"Did you? You wanted me to take your virginity?"

"Before I was with Rory, before I really noticed him, yes. God, I used to think about it all the time."

"You know...if you like, we could role play that sometime. Raggedy Man and Amelia Pond's sexual awakening." He put a warm hand on my thigh and gave me a squeeze.

"Mmm, Well I was my horniest at Sixteen."

"Nonsense, you're your horniest now. And I'm not into age play that young dear."

"That's the age of consent!" I protested.

"Creepy and far too young."

"Says the thousand year old alien. Seventeen, then."

"Eighteen." He said firmly

"How can I be your naughty school girl if you won't let me play a school girl? You're no fun." I pouted.

"I am the king of fun and _this _ could be a lot of fun. In fact I'm sure I have an appropriate outfit somewhere in the wardrobe that you could wear."

"Sounds like you'd really like to role play it!" I said giving him a quick kiss. "But it might be a little hard to play the virgin when I'm pregnant."

"Well afterwards then."

"You're really into this, aren't you?"

"Alright Pond, take your bow, you've unearthed a kink even I didn't know I had."

"I like it, we'll do it."

"I look forward to it." He said as he began to kiss my neck. "Laying you down. Asking you if you're nervous. Promising you I'll be ever so gentle. Asking you softly in your ear if you're sure? Are you sure, Amy? Are you ready for me, love?"

He crooned all of this to me and I felt my skin start to heat up.

"Doctor..." I groaned as I threaded my fingers through his hair.

"It might hurt a little at first...the first time I penetrate you...the first time you feel me inside you. But then, my Amy, I'm going to make you feel so, so good."

"Doctor, we can't have it off in my parents house." I only half complained as I dropped a hand down to his crotch. "You're already hard."

"And you are so easy to turn on these days." He chuckled.

"Well to be fair-" Rory began from the doorway. "That was really hot, perhaps not the thing to endear us all to our parents at the moment, but really hot."

He stepped inside and closed the door behind him.

"Doctor, I send you up here to retrieve her and you start a seduction, typical."

"She started it." He protested. "Telling me about her illicit longings."

"I did not!" I lied.

"Room on the bed for me?"

"Always." I gave the Doctor a playful push. "Scoot over."

He did and Rory joined us on the other side of me.

"So, how did it go?" I asked with trepidation.

"Well, my Dad is surprisingly cool with it. He's getting really liberal in his advancing age. I told him we all three loved each other. We were committed to raising a family together. I think your parents just need time."

It felt good to be pressed between my boys on the tiny bed. and I closed my eyes again just listening to them breathe.

"You would have been so proud of the Doctor." Rory said.

"Would I?"

"Oh yeah, he went off into this rousing speech about how capable and wonderful we both were and how our decisions deserved to be respected. He was amazing."

"You said all that?"

"I said what needed to be said." He said simply. "I won't have people speaking ill of those that I love. I won't have anyone hurt my family."

We all lay like that for awhile. Silent and just enjoying one anothers company. Eventually Brian's voice cut through the quiet from downstairs.

"You kids come down for lunch!" He called.

"Kids." The Doctor repeated with a drowsy smile. "I suppose that includes me, does it?"

"Of course it does." I said pushing myself up to a sitting position. "Let's go, I'm hungry."

"Half an hour ago you were nauseous." Rory protested.

"Yeah, well now I'm hungry."

I scooted off the bed and headed for the door.

"Come on slow pokes, lunch waits for now man!"

From then on things went well. Not great. Not fantastic but well. Whatever Rory had said helped to smooth things out between my parents and the Doctor. Everyone managed to be cordial to one another and all three started to adapt to the idea that they were on the cusp of being grandparents. They asked us about names and cots and whether we had everything we needed. We got lessons and cautions about the struggles and the joys of being new parents and we all listened dutifully, even the Doctor. I squeezed his hand under the table just to let him know how proud I was of him.

After that there wasn't much left to do. My Dad and Rory's Dad wanted to have a brief chat with the boys before we left and my mother pulled me into the kitchen for the same.

"How are you, love?" She asked concern in her eyes.

"Fine, Mum. You know, nothing out of the norm. Heartburn, sore back, tired feet, peeing all the time, nauseous, great skin, irritable and overall so, so happy."

"Really?" She asked.

"Really. I lucked out. Some girls are fortunate if they can find one good man. I found two."

"Rory said something about the three of you moving back to London in a few months. So, you're going to stop travelling?"

"That's right. Neither of them think it's safe to continue after then. So we'll move home, set up house and try to live normal lives for as long as...for as long as we decide to."

"Can your Dad and I come visit?" She asked tentatively and I immediately leaned forward and gave her a hug.

"Of course you can. I'd like that, we'd all like that. Are you excited, _Gran_?" I asked with a giggle."

"Terribly excited and very happy for you because this is what you want."

"This is definitely what I want, Mum."

"Amy, is he really and truly an _alien_? You're not just having us on?"

"I swear, Mum. He couldn't be less human if he tried."

"You're never home enough but while you're here I want to give you something." She disappeared into the living room for a moment before returning with a large book. "I've been keeping it and putting it together for awhile. It's a cross between a scrapbook and a family album."

We sat down at the kitchen table and I started to flip through it. In the beginning there was a picture of my Mum and Dad, so young and happy.

"I was a few weeks pregnant with you then." She said proudly. "Didn't even know it."

I smiled at her and squeezed her hand while continuing to look through. There were more pictures of she and Dad, then me as a baby, then me and Rory and Mels. I heard my mother make a sad sound as she glanced at the three of us, frozen in time, playing outside.

"Poor, sweet Mels." She said.

To explain her sudden disappearance the Doctor had helped us fabricate a story. Mels had been killed late one night in a car accident in London so we'd said. It made me sad to look at the picture too. Truth be told, Mels was gone and sometimes I missed her terribly.

Continuing on there were more photographs of all of us young, newspaper clippings and school play reviews anytime any of us had done something of note my mother had saved it and placed it here. It occurred to me then just how much my Mum loved not just me but Rory too and Mels...her first grandchild. Any achievement, any success we'd had she'd catalogued it and put it here and it went on for page after page after page. Towards the end were pictures from our wedding reception. One that I immediately loved showed Rory, me and the Doctor, all laughing and some long forgotten joke.

"The rest of the pages are blank. I just wanted to give you a good head start. Now it's your turn to fill it with pictures of your family. Every mum needs a family album."

I was touched, truly touched and I embraced her tightly, barely able to whisper a thank you.

"I'm glad we came, Mummy." I said quietly and I really truly was.

Around twenty minutes after that we were back in the TARDIS and I could swear each one of us breathed a sigh of relief.

"God, it feels good to be home." Rory said flopping down in the console room chair.

I walked over and sat in his lap while the Doctor observed us from the console.

"You aren't kidding." I said seating myself in Rory's lap. "So what did the old dad's say to the new dad's."

"Oh you know, advice on children and childbirth and how to handle you." Rory said.

"How to handle me? That's a very modern attitude." I huffed, knowing it was probably my own father who'd said it.

"Then there were the basic threats of bodily harm if we hurt you." The Doctor added.

"I'm forgetting what he said, Doctor, did he threaten to cut off our...arms, was it?"

"No, it wasn't our arms." The Doctor laughed.

"Our tongues, then?" Rory teased.

"No, I believe it was a bit, ahem, lower."

I chuckled as I leaned back against Rory and couldn't stop a yawn from slipping out.

"I think it's naptime for this one." My first husband said planting a kiss on my temple.

I opened my mouth to protest but another yawn put an end to it. I hadn't realized how much energy this had all taken out of me. All these emotions plus this little Timelord were running me through the ringer.

"Ok, ok, maybe you're right. You guys stay here. I'm going to bed for awhile." I said pushing myself up to a standing position. I bent forward and gave Rory a kiss. "Don't let me sleep too long." I said.

"Promise."

Walking over to the Doctor I kissed him as well.

"Thank you both for today."

"Anything for you, Pond."

I started to exit the console room but was stopped by a sudden and slightly painful abdominal twitch.

"Whoa." I said my eyes going wide

They were at my side immediately.

"Amy, what's wrong?" The Doctor asked taking out his screwdriver.

"What is it?" Rory questioned.

It happened again and I put my hand over the place where I figured it originated.

"No, no it's ok." I said taking a deep breath. "Put your hands here, both of you and just wait for it." Soon after I finished talking it happened again, Rory gasped and the Doctor went very still. "It's kicking, boys. The baby's kicking!"

We all three stood there, quietly, grinning, lauhging, affirming over and over and over again with, "I can feel it." and "Me too!"

I'd never had this before. Never got to experience any of these moments with Melody, never got to feel her growing and moving inside of me. It was overwhelming and after a few minutes the hormones had me happy-sobbing over both their shoulders. Or at least that's the excuse I used for being so blubbery.

I'm not sure what their excuse was.

I wanted to remember this moment and I sent Rory off to grab our camera from the bedroom. We propped it up and set it on a timer to capture the three of us...I suppose the four of us. Me and my boys, overjoyed and tearyeyed. Maybe not looking our best but looking our happiest.

I did go to bed after that, tucked in, kissed and fawned over by both of them. Laying on my side I went through just a few of the hundreds upon hundreds of pictures we'd stored on the camera. It was filled with photos from so many adventures, so many amazing sights and each of them told a story. But my favorites were always of us together, smiling, laughing, holding hands. Long before before the sex, before the marriage before the pregnancy it was the three of us. Always the three of us. To the casual observer the pictures might look disparate, a confusing mishmosh of never-were and can't-be places. But to us it was everything. It was our lives, all we've done together and all we have yet to do. This wasn't just a series of random images this was our history, our beginning, our love story.

My mother was right, every new mum needs a family album, I guess I just hadn't realized we'd already started ours long ago.


	8. Family: The Doctor

_**Sometimes the Doctor has a bad night. A really bad night. This chapter is a bit off the beaten path. Talking about the Doctor's family is complicated and he can be pretty damn cagey, so I decided to bring someone else in to sort of speak for him. Someone who knows him very well. In fact, throughout this chapter he does most of the talking. Very dialogue heavy because it's not exactly clear how much of a conversation is going on. How much scenery do you need when you're talking to yourself? **_

_**Also, according to the TARDIS wiki, Torvic was a bully that used to harass the Doctor and the Master when they were in school. The Doctor and Koschei used to hang out by the river Lethy in the forest (I'll let you imagine what they got up to there). One day Torvic came upon them, a fight ensued and Torvic started to drown Koschei. The Doctor intervened and clocked him in the head with a stone killing him. The boys were afraid and realizing what they had done they covered the body and made a funeral pyre and went home pretending none of it had ever happened. "He (The Doctor) was later confronted by Death, who insisted he become her disciple. The Doctor refused and asked for Death to take away his guilt, causing her to transfer the memory of committing the crime to the Master instead. The Doctor forgot he had ever made the deal. (AUDIO: Master)."**_

_**So that's just some backstory. This is darker than normal but it's dark for a reason. Hope you enjoy it.**_

**The Doctor: Family**

Rory called me moody once, well more than once and of course he's right. I am everything people accuse me of. I am distant, secretive, mercurial, I am moved about by my emotions at times just as easily as my beloved humans.

Before Rory and Amy and I became...a triple, I suppose one could call it, we would part company at night. They would go off to bed and I would find ways to amuse myself. No...that makes it sound far more lighthearted than it was. I would find ways to stave off the darkness. There is no light in space though the stars shimmer and glow, no time, though time was born here, there is no breeze, no wind though there are instances where I simply allow the TARDIS to drift on the ebb and flow of the winds. And though I have no scientific basis to stand on, there is a most definite difference between morning and night . Nighttime is where I am most alone and there is very little that I dislike more than being alone. I've always been that way, ever since I was a child. My thoughts have always assaulted me and they always find me vulnerable.

So I've tried to fill my empty hours when I can. It was at times like this that I'd dash off to pick up River or finally check my answerphone and get back to the more urgent or interesting messages. But there wasn't always something to do or rather there were often things I just couldn't bear to do alone.

Lonely nights. bad nights. Empty nights. And while Jamie slept, or Jo, or Adric or Perry or Rose or Martha or Donna or Amy and Rory...while they all slumbered I would sit, sometimes dozing, sometimes just thinking...

And that's when he would come.

The nightmare in Upper Leadworth, as Rory called it, was not the first time the Dream Lord had appeared to me, it was just the first time he had manifested fully formed. Which is why I didn't recognize him at first. Or maybe I just didn't want to.

"Congratulation, poncy, I didn't know you had it in you."

He mocked me with a round of applause. For a moment I worried about the possibility of him waking up Amy and Rory until I remembered, he is all in my head.

"I _am _ your head. Or perhaps you're a figment of _my _ imagination. I mean really, who's the truthful one here? Who's more grounded in reality? Me or the git in the bow tie? Why, I'm the only honest part of you left."

He appeared as he had before, short, squat a scowling, venomous little man in a caricature of my clothes.

"Don't suppose there's a way to put this off is there? Rain check maybe?"

"I think you've been given enough passes when it comes to responsibility, don't you? So, you married, again and even went the traditional route. Galifreyan hand fastening. Aren't you old fashioned? Where are you registered? It's not too late to get a gift now is it?"

I didn't say anything and instead stood up and advanced to the console hoping if I picked a place and set off, if I just occupied my mind he might go away.

"Do you ever just sit back and marvel at how selfish you are? I do. Is it accidental or an actual goal?

"I already know this. You're not telling me anything new."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Does the old man bristle at hearing a reading of his sins. I'm under no obligation to be kind to you in case you forgot. And you can't just blow me away this time. Not a bit of psychic pollen in sight, is there? No, I'm very real and here to stay."

"I haven't done anything wrong."

By God, now there was a shameful and egregious lie, one so big I'm surprised the TARDIS didn't split in half trying to contain it.

"Really?" he said leaning towards me before blinking himself closer. "Say that again...once more, with feeling."

I pressed my lips tightly together. We did this dance, sometimes nightly and it never got easier.

"She was a child when you met her. All of seven years old. You carried her up to bed in her little coat and hat and wellies, tucked her in and even read her a story. Little Amelia Pond, she saw you as a Daddy figure or at least an older brother."

I winced. He was always saying the unsay-able.

"You destroyed her childhood and look at you now. She made you breakfast in her little red bathrobe. Fish fingers and custard for her magical, Raggedy Doctor. How sweet. But, let me ask you, isn't that weird, Doctor? To take her to bed and then _take her to bed_, if you get my meaning? Didn't you just bend her over the kitchen table last week and fuck her senseless and her about to be a mother, again. Carrying your child no less. It all seems a bit unseemly to me."

"She's an adult. A grown woman." I said weakly.

"Yes, a full grown woman as you noticed the second you got a good look at her legs in that police woman's get up. I'm surprised you were able to solve the whole Prisoner Zero nonsense with all those fantasies you had about burying your face between-"

"Stop it! Just bloody stop, alright?"

"Or what, you'll throttle me? Marriage has made you dull, hasn't it? Then there's the gooseberry, though not a gooseberry anymore is he? How very modern of you, I didn't know blokes still got your motor running. Brilliant idea though. What better way to possess Amy than to take on her baggage as well."

"I'm not engaging with you. It does no good."

"Fine. I love to talk and I love making you listen. Where was I? Oh yes, Rory, poor, sweet, stupid, Rory. He'd follow Amy anywhere, apparently as far as up your bum hole. And then as a capper, miracle of miracles you three run headlong into a bouncing bundle of a mistake. Baby makes four. You didn't even go this far with Rose. Ten had at least a scrap of dignity and propriety but you've just tossed all that to the window now, haven't you? Fucking companions, fathering children. Will River be next? That's a sticky one isn't it? What a lovely little incestuous soup you've got brewing. What's your endgame, I wonder? Want to have them all together don't you?" He asked whispering conspiratorially. "Bet you could talk them into it. You're the Doctor, they trust you."

I swung at him, my fist connected with thin air as expected.

He only laughed.

"I must give Amy kudos though for forgiving you. Considering the fact that you managed to lose her first baby. But not before getting her kidnapped. Can you fathom the things the Silence did to her? All that probing and rearranging, it must have been like a nine month rape. But then again that's what happens to people who have the misfortune of being loved by you."

"I'm so sorry, Amy." I whispered. She and I had never discussed what happened. Not really. It was a part of her that she kept completely closed off to Rory and I. Occasionally she let things slip but just as quickly she would clamp her mouth closed and demand we changed the subject. I felt a crushing guilt over what I had allowed to happen to her and of course he knew that.

"She can't hear you. But then again that's all you can do isn't it? Muck things up beyond recognition and then ask for forgiveness."

"This isn't me!" I shouted.

"Oh but it is! This is exactly you! And I should know. I know you better than anyone, I'm the only real family you have. Not them. Not those pathetic little creatures with their tiny little lives. By the time you breathe in and breathe out they'll be dust, and the universe will never have even known they existed. And this child, how clever of you to provide your own ransom for the next time you're taken hostage. What a family man you are."

"They are my family. Damn you, I'm trying. Isn't that worth something?"

"How many times do I have to tell you, you don't have a family. Except for me, that is. I'm all you have. I'm all you ever have left after you've destroyed them and you will, Doctor, you'll destroy them. Or...are you counting on them to save you? An awful burden to put on two unsuspecting primates. You are pathetic.. Or will you get a last stitch of remorse at the end? A twang of regret? But we know how that goes don't we? Do they know? Do they know how you betrayed your lover, your friend, your very best friend."

Koschei. it always came back to Koschei. Which I suppose is probably because that's where it began.

"That's the first time you shed blood, isn't it? But not the last. You told him he was your family too, didn't you? And your dearest love, isn't that what you called him? Come to think of it, isn't that what you call Amy and Rory as well? You still pat yourself on the back for that don't you. The old man is a hero!"

"He...Torvic was going to kill Koschei. He had his hand on his neck and he was...drowning him. I had to do something."

"And you did! You bested the bully as he was trying to drown your lover. Bludgeoned him to death if memory serves. Very, very noble. Except then you couldn't handle it...the guilt. You never can, so what did you do? You pawned it off like the coward you are and what was born? The Master. You created him, Doctor. And if you created him then you are just as responsible for the untold damage he set loose on this universe. His sins are yours. Your brother. Your lover. Your best friend. Your family. And what about the Time Lords, what about every life you snuffed out because you could? Time Lord Victorious? Do you remember the look on your mothers face when you sent her back into that void. Can you imagine what's its like to be trapped in the Time Lock? Every moment repeating and resetting. You know what they say, Doctor? Hell is repetition. And that's what you did, you sent them all to hell, your parents, your wife, your children, your friends. Do you know what it sounds like, Doctor? The cry of millions of Time Lords screaming as Gallifrey falls. Would you like to hear it?"

He snapped his fingers and clear as day I heard them. Scores of anguished cries some of them calling my name. I put my hands to my ears to block out the sound but it was no use.

"Oh, I know you want me to go away. Where's the ghost of Christmas Present and Future? Where's your redemption? I'm afraid that bus pulled from the depot long ago. Shall we continue the run-through or do you need a bathroom break first? I don't like stopping in the middle."

"Get on with it."

"Fair enough. If we start at the beginning we'll be here all night. Let's stick to recent history, eh? Shall we talk about, Rose. That was your chav phase, wasn't it? Theta does like to slum, doesn't he? Take a little shop girl, let her open your heart, moon over her for years all while keeping her at arms length and then lock her in a parallel universe. Oh but it's alright though, you sent her a limp, one-hearted copy of yourself, isn't she lucky?

Then there was Martha, lovely Martha. She adored you, worshiped the ground you pranced around on and you treated her like garbage. You treated her as though she wasn't fit to clean Roses boots. Had her clean _your _ boots once though didn't you. All locked away in that fob watch and poor Martha had to work as your maid. Cleaning up after disgusting, snobbish, racist lads and emptying your piss jars. Protecting your life, she was and how did you repay her? With a hug and a thanks before you continued moaning about Rose. Oh and then not long after that you had her working in a shop, to support you.

Shall we take a slight detour and talk about Jack? Remember how you left him, all alone on Satellite 5. Virtually helpless and forced to live out decades on Earth, waiting for you to grace him with your presence.

But Donna, Donna has to be my favorite. You did it, you managed to find the hub of it all, the most important woman in all of creation. You took a Chiswick temp, turned her into a Time Lord, let her see how much she could matter and then you ripped it all away."

I'd been listening to him going on and on and on and the more he talked the more ill I felt. My stomach was roiling, my head was pounding and every word he said was true. I felt paralyzed, unable to move, unable to break free of him. I was stuck and being punished just as I so richly deserved.

"Do you know what its like? To have the Time Lord ripped out of you? Wait, of course you do, but you knew what was coming. She had no idea. You reshuffled her mind, you plucked out the essentials, you raped her memories and then you put her right back into her endless rut of a life. A life going nowhere. The legacy of being one of the Doctor's dearly beloved. You know something, Doctor she was the last Time Lord that The Last Time Lord murdered."

"My friends have always been the best of me. My friends have always been my family. And as my family they have always had infinite patience with me and they have always been willing to forgive me. Even when I didn't deserve it. Especially when I didn't deserve it. I know I hurt them, I realize that but it will not happen again. Not with Amy, not with Rory."

"Oh yes, the baby changes everything doesn't it? Going to close up shop? Move into a house, do the washing up, mow the lawn, get a job. Tell me Doctor, will you age with them, stand over their graves a gray haired old man weeping until you regenerate and go off to ruin brand new lives."

I was exhausted and he was wearing me down, wearing me out. I gripped the TARDIS console for support as I felt my knees begin to give out.

"Maybe...maybe you're right...maybe all I ever bring is misery."

"Of course I'm right." And then he smiled. He always smiled. "You're a liar. Say it."

"I'm a liar." I responded with little resistance.

"You're a criminal."

"I'm a criminal."

"You're a disgusting perversion, a sick old man who wants to drown other people in his illness."

"I am..."

"You're a fugitive from a long dead planet, a planet you saw to its ruin. You're a thief of property and time. You're a scoundrel. A manipulator. A murderer. A coward. You've committed genocide, matricide, patricide, fratricide, uxoricide, filicide...more abuses and sins than even I care to remember."

"I am a charlatan." I heard myself say listlessly. "A conman. A flea circus ring leader. I am the friendly stranger who lures and entices. I am Death. I am a god of destruction and consumption."

"You're a predator. A deviant. You are evil. Say it. Just say it, it'll make things so much better. Just say it."

"I...am...-"

"Doctor."

Amy's voice startled me. I looked up to see her standing on the steps to the landing. She had one hand on her back and the other on the railing as she made her way down the stairs. The shift in her weight had thrown her balance off a bit and she navigated her way over to us carefully. Her belly poked out from beneath a tank top and over her shorts. Her dressing gown which had likely only been loosely tied fluttered open as she approached. I looked into her face guiltily, I didn't know how long I'd been here, how much time I'd lost, how many hours I'd wasted indulgently arguing with myself.

"It's time for bed." She said simply. She reached for my hand and clasped it between her two small ones.

"And there she is, your stroppy Scottish queen. I suppose the Roman will be trailing behind her any moment. Prepared to do the honorable thing, Doctor? Why not be honest? Just tell her what a hopeless and pathetic child-man you are. Tell her she'll be better off without you. Drop her and the gooseberry off in London and leave them with the baby. It's noble, it's the right thing to do. You remember what the right thing is now, don't you? it's the opposite of every choice you've ever made."

"Love, just leave it." She said softly her eyes never leaving my face. One of her palms reached out and brushed my cheek and I drew in a sharp breath at the loving contact.'

"Oh, thinking with the little Doctor again are we. Typical. Look I'm sure she's a hell of a shag but-"

"Stop it!" I hissed through gritted teeth forgetting briefly about how confused that might make Amy.

"It's not like she can hear me, idiot."

"The hell I can't." Amy suddenly snapped and I watched as her gaze shifted from me to stare him down.

For perhaps the first time ever the Dream Lord was speechless.

"You know for a master of psychological warfare you sure do miss a few trick. TARDIS telepathy web, not to mention, even without it he and I have been hooked up to one another for ages. I heard everything and I finally got tired and decided someone had to put an end to it."

"You think you can banish me when he can't? Let me let you in a little secret, Amy, that perhaps you didn't pick up on the first time. I _am _ him. That's why you can hear me and I never, ever lie. And you, little girl, aren't important enough to him to come between us."

"Ok, now let me let you in on a little secret. You're nothing. Maybe he has a hard time seeing that now. Maybe we all have a hard time seeing how pathetically insignificant our own demons are but I see you so clearly."

Amy started to advance on him and my hand shot out to grab her wrist, to keep her back but she wrenched from my grip and continued on. "You're nothing. You're minuscule, you a tiny nagging voice that scurries off at the slightest sign of joy or happiness or truth. I've heard every word you've said tonight and if you think for one moment that he's done anything or you've said anything that would make me leave him you have another think coming."

He was shrinking away from her and as he did I felt him receding further back into my thoughts, drifting off into that merciful slumber.

"I'm going to tell you once and only once, stay away from my baby and my boys."

I watched him falter. I watched him essentially crumble under all that fire and venom that I knew so well. I watched as Amy's choice defeated the Dream Lord once again.

He turned to me and offered me a final and far less certain smile.

"I like her. We'll have to discuss her in depth...next time."

And then he was gone leaving just Amy and I alone.

The smile she offered me was warm and loving.

"Now, will you come to bed?"

I nodded, feeling embarrassed, relieved, immeasurably tired and infinitely grateful to my impossibly brave wife.

I straightened up, I had been leaning over the TARDIS console, stooped and withdrawn. I put Sexy on auto pilot and the lights dimmed around us.

Amy took my hand and docile and mute I let her lead me out of the room.

"Stop that." She said suddenly.

"Stop what?"

"Stop acting like you did anything wrong, you didn't. We all get depressed, Doctor. Your darkness is just a little more vocal than the rest of ours."

I shook my head. She was so young. So very, very young.

"Amy, you don't know-"

"Here's what I know. I know how you treat us, your family. I know how much you love and care for your other companions who are also your family. And I know that when you were facing your death every corner of the universe drew together, enough people to cast shadows on the sun, all to say they would help you. That is the mark of a not just a good man but a great man." She stopped for a moment and took my face in her hands. "The rest doesn't matter to me."

And she meant it. I shuddered as I recalled all the horrible things the Dream Lord had said to me, all that he had insinuated and revealed. All of which she must have heard.

"Let it go, my love. Easier said than done I know, but for now, for tonight, let it go. Come and lie down with me and Rory and the baby." She said gingerly touching her belly.

I had made myself a promise long ago I'd never let anyone get this close again. But I let her. I let her comfort me and heal me and damned if she wasn't able to do it.

"What did I tell you?"

"What?" I asked quietly.

"I told you that if you were ever trapped in a dream, that if there was ever a monster after you, call me and I'll come get you."

"And I told you not to." I reminded her.

"But I did anyways, and do you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because gotcha."

We made our way silently back into the bedroom and Rory sleepily asked, "Everything ok?"

"All sorted." Amy replied, turning back the blankets and beckoning me to lie down. I did so without protest and Rory instantly pulled me against him in a drowsy hug.

"You've got to stop wandering off like that. It's the middle of the night, Doctor. You're liable to get lost in your own TARDIS if you go too far."

Amy sank down in the bed next to me with a groan.

"No he won't." She said simply. "One of us will always be able to find him."

"True enough." Rory said with a yawn. "G'night, Doctor."

"Goodnight, Rory." I said.

"Goodnight, Doctor." Amy said giving me a brief kiss.

Within in moments they were both asleep. How she had handled this so easily was beyond me. She really did seem fearless.

I was awake a bit longer, still shaken by everything that had been said and unsaid, still unable to let it go.

And then I heard... something. Something I hadn't heard in ages, a flicker a whisper, the genesis of a thought. I turned to Amy, directing my gaze and my thoughts toward her womb. It was our child...reaching out. Taking those first, tentative steps at communication. It was primitive of course, not a word, no real understanding, just emotion, curious emotion, raw and real.

_Hello, love. How goes it in there? Very anxious to meet you. I'm one of your dads. Everything is alright, you know. Your mum is healthy and happy and you Daddy Rory is strong and capable._

It occurred to me then just how selfish I had been. Terribly selfish, acting and reenacting this awful play night after night, lifetime after lifetime. It needed to stop. I had to learn to make it stop. There were things bigger and more important than me at play nowadays.

_You rest and grow strong and take your time. Just know that the three of us will be waiting for you. No expectations. no demands, just love, my little love. _

The flicker quieted, the gentle touch that had skirted across the surface of my brain vanished and all was silent again.

I felt better. I felt suddenly grounded and I looked at my spouses, locked in their dreams and I felt as though we were all safe. As I settled down Rory's arms reflexively tightened round me. Amy, for her part, sighed softly.

I closed my eyes.

I was looking for a word, a complex word that encapsulated everything from love to trust to understanding to quarreling and fence mending and bridge building and growing and trying and trying again and again and again and nurturing and protecting and parts of a whole and a whole of parts and understanding and faith and forgiveness and forgiveness and forgiveness and forgiveness...

"Family, Doctor." Amy muttered never truly waking up. "It's called family."

Ah, yes. Yes, of course, quite right. _That_ was it.


	9. Vulnerability

**Vulnerability**

_I'm not entirely sure as to what your physical makeup will be, little one. However I believe that despite three parents being in the mix you will be one half Gallifreyan. My genetics will likely work that way, overwriting what they see fit. I know, I know, even my DNA is a bit overbearing. Arrogant, aren't I? Going from the example set by your sister, you should be able to regenerate. You may also be incredibly strong, she was when she was just a girl. She was brilliant and clever even as an infant. But she was also vulnerable, as I am, as you are, as we all are._

_You will be, in many ways, better than your human counterparts. Don't get me wrong, dear if you wish to journey amongst the stars, we would all be immensely happy for you. I'm very well traveled myself and your Mum and Daddy-Rory have logged quite a few of their own hours. But I say humans because I always find myself coming back here. I am drawn to them. The people of this planet are precious to me. They always have been and always will be. I suppose, after all these years, I can admit that I view Earth as a bit of a second home._

_You'll look human but you won't be one of them. Sometimes I imagine you'll barely even notice but other times you may find yourself keenly aware. You'll be stronger, in some instances faster, you'll be more resistant to physical damage. When injured...oh...I really don't like to imagine you being hurt...But, when injured you will heal faster, your skin is thicker, you may be able to survive in low oxygen environments, extreme heat and cold won't affect you as harshly as your human counterparts. Your senses will be stronger and far more advanced. Your brain will literally be larger than a human brain and you will be able to use every bit of it. As for lifespan you will more than likely live a very, very long time, longer than you can conceive of or understand now and that isn't even counting regenerations. You will outlive us, love. I know that is perhaps harsh to hear but it is also as it should be. Children should always outlive their parents. Always._

_You will be safe though. I've gone over nearly every variable I could imagine. My biggest fear was that something might happen to you like what happened to a very dear friend of mine. But if you're watching this then you're ok, as I knew you would be. Her name was Donna and she was...amazing. Timelord and human can come together in beautiful, lovely harmony, like it's happening inside your Mum right now. But it can also clash together violently and nearly split a person asunder in the collision. But that won't happen with you. Never with you. I would rip this universe apart, timelines and paradoxes be damned before I would let that happen._

_Look at me. Getting rather passionate, aren't I? But I was always passionate about my children and I always will be._

_But, lest you think I've described Gallifreyans as some sort of superhero race let me relieve you of that fiction. We are not. There are viruses, diseases, afflictions and plagues that could kill you stone dead in a matter of moments. Chen 7, Aralax Syndrome, Pythorlonian Degenerative Disease and hundreds upon hundreds more. There's a nerve cluster near your left shoulder and should someone hit it just right they can incapacitate you. Aspirin, for God sakes stay away from aspirin!_

_I'm not saying all this to scare you, little one, but just to make you aware of the important differences. You're not fragile but you are breakable. And in the right conditions you could shatter. I couldn't bear that._

_Your hearts are vulnerable. You can survive with just one, it's ugly and painful and you should try and get the second one restarted as soon as possible but you can live. But should something cause both of them to burn out...well there is no coming back from that._

_Finally love, your hearts are vulnerable. No, that's not your Dad going off his nutter and repeating himself. This is a different kind of vulnerability and it is just as important. That big brain of yours will often over analyze to the point that it misses the obvious. Your senses will be so acute you may overlook exactly what you need to be seeing. And your hearts, you will spend so much time ruminating over your hearts._

_You will lose them. They will stray from you. You will give them away. You will sprint after them as someone carries them off. They'll bruise. They'll shatter. They'll break. But sharing them with someone or several someones can be one of the most magical experiences you'll ever have the pleasure of experiencing. Trust me on that._

_I suppose I want you to know that it's ok that we are vulnerable. Being invincible isn't nearly as much fun as it sounds, believe me._

_Deities are nothing if not lonely. Better to be an injured mortal surrounded by friends and family than a lonely God._

_What else...? Well, always carry a banana with you, for the potassium. Oh and always carry chocolate with you, it just might cure you of an accidental poisoning especially if you forget your old Dad's aspirin warning. But don't forget my warning! And tea! Never forget about tea! A cuppa is more than for just relaxing your nerves..._


	10. Vulnerability: Rory

**This was exhausting to write, but really fun. I've had a lot of requests for Rory/Doctor kink as well as so many of you wanting me to put my money where my mouth is regarding certain mentions of light bondage. I hope you enjoy what I did here, it's kind of unfamiliar territory but I did my best. The mention of Rory not wearing pants when the Doctor first met him comes from a gif I saw on Tumblr of a scrubs wearing Arthur Darvill in a scene from the 11th Hour. It's um...revealing and bulge-y. So lemons await you! Slashy, slashy, slashy lemons! Oh and a flashback strap on session marked by italics! And we finally arrive at the chapter I teased way back when. This was a lot of fun to write like I said but it wasn't easy. I hope it's ok. I don't know if Amy's chapter will be quite as long and the Doctors might be very, very short. We'll see. Again, don't get hung up on linear time. I'm not concerned about it at this point in the story and neither should you be. These tales don't necessarily happen in the order they're written. Please excuse obvious and awful grammatical errors, I gave this a quick proofreading readthrough but I always miss things. They'll be corrected in the coming days as they jump out at me. Ok, allons-y!**

**Vulnerability: Rory**

Up until that moment I hadn't even known the Doctor could vomit.

In record speed he had bounded from the TARDIS console to the door and flinging it open he bent over and seemed to rid himself not just of breakfast but perhaps the last five meals we'd eaten. I grimaced as I walked towards him. Amy, poor thing went green and bounded in the opposite direction. For a second I didn't know who to follow, nauseous pregnant wife or puking husband. Amy made the decision for me, waving me away as she hurried towards the loo.

I got to the Doctor just as he was leaning in the doorway of the TARDIS.

He raised a hand at whoever was outside.

"Sorry about that. Lovely wedding, beautiful bride. My apologies about parking a police box in the middle of your aisle and vomiting on your flowers. I'll be going now."

I hastily pulled him back inside, muttered a sorry to the assembled guests, It really did look like a nice wedding and shut the door.

"Baby, are you ok?" There was a thin layer of sweat covering his forehead and a few chunks of his hair were stuck to the slickness.

"Mmmm." he said noncommittally as he leaned against the frame. The Doctor closed his eyes and placed a hand over his belly which I was certain I could still hear making gurgling noises.

"Come sit down." I said putting my arm around him and leading him to the nearest chair. He stopped for one second to input a coordinate so that the TARDIS made her way back to the time vortex and away from the stunned bridal party. He then unceremoniously flopped into the chair.

"No need to coddle me. I'm fine." But he didn't feel very strong in my arms.

"I didn't know you could do that."

"Do what? Vomit? Well I have a stomach, Rory." he said with some irritation. "Where's Amy?"

"Seeing you set her off. You know she's an emetophobe."

The Doctor nodded. Some people couldn't handle blood, Amy flipped out over puke, the sound, the sight, the mere concept and being nine months pregnant and battling valiantly through morning sickness didn't help.

"You should go check on our wife."

"She waved me away, I'm checking on you right now. Darling, are you sick?" I said crouching down in front of him. I put my hand to his forehead and he raised his eyes to watch me.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"You're right. I'd grab a thermometer but I don't want to leave you alone. This is a rubbish way to take a temp." I stood and pressed my lips to his temple.

"If you're trying to kiss me your aim is a bit off, my love. Not to mention you might want to wait until I'd had a moment to brush."

"You're warm." I said frowning.

"You don't even know what I normally run."

"Love, I've had your body pressed to mine enough to know how you should feel. You run cooler than humans, I'd say you're normally about 60 degrees Fahrenheit. But you feel like you may be about mid-70's at the moment. And as I said, you're warm. What's going on?"

"Nothing, Rory. Everyone is entitled to get a little space sick."

I put my hand to his cheek and he pressed his face against it making it clear that despite his irritated tone he relished the affection.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything is fine."

"What's wrong? You've been pretty subdued lately. You weren't really hungry at dinner. You didn't want to make love last night."

"I was tired." He huffed as he folded his arms. "Is our entire marriage built on sex?"

"Ok, one final time and let me warn you, if you lie to me or just dodge the question I'm putting you to bed. So help me God, I will throw you over my shoulder and put you in bed until you either tell me what is wrong or you feel better. Trust me, that's my best offer if you don't want to tell me the truth. And guess what, mate, I'm talking quarantine because you're not going to infect Amy or the baby."

"You think you're capable of quarantining me on my own ship?"

"I do and I think the TARDIS would help."

He looked worried for a moment and I knew I was onto something. I'd felt a sort of unease from the ship or at least I thought I had. An almost imperceptible change in the atmosphere.

"So, last time. What. Is. Wrong."

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked tense but brightened when Amy appeared.

"Amy, how are you feeling, dear?" he asked.

"Fine now, you know how it is. Comes and goes. What about you?"

"Right as rain."

"No he isn't. In fact something is wrong and he's going to tell us right now, aren't you Doctor."

"Roranicus Pondicus." he muttered under his breath. "Alright, fine but may I go clean up first? Would that be acceptable to you?"

The Doctor looked at me pointedly trying to glower his way into getting what he wanted.

"No, I don't think so. Because the next thing I know an alarm will go off and we'll be catapulted into something wild and dangerous and you'll be off the hook."

"You call that off the hook?"

"Alright, Doctor, if Rory is properly worried, then so am I."

Amy walked over to him and sat herself down upon his lap. Placing a hand over her belly she settled in. "There, now you're pinned by an immovable object. Speak."

The Doctor smiled and put his hand over hers.

"Are you well, love?"

"Fine. Now, talk."

"Alright. I am a little under the weather, as they say. Nothing serious."

"Viral?" I asked.

"No."

"Bacterial?"

"No, um, biological actually. Our second anniversary is coming up as you must know."

Amy smiled.

"Lucky me, I've got two blokes, both of whom remember anniversaries."

"So, that means we've the little one has only two or so months left to go. I know to you both, especially you Amy, that may seem like a very long time to wait but for me it's barely an instant. For _me_, it's going to be any day now and in light of that I think there's one piece of our puzzle left unfinished."

Amy's face grew serious and she reached for my hand.

"Do you mean...your name? Your real name?"

He nodded hastily.

"Doctor, awhile ago we told you, we both told you that if you wanted or needed to keep that to yourself you could. We won't demand it. You're the Doctor, that's your name. We feel no distance there, understand?"

"She's right, Doctor. As much as we can, we get that you have to keep your true name a secret. We would never ask you to violate that. Ever."

He smiled at both of us but his features looked a little pale, his eyes seemed tired and there was a general weariness about him.

"You are wonderful, the both of you, but I'm afraid it's out of my hands. Gallifreyan marriage was...is...not simply a legal venture, it's a physical one as well. We are bonded, the three of us. You have both altered my biology. I no longer think in terms of I, but rather we. It's not fair to keep this from you but beyond that, its not healthy for me. As I said the intensity of our bond isn't simply emotional it's an absolute truth, a biological fact. Refusing you the most intrinsic part of me, denying you my name is actually making me quite ill."

He looked embarrassed admitting that and Amy put her arm around his neck.

"I thought you'd looked a bit peaked lately. Honestly we figured it was the TimeLord equivalent of sympathetic pregnancy."

"No...and it's not just me, it's the TARDIS as well, withholding this from short term lovers is one thing, but from spouses is quite another. I'm just not built to function this way."

"But...if it's been making you sick and you knew it would, why didn't you mention it? Why didn't you tell us in the first place?" I asked.

"Because I was scared, Rory. Because I was looking, hoping for way out of it. because it's my _name_."

I reached out and put my hand on his knee.

"That's not what I meant, Doctor. Not why didn't you tell us your name. But why didn't you tell us what was bothering you, that's the secret you should have shared with us.

"Doctor," Amy began, "You don't have to explain or apologize for anything to us."

"But it is something I need to do with each of you on a one-on-one basis over consecutive nights. I know it's silly-"

"Not silly at all." Rory said quickly. "When would you like to start?"

"The sooner the better actually."

"Ok, am I right in assuming there's a bit of ceremony invoved here?"

"A bit yes. I really would like a little time by myself alone to prepare. " He admitted.

"Right. Rory, would you mind going first?" Amy asked.

"Not at all. But are you ok? We don't want to leave you alone if you aren't feeling well." I put my hand in her hair, letting it thread through the strands.

"No, I'll be ok. I'm just not..._ready _ yet. If that makes any sense. Plus I started on a few project in the nursery that I'd like to get back to."

"How about this," I began. "I make us a romantic dinner for three then-"

Both the Doctor and Amy made a face.

"Nope. No dinner. No food, again, ever." Amy said with a dramatic fold of her arms.

"I must side with Pond on this I'm afraid. Not really feeling all that hungry at the moment."

"Ok, then maybe just some soda crackers." I offered.

They seemed only slightly more agreeable to that. Sometimes it was hard being nurse to these two patients.

"Maybe we'll have a late dinner, very late but for now, I'd really like t clean up a bit and get my head on straight." The Doctor said.

Amy stood to let him get to his feet.

"Amy, we'll see you later this evening." He said. "Our bedroom will be all yours. Rory, will you meet me in another one of the TARDIS bedrooms in about an hour or so. She'll direct you."

I inhaled deeply, suddenly nervous.

"Sounds lovely. I'll see you then."

The Doctor gave a tentative smile to both of us before leaving the console room.

"Do you have any idea what to expect?" Amy asked.

"Not in the slightest."

"Fun isn't it?" She grinned.

"Oh yeah."

A little over an hour later after cleaning up a bit myself and bidding Amy goodbye for awhile I found myself outside a door I'd never seen before. I knocked tentatively and from inside the Doctor called, "Come in."

I walked in not knowing what I'd find but it was just an ordinary bedroom. Generically decorated with a spacious bed, plush looking bedding and nightstands that I was certain held everything under the sun we could possibly need. The Doctor was seated on the edge of the mattress looking a bit better than when I had last seen him but not by much. I went and sat down next to him, tilting his chin for a kiss.

"Are you sure you're up to this?" I asked him scrutinizing his tired features.

"Oh yes, I'm fine, Rory, I promise you. And once I tell you my name I'll feel markedly better. You'll see."

"So..." I began, searching for the words. "How do we do this? Is there some sort of procedure? Candles? A prayer or something."

The Doctor chuckled softly.

"No, dear, we do this any way you would like. We can lie quietly and chat and when I feel it's right I'll tell you. You can ask me questions-"

"You know you don't want to answer questions." I said with a laugh.

"You're very clever. But still it's only polite to offer."

"Well, must it be serious?"

"As I said, it can be anything we both would like."

"Ok then," I took another deep breath. I was doing that a lot lately. I exhaled slowly before I spoke. "Can we maybe explore a bit of kink? Some light bondage, maybe?"

He looked immediately interested.

"How much kink?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

The Doctor looked positively predatorial as he started to speak. "Well, I could have you in a shackle and neck collar with wrist cuff. And your cock would look so handsome in a chastity cage. Oh! Or I have a positively ancient cat o' nine tails that would make the most delicious little pink marks rise up on your skin." He mumbled all this against my neck as he kissed me and it both turned me on a terrified me. It wasn't until I heard his laughter that I realized that was his point.

"You think you're so damn funny don't you?"

"Actually yes."

"And what if I had agreed?" I challenged.

He pulled back and gazed at me, his eyes sensual, dark and frightening all at the same time. When he spoke his tone was warm but serious.

"Then I would have gone and gotten everything I mention. I would have had you bound and gagged on all fours, your cock and balls locked tightly in the cage I mentioned so you would have no trouble remembering _just who it is you belong to_. Then I would have flogged you, gently, until you begged me to stop and just fuck you already. I would have helped you discover, my dear Rory, that there is exquisite pleasure to be found in pain."

My heart was beating wildly and erratically in my chest as I imagined myself the way he was picturing me at this moment.

"Ummm...maybe we could try some lighter bondage."

"Of course, happy to!" He said brightly.

"You're a right kinky bastard, aren't you?"

"Oh, Rory, you have no idea. So you trust me, right?"

"Of course I trust you."

"Good. Then tell me what you'd like."

"You keep saying that but shouldn't tonight be about you?"

"No night is solely about me or you or Amy. They're all about all of _us_. Now, what would you like?"

When we had moved from sitting to lying on the bed I hand't noticed and I really didn't care. All I knew is that he was on top of my and I was already hard.

"I think I'd like you to master me."

"Like Master and Slave."

"Not quite that _severe_. Lighter."

"You just want me to be...commanding." He clarified.

"Yes." I breathed.

"The way I have been with Amy?"

"Yes."

"A bit detached?"

"Yes."

"Do you want me to spank you? I can, you know. I'll paddle that delicious bottom of yours until my hand gets tired. Until you spurt thick and hard against my leg."

How did he do that? How did he make everything sound so incredibly hot?

"Would you like that, my love?"

He suddenly flipped us over. He was really good at that. I was now on top of him and I felt his hand creep down to my arse.

"A test swat maybe?" He asked.

"Maybe, just one."

The Doctor loosened my trousers and pulled both them and my pants down. He then drew back his hand and brought it down sharply.

I gasped. My brain couldn't quite process how good it felt.

"Again, baby, again."

He gave me another spank and I started to grind my pelvis against his.

"I never knew I wanted this."

"That's one of the best things about being married. We still have so much to discover about one another. I just discovered both Ponds love a good paddle, eh? Shall we proceed?"

"I...I'm not sure." I felt greedy and unwilling to settle on the first thing he offered me.

"Ok, if you're not sure then we'll save that possibility for another time. Now, we won't do anything you're uncomfortable with, nothing that makes you nervous or frightened. You are completely and absolutely safe with me."

We were kissing between his words, soft probing kisses that were working me up into a frenzy. I pulled him closer and he seemed in no hurry to change positions or move on.

"Doctor..."

"We can start whenever you like. Just give the word."

"I just...I want to be vulnerable with you. Does that make sense?"

"Absolute sense."

"It's not an easy place for me to put myself. With anybody, but especially with you. But I really, really want to."

"I understand." He said and when I looked into his eyes I felt that he really and truly did.

"One more kiss and I'm ready."

The Doctor smiled and obliged we snogged a bit longer and then he pulled back.

"Shall we?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Alright then." His demeanor changed immediately. He dropped his arms and removed his hands fom my body. "I want you to disrobe. Quickly and quietly, in fact I don't want you to utter a word. Do I make myself clear?"

I nodded and got to my knees and he slipped off of the bed. Grabbing a nearby chair, which I could have sworn wasn't there initially he pulled it to the foot of the bed and took a seat. I started to undress stripping down until I was completely naked. Putting my clothes to the side I stood down and waited for further instructions.

"Your body is stunning, Rory."

I nodded and smiled, unsure as to whether or not I was allowed to speak.

"You're already erect." He said approvingly. "Now, I want you to lay back down on the bed and masturbate for me, alright? You can answer."

"Alright, Doctor."

I laid down upon the bed and let my legs fall open. His gaze on me was intense and I admit, I felt just what I'd asked him for, vulnerable.

"Stroke yourself, love." He said sitting back and crossing his legs. "Let me watch you."

I wrapped my hand around my cock and started working it up and down. The groan was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

"Quiet down. Focus on the feeling. Think about the pressure building up in your balls. Think about how your abs tense and release. Think about the skill your hand exerts . Think about how no one quite knows how to get you off like _you_. Do you want to say something, Rory?"

"Should I...can I come?" I asked.

"I'll let you know. Keep going."

I did as he requested, quickening my pace and letting my body relax a bit more against the propped up pillows. I wanted him to touch me, I wanted his hands or his mouth or his body on me. And yet I wasn't unsatisfied as the weight of his eyes upon me, his aloof interest was so much more erotic than I could have imagined.

"Doctor..."

He stood up suddenly and began to crawl towards me on the bed.

"I'm here, dear." He said softly. "Let me handle you."

The Doctor settled on the bed between my legs and without preamble his mouth descended on my cock. I gasped, wholly unprepared as he enveloped me. I put my hand in his hair and without any encouragement I felt him deepthroat me.

"Holy fuck, Doctor. I can't...I can't...I..."

I came so hard into his mouth and it took all my effort to not shoot my hips off the bed. I was grunting and groaning loudly as he kept his lips tightly sealed around me. I thumped my fist into the mattress my other hands still moving through his thick head of hair. His attention was overwhelming and I still found myself spasming into his mouth, little tremors shaking my body. It was nearing the point of discomfort and I was just about to ask him to stop when he pulled back.

I lay there, gasping beneath him, closing my eyes and trying to settle my heartbeat. I barely noticed as he secured something around the base of my penis and balls.

"What's that?" I asked.

"No worries, Rory. I'll explain. Mmmm, you taste lovely by the way."

After placing a lone kiss to the tip of my penis he stood, removed his jacket, bow tie and shirt and seated himself in the chair facing the bed.

"What now?" I asked and suddenly felt a small jolt of electricity shoot through my genitals before winding it's way around my body. "Shit!"

"That was a warning. You won't get another." The Doctor said calmly. "From this moment on you don't speak unless I give you express permission to do so, is that understood. You may answer me with an affirmative nod of your head."

He was serious, deadly serious and I was already impossibly turned on.

I nodded quickly.

"Good boy. What I have fitted you with at the moment is called a triple cock ring. An ordinary ring fits around the base of your penis to restrict blood flow. This, as you've no doubt noticed also fits around your testicles. You understand, I'm sure, that prior to orgasm your knackers draw up sharply towards your body, this disallows that action. I have a remote control here in my hand. I am in charge of not only the tightness of the triple ring but also I have the ability through this to administer a very slight shock as you just recently felt. It's _not _ electricity, it's concentrated TARDIS energy. And even if it was electricity it's not enough to injure you. I would never, ever do that. It's really only enough to sting and I will only use it as a corrective measure. In truth, you're in charge of it, Rory. If you do what I ask of you, you won't feel it again. Remember how curious you were about orgasm denial? Well, now is your chance to have that curiosity sated. Now, you may ask three questions. Choose them wisely and once you've finished I don't want to hear your voice again, is that clear?"

I nodded again.

"Now, ask."

"Are you not going to restrain me?"

"Restraints are for amateurs, Rory. Remember our first night together? Roman and slave? You didn't need restraints to keep me in line. Just a firm voice, a firm hand, a firm cock. You'll discover soon enough what pleases me and what displeases me and you'll learn where I'll allow your hands and where I won't."

I digested this information while searching his face. It didn't betray anything further. He was cooly patient, waiting for my next two questions.

"Can we have a safe word?" I said trying to force down my nerves and keep them the tremor from my voice.

"Of course, love. You really shouldn't have wasted a question on that but too late now. What would you like the safeword to be?"

"Colosseum." I blurted, though I wasn't sure why.

"As you wish. Colosseum. If I hear that word I will stop immediately, release you and we will proceed as normal. Last question."

I searched my brain, wanting to make certain I had covered every worry.

"Are you going to fuck me later?"

He quirked a smile.

"Normally I would I would tell you you'll have to earn that. But just this once I will give you a guarantee. Yes, Rory, I will fuck you later and then I will tell you my name. You've run out of questions which means it's time to begin. Now, I'm going to tell you a story. A true story. But before I do, understand this. You have on your body essentially an instrument meant to subdue you and give enjoyment to us both. This is a journey to help you discover all the sub layers of pleasure that lie within slight pain and denial. So, enjoy yourself. Now, let's begin. I was showering, alone, this was a few months back, mind you and I was letting my mind wander. Thinking about you, actually. Would you like to know what was running through my head?"

I nodded enthusiastically.

"I was thinking about your body against mine. Your chest, the way your pecs feel pressed against me. The way we jostle for power in bed. The way you bite into my neck when we make love. The way your muscles flex when we fuck."

I let out a low moan and was instantly punished with a jolt to my cock. The ring tightened around me and I felt the blood and pressure in my penis. I'd never worn a cock ring before, it was on my sexual bucket list though. Suppose after tonight I could cross it off.

"It's rude to interrupt someone when they're speaking. But you're new at this so I'll proceed. If I quiet my mind and imagine, I can feel you inside me. That stiff cock of yours."

I watched as the Doctor let his hand drop down to squeeze the outline of his rigid erection through his trousers.

"Sometimes, Rory I just _need _ to feel you inside me, I just want you to kick my legs apart, bend me over a table and fuck me as hard and as thoroughly as you can. That's what I was thinking in the shower. I was imagining your hard, thick cock deep inside me and it was making me ravenously horny. So I started to stroke myself. I wrapped my hand around my cock and- Well why don't I just show you."

With great aplomb he made a show of unzipping his trousers, slowly, too slowly for my liking, he removed his cock from its confines. He apparently hadn't bothered with pants today and the thought of that made me salivate. He started a slow, graceful, motion of his wrist. He was hard, solid and deliciously thick and I had flashes of putting my legs on his shoulders while he fucked me into oblivion.

"So, as I said I was imagining you stepping into the shower. I was imagining that you stepped into the shower and caught me masturbating. You teased me, gently, about being so horny and we laughed. You put your arm about my waist and pull me back against you. I could feel your cock pressing, hard and eager against me. You whisper in my ear, Let me take care of you, baby. Let me work that big cock of yours."

I started to squirm as I let myself sink into his fantasy. I allowed one of my hands creep up to my chest, running it across my nipples. I wasn't punished with a shock so that was apparently allowed. I was erect again, hard, pulsings and little pearled drops of precum were dribbling down the head of my cock. I wanted to touch myself so badly but I didn't dare.

"In my fantasy, I can feel you behind me. You take my cock in your hand and you start to jerk me off. Then you whisper in my ear, 'I want to make you come so hard, I want to watch you spurt against the shower wall and see it drip down. I want to feel you hot and hard in my hand. I want to exhaust you. I want to leave you a trembling, pliable, neat little mess before I fuck you.' That rather describes how I've got you now, doesn't it?"

I nodded and keeping eye contact with him I let my fingers brush against my cock. I'd been dropping my hand down slowly, inching it ever closer. The second my fingertips touched my erection I got another jolt.

"Naughty, naughty boy." He said with a half of a smile. "Did that hurt? You may answer."

"Yes...yeah it hurt."

"Do you want me to stop. Just one word is all it takes. Flavian Amphitheater."

"No." I said through gritted teeth. I would not say Colosseum. At least not yet.

"No." He repeated. "Then I'll continue on with my story. As I was standing there I pleasuring myself, thinking about you, I heard the bathroom door creak open. I called your name, thinking I had conjured up my fantasy into reality. But it wasn't you. It was Amy."

_"Mind if I join you?"_ She asked.

_"Of course not."_

_"Looks like you've got your hands full. No...no don't turn around."_

"I was instantly intrigued. I knew she had something planned so I waited calmly as she stepped into the shower."

_"The TARDIS told me you were in here. It's nice to have another girl aboard. How we love to gossip."_

"I then felt goose-pimples start to rise up all over my skin. What were my girls up to?"

"_As I said, she told me you were in here and she also told me what you were up to. She suggested I join you._"

"I felt her press against me from behind, just her upper body at first. Her breasts brushed lightly against my back and she started to kiss my shoulder. Her hand slipped down my chest, slowly, winding its way until she came to my cock. Are you enjoying my story, Rory?"

I nodded vigorously. He'd released the pressure on the cock ring even more and I was furiously rubbing my inner thighs and wiggling on the bed dying for him to touch me. What he'd said earlier now made so much sense. Restraints were for amateurs.

"Good, glad it meets with your approval. Anyway, she drops her hand to my cock, bats my hand away and starts to stroke me."

As he speaks I keep my eyes riveted to him, he's talking so casually as he masturbates in front of me. I want to leap off the bed, call it all off and just ride him in that chair but I also want to hear the rest of the story. I've started to sweat, I can feel beads of perspiration streaking down my forehead and I hope it doesn't get into my eyes.

_"What else did she tell you?"_

"_She told me what you need..._" She said and then I felt her press the rest of her body against me. I felt the slight curve of her belly, she wasn't very far along at this point and then I felt something else."

_"Amy?"_

_"She also told me what you want and then she gave it to me."_

"I felt the toy press against my cheek, firm. As you well know we'd only talked about strap on's in passing. Just something we might all like to try someday. But here she was, with the help of the TARDIS and she was determined. I felt her other hand squeeze my bottom.

"_You've got such a nice arse, Doctor. So tight and firm._"

"I chuckled, nervously if you can believe it. Amy is a bit intimidating sometimes, even to me."

The Doctor and I shared a smile and I nodded with a knowing eyebrow raise.

"_I want to fuck you, Doctor._"

_"And I really want you to.."_

_"Lean forward and brace yourself against the wall."_

"I did as she asked glancing back over my shoulder. She urged me to spread my legs and I obliged."

_"It's self lubricating, Doctor, so you don't have to worry."_

_"I'm not worried. I trust you, love."_

"I felt the toy penetrate me and-" He paused and it was absolute agony.

"And _what_, Doctor!?" I demanded. I braced for another shock but it didn't come. Instead he just gave me an amused smile.

"I was just about to compliment you on you well behaved you were. I thought you deserved a treat. Should I revise my opinion?"

"No, please, Doctor. I'll be good. I promise, I promise." I begged desperately.

"What would you like?"

"Touch me. Please, Doctor, touch me." I pleaded with him openly, not in the least bit ashamed. "Or let me touch you. Can I taste you? You're so hard. Please? Please?"

I saw his eyes go sensually dark at my words and he was off the chair in a flash and stepping out of his trousers.

"Shall I let you come, Rory?" He asked as he settled down onto the bed. "You may answer me."

"Yes, please."

"Alright, let's get you out of this, shall we?"

He lay down next to me, head to foot.

"Oh, darling," he cooed. "You're so hard and strained. Look how I've made you wait."

I felt him unfasten the triple crown first and the relief I experienced was impossible to put into words.

"May I suck you, Doctor."

"If you like." He said amicably and I whimpered gratefully before putting my mouth on him.

"My poor, Rory...so hard, so ready and willing to come. Shall I get you off dear?"

Despite the calm of his words his voice was strained and I knew I was doing him in a bit myself. I gave him a muffled "Mmmhmm" and he shuddered a little as the vibrations moved through him.

He didn't get more than a handful of licks on my cock before I started to come.

"I'm sorry, Doctor...I-"

I orgasmed in his mouth, harder, stronger and more copious than I can remember doing in recent memory.

"I'm sorry, love, I'm sorry..." I breathed out.

The Doctor made his mouth even softer and wetter offering me a few more licks as I trembled beneath him.

"No reason at all to apologize, darling. I'm very proud of how you've held up so far. But I need you to put your mouth back on me."

"Gladly." I felt I could swallow him whole and I did my best to accomplish just that.

The Doctor groaned and threw his head back while still loosely stroking my cock. I felt drained and a little exhausted but so incredibly relieved to have finally been allowed to come.

"Suck me, Rory, suck me."

He was aching for it, aching for me and I put a two hands on his bottom holding him close. He moaned but just as quickly as I felt him start to sink into the pleasure he spoke.

"Slow down, baby. Taper it off a bit. I don't want to come yet."

I groaned irritably but did as he asked, relaxing my lips and pulling back. As I did so I felt him fasten something new to my cock. Before I could ask he answered me.

"This, my love is a vibrator. No, vibrator is a bit too crude. It's more of a pulsator. Let me demonstrate."

Using a different remote he turned the toy on and the pulsing made my eyes roll back into my head.

"Fuuuuuucck." There were beads on the inside of the clear, rubber device which ran from the base of my penis to the tip. They undulated in a blissful rhythm and I rolled over onto my back and clawed at the bedsheets.

"Good boy." He said, rising from the bed again and reseating himself in the chair. "Now, back to my story. And I'd like a bit of silence please."

I nodded through firmly pressed lips.

"Now, where was I...Oh, I felt the toy penetrate me. It slipped in so easily. It was bigger than I had figured but I shouldn't have been surprised, the TARDIS knows I like them well sized. I groaned and I heard Amy groan as well."

_"Does it feel good to you to, love?" _I asked her.

_"Yeah, she put in a little vibrating egg and every time I thrust into you like this...ahh...it gives me a delicious little buzz."_

_"The TARDIS does take care of us doesn't she?"_

"Amy placed her hands on my hips and started a nice, hard rhythm. Would you like to feel the rhythm?"

I nodded again, sitting up a little on the bed so I could keep eye contact with him and get a better view of the apparatus connected to me. He flipped a switch and the pulsing started to speed up. I was already hard yet again, still a little deliciously sore and almost ready to come for a third time.

_"Do you like me fucking you? Am I as good and hard as Rory?"_

_"Yes, dear, yes."_

"Then she rather surprised me." The Doctor had gone back to stroking his cock in front of me and I had no idea how he'd managed not to come yet. "She sort of shoved me against the wall. I let her pin me there and she used her leverage to fuck me harder."

_"Didn't expect that, did you? Am I hitting it for you, Doctor. Nice and deep?"_

_"Fuck, yes._" Then I asked her, "_May I touch my cock, Amy?_" because you see, good boys ask." He said giving me a wink.

_"Yes, Doctor. Thank you for asking."_

"I wrapped my hand around my penis and started stroking myself again, slow at first." He changed the speed on the toy and I think I made a sound that was less than human. I gave him an apologetic look which he acknowledged and I realized that even with the threat of electricity gone I had learned to be obedient. He'd taught me well.

"Amy was breathing heavily in my ear, gasping and moaning and I was making very similar noises myself. I was getting quite close."

_"Almost there?" _

_"Nearly, very, very nearly. _She started pounding into me and- Rory, did you just come?"

And I had, as he was talking I was imagining Amy fucking him as hard as she could in the shower and it was too much. Just before I shut my eyes I watched as my ejaculate streamed down over the snug fitted toy. My hips bucked upwards and I clawed at my thighs and the toy continued working tremor after shaking tremor out of me. Finally the Doctor slowed down the motions of the beads and I was able to catch my breath.

The Doctor waited for me to finish before calmly continuing his story.

"As I was saying, Amy started pounding into me. It was so delicious, Rory, the juxtaposition of that slim frame, her feminine body, her breasts, her soft voice combined with that hard, firm cock. You really, really must experience it someday. I came with her still thrusting inside of me, legs wide, hands splayed on the slick shower walls."

_"That's it, come for me, Doctor. Nice and long and hard. Come for me with my cock inside you."_

"She came not long after that and rested against me for a moment before pulling out. I let her gather her bearings and then I turned around and fucked her senseless. Are you alright, my love?"

"Fine, yes, fine." I answered quickly.

"I find myself wishing I _had _ restrained you. You'd look so pretty cuffed to the backboard." He mused. "Perhaps next time. So, would you like to be filled, Rory? You can answer, baby?"

"Yes, please." The hoarse weak hunger of my voice surprised even me. "Fuck me."

The Doctor chuckled.

"Oh, I didn't mean me. You haven't earned that yet." The Doctor stood and his erection was bloody magnificent so I kept my eyes more focused on it than his face as he crossed the room. He made his way over to a small desk to the side of the bed and pulled out something just beyond my sight line. A moment later I again watched him creep between my legs and lay flat on his stomach. I heard the flip top of a bottle and knew he'd retrieved some lube. He didn't bother to make eye contact with me until he had finished.

"Knees bent, dear, and open up wide for me."

I did as he asked and waited with baited breath. When he held the dildo up in front of me, my eyes widened.

"Not a dildo, love." He said answering my thoughts. "A butt plug. See the flared bottom?"

I nodded.

"Now, relax and breathe deeply for me, ok? You can moan if you like, this should feel rather nice."

He started to slowly penetrate me with the toy and moan was an understatement. It started off narrow but thickened the farther he inched it inside of me. It felt good. Not as good as his cock but still quite, quite good. When it was fully within he gave it a few taps on the base and the vibrations thrummed inside me.

"That's a good lad. Now, I'm really going to need you to hold that inside you. Clench down, do whatever it is you have to, but I don't under any circumstances want to see that slip out. Answer me with a Yes, Doctor or a No, Doctor."

I was teetering again on that edge of orgasm and the plug so slick and thick inside of me was delightfully unbearable.

"Yes, Doctor or No, Doctor." He said again calmly.

"Yes, Doctor. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes." I choked out.

"That'll do." He said curtly. "But, despite having had to prompt you you've actually been a rather good boy. So I give you an option, I can remove the vibrator and after awhile the plug. We can make love or fuck or whatever it is that you desire. _Or _ we can go a little further."

What was he offering? A break or truce, was this a competition or a lesson? Were we at war? Either way I was enjoying myself too much to want him to stop now.

"I don't want to stop."

The Doctor beamed at me.

"I must say I'm proud of you, Rory." He moved upwards on the bed. laying close to me, his cool skin pressed against my warmth. "You have held up admirably. Shall I tell you how long I've fancied you?"

I nodded, trying to keep my eyes closed and enjoy the vibrations and his voice in my ear.

"You weren't wearing any pants the first day I met you."

He was absolutely right. Amy hadn't noticed but then again I was only her, how did she put it, sort-of boyfried then. I'd put clothes in the wash the night before but then the phone rang, as a matter of fact it was Amy calling me. I got distracted and never came back to switch it on. Awoke the next morning, no clean pants, no clean socks for that matter. So...I went commando.

"Do you have any idea how distracting it is to try and save the world when you've got a goreous redhead with legs for miles to the right of you and you're absolutely dying to find out if the carpets match the drapes. And to the left you've got a handsome, humble goofball who has chosen today to just let everything hang out."

He kissed my neck in between his words and I turned my face in his direction. He dropped his hand down between my legs, past my cock and grasping the base of the plug began moving it in and out.

"Oh, Doctor, please, please. That feels so good. Please, fuck me. Fuck me, baby, fuck me, fuck me."

"I've wanted you for so long, Rory. You and Amy both, to be truthful. But I know you're familiar with my lust for her. But do you know how badly I wanted you? How I wanted to undress you, please you, service you? My handsome, sexy, masterful Rory."

I was beyond words, far beyond. He started moving both the toy and the vibrator faster and I put my hand on his shoulder to anchor myself.

"I love you Rory. You're perfect, you're beautiful, you're wonderful, you make me impossibly happy. Now come for me, baby. I know you can. Come along, second to last time."

I sucked in a deep breath and held it, I felt my face reddening and I climbed that hill yet again. Then the wave broke, and I crested, descending that gentle slope, orgasming under the ministrations of my husband.

I was whimpering by the end of it all, a few tears had streaked down my cheeks. This had been torture, beautiful, beautiful torture. As he gently removed the vibrator from my cock and the toy from my arse I turned in his arms and curled my body into his.

"Such a good, boy." He said quietly. "Good lad. Are you alright, dear?"

"I'm ok." I said, my voice strained and small. I felt exposed, open, very, very revealed. But it was ok, it was what I had wanted and I felt so safe with him. We lay together and he kissed me gently as I held him incredibly close. We didn't speak, neither one of us, we just let our bodies and our minds settle against one another.

"Doctor?" I asked after I don't know how long.

"Hmm?"

"I want to make love." I whispered before kissing him.

"Not too tired?"

"Not at all." That was a bit of a lie but I didn't care. "I need you."

"I need you as well."

"Face to face, though, alright. I need it to be face to face."

He smiled as he bridged his body over mine. So much of what happened next was a blur. He entered me, slowly and we moaned at the contact. I was surprised at his will to have held on for so long. We rocked together and I opened my legs for him and he thrust inside and cupping the back of his head I brought him down for a kiss. It was, as always, bliss.

"Once more for me, Rory? Together?"

"Please."

He started moving faster and only a little harder and I cried out against his lips.

"I'm ready now, darling. It's time. Rory Arthur Williams. Husband. My name is _."

It hit my ear with the same delicate beauty with which he pronounced it. It was lovely, soft and perfect. Without asking, I repeated it to him and I saw that burst of gold momentarily light up his gaze.

"I'm coming, Rory. Come with me."

My body was essentially wrung out, my orgasm was strong but the Doctors was stronger. He had been holding off forever and I felt him spurt thick, generous and full inside me. We kissed. We held each other. We disengaged. And finally he wound up in my arms, cuddled against my chest. He already looked better than he had earlier. His color had returned, his eyes looked brighter, his body felt stronger.

"Thank you so much for telling me, love. That meant absolutely everything." I whispered.

"Thank you for being someone I love so much I had to tell."

"I know it's a secret. I'll never use it without your permission."

"I know, my dear. I trust you."

I yawned and tugged him closer.

"I want to go back to our bedroom and sleep with Amy tonight. But I could do with a rest and maybe a shower first."

"Me too." The Doctor said softly. "We'll just have a little bit of a lie down and then go back to her. Ok?"

"Ok. And I'll tell you one thing, darling." I said pulling the covers over the both of us.

"What's that?"

"Who ever said married sex was boring must be doing it wrong."

**A/N: Every time I post a chapter for anything, I do so with trepidation and then instantly think it's not good enough and wish I could un-post it. This one is no different. So...Sexy? I hope so! What did you think?**


	11. Vulnerability: Amy

_**This chapter was tough, I'm not sure why. I had it drafted in chunks here and there for quite awhile, even before I wrote Rory's chapter but it took a lot of elbow grease for it to come together. I feel unburdened by school at the moment so maybe I just needed to have my head cleared. In any case, I really, really hope you like it!**_

**Vulnerability: Amy**

There are a thousand things you want to tell the Doctor. They fill your head in a rush, they swirl around and around and they all threaten to spill out of your mouth at once. I think it's mostly his eyes, soft and kind and when he sets them upon you and he just says those two words, "Tell me." you want to unburden all your hopes and fears and dreams. You want to drop them into his lap, not so he'll fix them but just because you know he'll treasure them and care for them and hold them just as dear as you do.

But other times you can't even fathom telling him. I think...it's mostly his eyes, deep and sad and so impossibly old. He carries burdens, heavy, heavy burdens you couldn't even imagine and the last thing you want to do is unpack you heart and lay even more at his feet.

And there are other times, much more rare than the first two where you're actually afraid to tell him. I think mostly, it's his eyes. Passionate and angry, all fire, and hard wisdom and blind rage not towards you but towards the universe. He blazes like a temporal fire, he's been to the alpha and the omega of the universe and you, you're just a tiny, infinitesimal speck of grain or a scintilla of sand. You're an errant piece of lint that he brushes from his coat. You fear you're nothing to him because how could you be? How can you lay your worries in front of god who has the length and breadth of space and time to contend with? And how, how could you have secrets from someone so all-knowing? How could your worries equal his and how could you be ungrateful enough to worry under his protection.

But I did have a secret and I was worried.

These were the thoughts clouding my mind the evening my husbands had gone off together. Rory and the Doctor came back much later in the evening after I'd already gone to bed but I wasn't even close to sleeping. They were close, the Doctor's arm around Rory's shoulder. They were whispering to each other, stopping every few moments to neck and kiss and touch. Rory looked positively gooey in the Doctor's embrace, a huge and silly grin on his face.

I pushed myself up to a sitting position in bed and flicked on the light.

"Everything ok?" I asked.

"Amy, sorry, we didn't mean to wake you, darling." The Doctor said as he and Rory parted to slip out of their clothes.

"You didn't really wake me, I don't sleep well when you both aren't here anyways. Did everything go well?" I asked. I had no idea what to expect or what had happened but I just knew the smile on Rory's face made me the teensiest bit jealous.

"Everything went wonderfully, Amy. Absolutely wonderful."

My boys slipped into bed on either side of me, Rory at my front and the Doctor at my back.

"You know his name now." I said incredulously giving my first husband a deep kiss."

"I do." Rory nodded.

"And tomorrow, so will you." The Doctor whispered into my ear. "How was your evening, my love?"

"Fine, finished what I needed to do in the nursery. Settled down in here to read for awhile and then decided to go to sleep."

"Are you feeling well, Amy?" Rory asked at the same time the Doctor asked. "Everything alright, love?"

"Husbands, I'm fine and I'm glad you both look so blissfully happy. But I'm tired so why don't we just call it a night, eh?"

They agreed and before I was even legitimately sleepy they were dozing softly by my sides. My boys. I'd grown far more protective over them these past few months. It must be the hormones. I still saw them as strong and capable, wise and wonderful. But other times, of bless, but they were both so young. So silly and goofy, stumbling and bumbling about the TARDIS, practically tripping over their own feet like puppies with too large paws. I wanted to care for them the way I wanted to care for the baby inside me. A few of the books I'd read said it was normal and it certainly seemed better than the alternative. Some women were absolutely disgusted by their husbands, perpetually angry with them. Worse yet some didn't feel very maternal at all. Again, I was lucky, the worst that had happened between us was occasionally I snapped at them and also occasionally they both smelled like potatoes. Really, I swear they did. Sometimes they'd want to kiss me or hold me or just stand next to me but they each smelled like big, giant Russets and I'd shove them away. Apparently being overly sensitive to smells, real or imagined was part of being pregnant too. In any case I loved them both, loved them so much it made my heart ache sometimes. And now as I watched them sleep all I could think was, I hope they know how much I love them.

The next day was by all accounts, normal. I wanted spaghetti for dinner and the Doctor took us back to the 12th century for the most authentic of authentic Italian food. Rory and he were a little more touchy-feely with one another than normal but when it came time for my first husband to make himself scarce, the Doctor turned all his attention to me.

"Hello, my love." He said wrapping his arms around me from behind and nuzzling my neck.

"Ready for bed?"

"Definitely. What are we going to do?"

"Whatever you like." He grinned.

"Gonna tie me up?" I teased.

"If you really wanted but...Pond..." He said gesturing to my belly. "Even I have my limits."

"It's not like there's a window the baby can see out of. You're not going to start treating me like a holy vessel this late in the game are you?"

The Doctor sighed and took my hand as we walked back to the bedroom.

"No, I said we can do anything you like. If you want me to-"

I laughed, letting him off the hook.

"I'm just kidding, numpty."

"Thank heavens, I really don't know that I can handle the idea of disciplining my pregnant wife."

We entered the bedroom and I sighed with relief. I was absolutely knackered. I'd quizzed them both on their length and weight when they been born and as expected they were both _giant_ babies while I was a reasonable and petite infant. Somedays I felt as if I was carrying a five year old on my front half and there was still a long stretch to go.

"Come on, lie down, I want to give you feet and ankles a rub." He said patting our blankets.

"That sounds like heaven." I said and happily took my place on the bed. The Doctor sat down with a smile.

So, what did you and Rory get up to?" I asked.

"He didn't tell you?" He said with an amused chuckle as he removed my shoes.

"Nope." I said with a lazy stretch.

"I thought for sure he did, given your teasing moments ago. Bondage."

I laughed.

"Oh, go on with you."

"I'm serious, love. He'd been wanting it for a long time."

"Did you tie him up?"

"Wasn't necessary. I teased him and toyed with him, got him to come four times and then I told him my name. He was happy and so was I."

Among his many talents the Doctor could give a massage that turned your body into jelly. As I'd teased him once, 'How many ways do you know to make a girl moan.' Of course he'd grinned and answered, 'Thousands, Amy, thousands. I'm up to about number 14 with you.'

"I wish I could have seen that." I pouted.

"Darling, we'll do it again, I assure you. And then you can watch to your hearts content. Now, what would you like?"

"This is nice."

"Yes, but I want to give you something special. A unique experience."

"You are. You're telling me your name which makes me unique in all the universe. That's pretty darn special."

He nodded.

"Alright. But just think about it. So, are you two alright?" He said sweetly placing a palm on my belly while continuing to massage my foot.

"We're fine. The baby is sleeping inside me. You already know whether it's a boy or a girl don't you. Probably got a huge jump start on the rest of us, having all sorts of telepathic conversations aren't you?"

"I could if I wanted to." he said honestly. "But that wouldn't be fair. I promised to be egalitarian about this and I shall be. I can feel it, I can hear, I suppose what you might call proto-thoughts. It's all very murky and new. Mostly when it's distressed or restless I sing to it in my mind."

I felt tears start to sting my eyes and I raised up a little off the bed to look at him.

"You do?" The thought of him singing to our child was so heartbreakingly sweet.

"Mmmhmm, always sends it right to sleep. Our baby doesn't seem to mind my awful singing voice."

"Doctor..."

"What's bothering you, Amy? I knew there was something."

"I'm afraid." So I was going to say it afterall.

"Afraid of what, dearheart?"

"I almost don't even want to talk about it."

"You can talk to me about anything. Anything, you know that. In fact, I think tonight is the perfect night for you to tell me everything."

Gently placing my foot on the bed the Doctor lay down next to me pulling me into his arms. I sighed and snuggled closer to him, resting my head on his chest so I didn't have to look him in the eye.

"Trenzalore." Letting that word even leave my mouth made me sick to my stomach.

I waited for some sort of reaction from him but I received none, he had started to stroke my hair and only continued to do so.

"You mustn't go." I insisted.

"I have to go, love."

"Why, because of some silly prediction? Some saying?"

"I think you know how things work, Amy. It's more complicated than that. How long have you been keeping all this inside?"

"For years. Years and years."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"Because I didn't want to subject you to it. Because I wanted to be your brave companion. And before you say it, this isn't like the morning sickness things. This is different. If you regenerate..."

I heard him sigh deeply. It wasn't something any of us wanted to discuss.

"Yes?" he asked gently.

"Will we all still belong to each other? Will you still love us? Because I've been having these...dreams "

"As I said earlier, Amy, you and Rory have changed my biology. If we were just enthusiastic lovers with little commitment, no bond and certainly no child, then sadly the answer would be after I regenerate our relationship might not continue in its current state. My friends are always my friends, my family, my family but the intense emotions don't always remain. There's fondness to be sure but... For instance the 10th me was, though I hesitated to admit it, very much in love with a young woman named Rose. But we never coupled, we never made promises to one another. And now...while I will always hold a place for her in my hearts I don't feel those same emotions for her. I can scarcely remember them. But the three of us are married, that's a very ancient bond and one that reverberates through all my incarnations, past and future. That's unbreakable, Amy. If I regenerate, the new me will love you just as much as this one does. I can't promise you very many things, but I can promise you that."

"Swear?"

"Swear."

"But...it would be as if you died."

"Pond..."

"I couldn't bear it if you died."

"Pregnancy hormones." He murmured affectionately but I still took umbrage.

"Don't just automatically dismiss me like that." I said whacking him lightly on the arm.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. Actually I'm glad you're getting all this out. I don't like you keeping secrets and worries inside. It's not good for you, the baby, our marriage..."

"You'd never not do it, right? You would never not regenerate? You told us that your friend chose not to."

"I would never, ever do that, Amy. Never." He said seriously.

"I saw it happen."

_No. No no no, don't tell him. Just hold onto it, Hold it inside. he doesn't have to know._

"What, love?"

"I saw you regenerate. A door... once opened..."

He paused and pulled back from me and I saw the horror in his eyes

"You saw my dream." He asked incredulously.

It came back to me in a rush, a horrible blur just as vivid and real as when it first happened. The dream imagery had invaded my own and I stood there bearing witness as it happened. In my nightie, in the snow I saw this man in a brown trench, wounded, mortally wounded struggling back to the TARDIS. Even without the TARDIS I knew it was the Doctor. Not my Doctor but the Doctor all the same.

Everything came out then, all that I'd been holding back. Everything came out then, all that I'd been holding back. Everything I had never wated to tell him. Everything I had wanted to bear alone.

"I saw you limping, struggling back to the TARDIS. I saw all that pain and hurt and I saw how you cried. I don't want to go. That's what you said. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. And then _that _ you got ripped from this world, just consumed by fire and then there was _this _ you."

I started crying then, horrible hitching tears that I usually reserved for being alone in the loo.

"Oh sweetheart, you were never ever meant to see that. I never really want any of you to see that. I am so, so sorry."

But I couldn't stop. So many things were coming back at me. So many memories.

"It was awful, Doctor. It looked so awful and painful and you were alone. You were all by yourself."

He hugged me tightly cradling my head with his palm while I sobbed against him. It took minutes for me to regain my composure.

"Just the thought of it..." I began biting my lip. "I don't think I could bear to lose this ridiculous face."

"Amelia." he said fondly as he kissed my forehead like in days gone by. "This silly old face isn't me, my hearts, my soul remain the same. My personality might change a little, maybe even a lot but I'll still be your Doctor. I'll always be your Doctor."

"Oh Raggedy Man." I said embracing him and suddenly I felt like a child, like that little girl he had charmed and amazed all those years ago.

"This is supposed to be a happy time, my love. I'm sorry this is making you sad."

I felt the sudden urge to kiss him and I did before throwing my arms around his neck for a hug.

"You've been in my life for 27 years, did you know that?"

"Has it been that long?" He asked and then nuzzled me. "Hasn't it been longer? I believe pregnancy has made you sentimental, Pond." he said but I heard the unshed tears in his own voice.

"Yeah, I'm a big blubbery mess. Emphasis on the "big"."

"You are radiant." he said simply. "Time Lord pregnancy suits you."

"Impending fatherhood suits you. You strut around here so happy and proud. It's adorable."

"Thank you." He wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close to him. I heard him inhaling deeply. He did that a lot lately. I wasn't sure what he was smelling but ever since we conceived he said he loved my scent even more.

"Doctor?"

"Hmm?"

"I want to make love."

"You sure? We don't have to. An intimate evening...me telling you my name doesn't require that we have sex." His eyes were soft with concern, as if he thought I was volunteering just to appease him.

"You and Rory had sex."

"We did. And it really helped. Rory and I, I believe, had some unresolved intimacy issues. It helped for us to have some one on one time together, I believe."

"What do you mean?"

"Rory often has a lot of competing thoughts in his head. A great deal of worries and self doubt. Things attached to you. Things attached to me. He wanted to show me a glimpse of that last night. He needed to be submissive. He thought it was just about kink, but it was deeper than that. It was about sex, but more than that it was about trust. He wanted to be vulnerable, to show me that he trusted me completely but in conjunction with that he wanted to know I wouldn't abuse that trust. It was a glorious night and honestly, I think we're closer than ever. We both needed it. What is it you think you need?"

"I need you..." But then I paused. Maybe there was something else, some other part of him I needed to explore. "Doctor, remember when the Atraxi scanned you? You said, There have been so many others and what you have to ask yourself is, what happened to them?"

"You recall that word for word?"

"Of course."

"But you can't remember to take the DVD's out of the player and put them back into their case when you're done?" He teased.

"Shut up. As I was saying, after that there were all these faces. Were they you? Were all those men you?"

He smiled sweetly at me.

"They were indeed. Would you like to see them. Meet them as it were?"

I nodded enthusiastically.

"Alright then. Close your eyes and concentrate."

I did as he asked and felt him gently place a hand on my cheek.

Slowly a face began to crystalize in my mind. An old man, with white hair, a stern looking face but kind eyes.

"Is that the first you?"

"The original." He said. "All my ID's still bear that face, even my library card."

"What was he like?"

"Well...when I was young I was a real corker. Wild, impetuous, impossible to pin down."

"So not much different then?"

"Well by the time my hair went gray and I set off with granddaughter I'd lost a good deal of my sense of humor. I was so serious and staid, not very much fun. Smoked a pipe, thought it made me look more important."

"You didn't." I chuckled.

"I absolutely did. It was a very different time for me. I was looking for adventure but in a way running from it too."

"I think I understand. You look...tired."

"I was. Exhausted by the end, in fact. I was terrified the first time I regenerated. I was worn thin and battered and confused. I must have frightened poor Ben and Polly half to death. I remember being compelled back to the TARDIS. It alway feels safer to have it happen here. I think in a way I've convinced myself it hurts less. I don't remember much, I do recall taking a few moments to bid goodbye to my body, my first body and then...I became this next man."

"Younger...but still an older gentleman."

"Yeah...I...I didn't think I could go this young and be convincing back then. Figured I needed an air of distinction. Polly and Ben understandably skonkered and after that it was Jamie and I, for awhile."

"And this second, Doctor, what was he like?"

"Funnier. Lighter. I didn't feel so damned heavy and tired. I panicked a bit more but overall I was better. Loved to play the recorder."

"Keep going."

"Yes, wife." He obliged. "The third me. He was something else, quite physical, I was a bit of an action hero this time around."

I giggled as he continued.

"I was much more technologically savvy. I liked akido and disguises."

"Akido? Do you still know how to do that?"

"Of course I do. A bit rusty, mind you, but it's still there. I was so excited about life then. I used to tinker around on vehicles and machines, I had my own car, a beautiful yellow roadster. I loved that car, it would rival Rory's actually. I was stuck on earth then, that was my exile, my punishment by the Timelords. I couldn't really travel anywhere. But my friends made it easier, my friends always make everything easier."

"Show me the next one." A new face appeared in my mind. A middle aged man with dark curly hair and an absurdly long scarf.

"I've seen that scarf before. In the wardrobe! I always meant to ask you about it."

The Doctor laughed heartily.

"Number four, Oh God, I did love being number four. He was a delight! Fun, funny, exuberant, had a real sweet tooth."

"You've always been a terrible dresser haven't you, my love?"

"Oi, people loved how I dressed. I was cool and unassuming. They never saw me coming."

"Who did you travel with?"

"One of my best mates ever. Sarah Jane Smith. Wonderful, brilliant, last time I saw her was when you and Rory were on your honeymoon. Lovely woman."

He paused and I felt waves of sadness pour from him and flood my mind.

"What happened?" I asked. I kept my eyes closed, not breaking out connection but I reached out to touch him.

"What always happens." He said bitterly. "She died. Cancer. If she'd only rang me, maybe I could have..."

He stopped himself short and even though I wanted him to continue, to get it out, I knew it would do no good to press. There would always, no matter how close we got be, be secrets my husband kept from me. I was learning to be ok with that.

"Let's skip to five." He said with sudden forced brightness. I decided to force it right along with him.

"Who's the handsome bloke? Now we're getting somewhere!"

"Oh you think so?" He said clearly pleased.

"Yeah! Tall, cute, blonde. You look good as a blonde."

"I'd look better as a ginger."

"Is that a piece of celery?"

"Yes it's-"

"And do you actually have question marks on your lapels?" I asked with a laugh. "Oh Doctor, you just never quite get it, do you? Poor sad Doctor."

"You love insulting me, don't you?" He asked pretending to be affronted and failing. He loved it when I teased him.

"Tell me about him."

"I was kind of vulnerable then. The regeneration and change from four to five wasn't an easy one. I was sort of full of nervous energy and excitement. I was a bit of charmer as well. But maybe most importantly I changed the way I dealt with my friends. Less ordering them around and more treating them as if they were part of my gang."

"Sounds like it was fun." I grinned.

"For a while. But I was just starting to realize what damage I was doing in the universe. How big my name was getting. I lost a very, very close friend of mine, Adric. It destroyed me for awhile. Then poor Peri... I don't know, I think I did an about face. I realized caring so much...too much had only hurt the people I was trying to save and so...well so on to Number six."

I knew he was leaving a great deal out, glossing over hundreds of years of history, condensing lifetime after lifetime.

"So, what about this guy?" I asked.

"This guy," He began with a sigh. "I'll be honest. This guy was a bit of a bastard. Manic, a little mean, enormous ego, caustic, unfriendly-"

"Are you sure you're not being a little hard on yourself?" I asked with a frown.

"No. I'm not. I had my good points but I...I wasn't someone I'd like to revisit. Or someone I'd want you to meet. The trial didn't exactly help things either."

"Trial?"

"That, Pond, is a very long story for another day. Seven. I got better for awhile with seven. Tried to force the smile, the charm, the artifice of bumbling good humor. But it went the way it always goes. I got dark, I got clever. I got secretive. I used Ace when it suited me. She called me "well devious" and she was right.

"I think you're giving me a rather skewed view, Doctor."

"I'm giving you the only honest view that I can, Amy. I retelling things as I remember them." He insisted. But I knew, I knew his propensity to only see the negative. It made me shiver a bit because I wondered how he would describe the Doctor that I knew so well. Would he hit all the bad points, all the faults and flaws. Would he mention the joy and the happiness all the good that he'd experienced. Would Rory, the baby and I be a footnote?

"Eight. I liked being eight. It was my attempt again to leave some things behind. Got a little romantic that time around, kissed one of my companions!"

"Oh, my!" I responded.

"Don't make fun! As I told you I don't just go around bedding the people I fly about in the TARDIS with."

"Well I count myself as a lucky exception. So what happened as Eight?"

"Good stuff and bad stuff. Made a few friends. Lost the TARDIS. Got trapped in prison for three years. Battled Koeschi again. Lost my memory. Lost my second heart. All in all it was a mixed bag."

The way he rattled off these things so nonchalantly, I expected it but I never quite got used to it. Keeping my eyes closed I reached out and stroked his cheek. I always wanted to let him know if he wanted to say more or needed to say more I was here to listen. I wanted to hear all 1200 years if he was willing to tell me.

"Ok, love. Tell me about Nine."

There was a pause then. All the images he'd been projecting into my mind went dim like at the end of a film. I half expected credits to roll. He was silent and still but it was worrying stillness. A stillness before an explosion. Blindly I reached for his hand and squeezed it. After a few agonizing moments he squeezed back.

"Nine...yes...Nine. He was...Nine was a broken man."

The image of a tall, handsome, stern man decked out in a leather jacket with closely shorn hair entered my mind. He didn't smile, he didn't seem welcoming, he seemed to want anyone around him and he radiated pain.

"Oh...Doctor...he's so..."

"This is me after the Time War." He said his voice soft and raw. "I was alive, out of everyone I knew and loved I was the only one left alive and I had never felt more dead. I didn't want anything or anyone around me anymore. I felt so guilty for still being here..."

"What happened? What changed?"

"Rose."

This was one of the first companions he showed to me clearly, a lovely young blonde woman, running along side of him, sometimes ahead of him. And slowly some of that hardness left his face and his eyes. Eventually I saw him smile.

"She helped you?"

"Oh God, did she help me. She brought me back to life. I was 900 and some odd years old and that woman, that child smacked me about, told me what for and got me moving again. She got me caring again even though I so didn't want to."

"Did you love her?"

"As Nine I loved her as a mate, as a dear, dear friend who I knew I could trust. She saved my life in about a dozen different ways. Without Rose, I'm not sure who I'd be. I wouldn't be the man I am now, I can tell you that much. She helped me to see life beyond the Time War. She helped me see that I still had a purpose. She helped me be glad to be alive."

"Sounds like I owe her a sincere debt of gratitude. Now, take me to Ten."

"Ok, but, Pond..." He began and then sighed. "A little decorum, please?"

I didn't know what he meant. I'd only seen the last him in my dream from the back and then later when he was almost fully engulfed in that regeneration energy. I had no idea what to expect.

"Ok, Doctor, whatever you say."

He sighed and then the image of the preceding Doctor appeared in my head.

"Oh my God!"

"Pond..."

"He's gorgeous!"

"Pond..."

"You really hit the regeneration jackpot with that one!"

"Pond!"

"Well I'm sorry Doctor but...well...damn."

"Yes, I know everybody loves Ten." He said the eye roll apparent in his tone.

"And look at you, you figured out how to dress. The hair, the pinstripes, the trench, the trainers. You're almost cool!"

"Oi! I'm cool now! Keep it up and I'm going to make you change the lightbulb on the TARDIS next time it goes out."

"Awww, Jealous Doctor! You know I love you more than anything." I teased.

"That's better." He said with a pout. "Though I did get some pretty favorable reviews with that face."

"I bet the TARDIS became one giant snogbox didn't it?"

"It did not!" He said indignantly but the Tenth version of him that I could see so clearly in my mind started to chuckle.

"You're lying to me aren't you?"

"I may have kissed a few ladies here and there." He grudgingly admitted.

"What about Rose?"

"Yeah...yes I kissed her...in a way. It's complicated."

"I love complicated. Did you guys...?"

"No, Amy I told you once already she and I didn't sleep together."

"I know, I was just trying to trip you up. You know in interrogations they pose the same question like 20 times in 20 different ways just to make sure someones story stays consistent."

I turned my attention again toward the handsome man in the blue suit and Converse.

"You look happy." I said. "Were you?"

"I was, sometimes. But I was also incredibly lonely." He sighed. "Oh Amy, I was so lonely. And it hurt, it hurt worse than almost anything. I had the best of friends. The best mates anyone could ever have, but all I ever saw was the ticking clock above their heads. The clock that assured me they would die and I would live on and on and on without them. I lost a lot as Ten. A lot of my pride, a lot of my sanity, a lot of my faith."

"What about Rose?"

"I lose her too. Long story. Bad day. Very, very bad day."

"Did she die?" I asked quietly.

"No...no to the best of my knowledge she's alive and well and living on a parallel world happily with the Meta-Crisis."

"What the Meta-Crisis?"

"Uh...how to explain in the simplest terms? You know how a starfish can lose an arm and grow another one?"

"Yeah."

"Well...I lost a hand once and that hand grew another me."

"I'm sorry, what? There's another you out there?"

"Yes, on a parallel world. He's living the life I wanted back then. I assume happily married to Rose Tyler. John Smith and Rose Tyler-Smith. Probably proud parents of strong boys and lovely, strong girls." He spoke sadly but not wistfully. He truly did separate this life from his others.

"I'm sorry, Doctor."

"It's alright. She's happy. She loved him so much and he, once he was separated from me, was finally able to love her as she deserved. After Rose there was Martha. Brilliant, beautiful Martha."

"She's lovely! You sure know how to pick 'em, Doctor."

"I know!' He chuckled. "She was an incredible and clever medical student. Wound up a Doctor then...well then I guess I broke her a bit, turned her into a weapon and a warrior. Just as I always do. But, somehow, once she left me she got a better. Got married to another mate of mine. They're doing well. I'd like to pop by and see her one of these days with my new face but...probably not a great idea."

"Why did she leave?"

"She left...she left because I was a right arse. I missed Rose, my hearts was still aching for her and I never let a moment pass where I didn't mention her to Martha. It was a shitty thing to do. Martha fancied me and even though I didn't realize it until she was gone, I fancied her too. I could have tried for something with her. Could have made a go of it but I was too shell shocked and gun shy after Rose. So Martha, brave Martha squared off her shoulders, looked at me and said, you're just never going to get it. You're never going to notice me, no matter what I do and I can't live my life waiting for you. So this is me, getting out. It was for the best."

"I'm sorry."

He nodded and continued.

"Next came Donna. Wonderful, brash, ginger Donna. She was a pistol you would have loved her."

"Did you fancy her too?"

"No, not like that. We were mates. the best of mates. Plus she didn't like me in that way. Never missed a moment to tell me either."

"What happened to her?"

"I lost her too. She...it's such a long story, Amy. But I had to wipe her mind. I think I told you and Rory once that I had done that."

"Yeah, you said you'd considered doing it to us."

"Umm, yes. I had to make her forget about me for her own safety. Things sort of spiraled downhill from there. I traveled alone, got mean...lost my way. And then when I found it again it was time for my song to end."

"And that's what I saw...when you died."

"Not died." He said but he didn't sound so convincing.

"I'm sorry you were alone, Doctor." I said and finally opened my eyes. When I did I saw he was looking right at me, his cheeks a little tear streaked. "No matter what happens. If I have to lose this face, I promise you, you will not be alone when it happens. You will never be alone so long as me and Rory and the baby can help it. And we will _always _ help it."

"Amelia." He said softly. "I am forever grateful I crashed into your backyard that night. My impossible Pond."

We kissed and he pulled me close to him, just holding me, cradling my head.

"Shall I tell you?" He whispered quietly after a moment.

"Not yet," I said rolling onto my back and tugging him close. "Not just yet."

He put a hand reflexively on my belly, he was always so careful, and angling his body his started to kiss me deeply.

"Do you still want me, Doctor?" I whispered against his lips.

"I always want you, Amy." He answered immediately.

I'm sure."

It had been weird at first, working out positions. All of a sudden penetration, when they went a bit too deep, hurt. The look of horror on their faces when I winced! After that they wouldn't touch me for days until they'd gotten over their fear of injuring me. After awhile I couldn't stand having either of them on top of me. It bloody kills me on my back. Being on top of them was good, spooning was nice but my favorite was side by side. After I'd complained about not being able to see their faces the Doctor engineered a new position.

"Well I didn't make it up, Pond, I simply remembered it. You lay on your side, I lay on mine and we face one another. I just have to be a touch lower on the bed than you...like so. That way I can enter you at an angle."

I didn't understand by his description how this was going to work but after a moment or so he'd proven that he knew exactly what he was talking about. It was slower, gentler and so incredibly satisfying I now considered it our go to position.

One of the upsides of being pregnant was that I was way more sensitive. Something about increased blood flow to the area.

I felt his arms encircle me and run his fingers up and down my back.

"May I say how much I love this body?"

"You like my new pair, too, don't you?" I said bringing his palm up to my breast.

"I've always been a fan of your breasts but I do really like their new..."

"Bounce? Weight? Voluptuousness?"

"Any of those words will do. You are so sexy."

"So, you're a boob man. I thought you were an ass man."

"Darling, I'm an everything man. I am a fan of the female form especially your form. And you know what, I think we should get a preliminary orgasm out of the way, shall we? You always do better with a warm up."

He put his lips to my nipples and let his hand slip between my legs and with that wonderful skill of his he set me ablaze..

"Atta girl." He said as I stated to come not long after he began. "I have always loved how sensitive you are. How much fun it is to make you come. How much more fun it is to make you wait."

"You're not going to make me wait tonight are you, Doctor?"

He paused and thought for a moment.

"No, not tonight." We started snogging again, kissing deeply, sweetly, hungrily.

"Amy...Amy...Amy...you smell so incredible...so human. You may be the most human scented female I've ever known. Wife, I crave you."

"I just figured it out." I said sucking on his earlobe.

"Figured what out?"

"Your ultimate kink. It's _human_."

He chuckled against my neck and I started to help him undress.

"I-I'd never really considered it before but...perhaps you're right." He looked delighted to have had something about himself revealed that even he didn't know. "Well done." He said with a smile before growing serious. "Are you ok, Amy? I mean, ok with Rory not being here?"

"Am I alright being alone with my husband? Um, yeah, perfectly ok. Stop acting as though you both aren't equals in my heart, you are, end of story. Come here, you."

We resumed kissing and I let my fingers get lost in his hair as he pulled me closer. I dropped my hand to stroke his cock and he gasped against my lips.

"I want you inside me, Doctor. Please."

He nodded, kissed me sweetly and we locked eyes. He positioned himself and then thrust into me slowly and we sighed as we settled against each other and I put my hand on his arse to hold him there.

"Mmph." That little sound of pleasure escaped him lips and at the same time one of his thoughts was broadcast to me loud and clear and I started to laugh.

"What is it, numpty?" He asked with a small smile.

"I just heard you think, Those ten weeks are going to be brutal."

He was referring to the ten week hiatus from sex we'd have to take after the baby was born. Right now, at this moment, with him hard and thick inside me I agreed. But I assumed after labor and feedings and late nights and no sleep and dirty nappies I'd just as soon punch them both in the face as let them put their penises anywhere near me.

"Was I that obvious?" He asked as he started to move inside me.

"Yeah..." I said as my breath caught in my throat. "A bit."

We lapsed into an easy, lovely silence punctuated only by gasps and moans and I craned my head backwards as he kissed my neck.

This may have been the first time in a long time, perhaps ever, that we were making love and my mind was completely untroubled. And believe me, I was looking for something, but he answered anything and everything I'd asked. I knew that even if I lost him I'd never really lose him. He might look different or act different but all those men I saw in my mind, they were him. Whatever happened after eleven would be all those blokes and my Doctor combined into something new. Could that really be all that bad? For once my heart, my mind, and my soul were all at ease.

Neither of us seemed too focused on lasting all that long tonight and I let him push me towards orgasm. As we got closer he softly started to speak and I braced myself for the moment to come.

"So long as it is in my power, I will never, ever, leave you. Ever. Not you. Not Rory. Not our child or...our should we have them, our children. I swear." He brought his lips to my ears lowering his voice to less than a whisper. "Amelia Jessica Pond. Wife. My name is _."

It was gentle and melodious, ancient and impossible to translate. He'd never seemed quite so beautiful as at that moment.

"Oh my love. My beautiful, beautiful, love." I said cradling his face.

"Would you say it? Say it, please. Just this once. Doesn't have to be perfect. Just try."

I did my best. I repeated what he'd said, softly into his ear. His name. His true name. The one his mother had given him when he'd been born. The Name he'd been called for years upon years until, sadly, he had to leave it behind.

He shivered as I said it, his eyes flaring just before closing. "Thank you, Amy." He pulled me close, thrusting into me as we came together.

We lay there, eye locked and holding onto each other. The blaze was gone from his eyes but he still looked different, healthier more vibrant, more alive and infinitely happy.

"Thank you, Doctor." I whispered as the gravity of what he'd just done hit me.

I held him tightly in my arms as we descended from that peak. When he started to shudder against me not from pleasure but something else I gave him an even tighter hug.

"Are you ok?"

He nodded but didn't say anything for a moment.

"Doctor, look at me."

He raised his eyes to meet mine and they were shining with unshed tears.

"I'm ok, I do feel better, Amy. I swear. I just...I haven't done that in ages, literally _ages_. It just takes a bit out of me." And then with wonder he added. "You know my name."

"I do, _. I know your name."

He blinked rapidly and a few of the tears started to flow. As he withdrew from me we kissed deeply before the Doctor pulled me into his arms.

"Amy-" he began.

"I know. It's a secret. It's not something to be used all the time, maybe I won't even use it again but in any case it's something just between the three of us. I will always respect that."

He sighed happily and I knew I had covered all the basis.

"I _would _ like for you to say it again though, when we're all alone together."

"Yes, _. Anything you say, _."

He gasped. Still clearly unaccustomed to hearing it spoken aloud.

"Doctor..."

"Hmm?"

"I think maybe I'm ready for all of us to go home, back to London."

"Are you sure?" he asked with surprise but I could clearly hear how much it pleased him. And was that ever shocking, to hear the Doctor pleased at the idea of leaving the TARDIS.

"I'm sure." I wasn't even sure why. I didn't know what had changed. Except...except maybe with my fears quieted going home with my boys and really preparing for the imminent arrival of the baby didn't seem so daunting anymore. Now, suddenly, I wasn't all that afraid. "Let's go home." I said settling my head against his chest.

"Ok. Let me start to close up shop. A bit of maintenance here and there and then...we'll go home."

"Thank you, Doctor, for everything."

"No...thank you, Pond. Thank you."

We lay there in happy, easy silence and after ten or so minutes Rory arrived.

"Got your message, love." He said smiling at the Doctor and gesturing to his head. He crawled into bed with us and we were reunited again. "Everything good?"

"Everyting is great." I said planting a kiss on his lips before turning to the Doctor. "Look how much better he looks." I said still addressing Rory.

"So it worked then? No more vomiting or fatigue? Because I'll take you to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism myself if I have to, love."

"No, I'm well. In fact, I'm better than I've ever felt in years." The Doctor said softly. "But can we go to bed now...I'm just knackered."

"Of course." Rory raised up on an elbow and bringing across my body gave the Doctor a kiss before bestowing the same upon me.

"Going home then are we?" He whispeed to me softly.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"Lucky guess. Did you and he have a nice time, Amy?"

"Yeah, really nice, I feel...lighter." I said with a grin.

"I know what you mean." he said with a nod. We both glanced over at the Doctor who was already sleeping fairly soundly.

I think it's mostly emotional at the point." Rory continued as he smiled at our husband. "God knows what holding onto his name like that did to him. I bet by tomorrow he'll be his exuberant, mad, impossible self." Then he chuckled. "It's probably going to be _really_ annoying."

I laughed softly and curled my body into his.

"You're probably right. Goodnight, Rory." I said my sentence punctuated with a yawn.

"Goodnight Amy." The two of us then shared a look and a smile. "Goodnight, _" he said softly.

"Goodnight, _" I echoed.

We waited a moment, the Doctor sighed almost imperceptibly in his sleep before readjusting his pillow and then softly...

"...goodnight to you both, _. _."

He used _our_ Gallifreyan names, just as I'd wanted him to. Rory and I beamed at one another and then settled down to join him in dreams.

The Doctor is everything you think he is, beauty, fire, rage, compassion, justice and love, so much love. Most of the things you tell him he already knows. And some of the things you tell him he was about to figure out. And once ever millennia or so, a few of the things you tell him will surprise him. But all of them, all of them he'll hear and he'll listen to and he'll look at you with those beautiful sad, bright, happy, dark, safe and frightening eyes and he'll tell you he understands. And he'll take you into his arms and soothe you and if you're very lucky he'll allow you to soothe him back and as he holds you, you'll wonder why on earth you were ever afraid to tell him anything to begin with.


	12. Vulnerability: The Doctor

**Sorry I was away for awhile, been so busy with so many other writing things for school. Back again with a new chapter. It's a little short but I wanted to examine why the Doctor has the cot aboard the TARDIS and also how it served as a symbol for just how vulnerable he truly can be when he allows himself to open up. I really wanted to describe how much it represents his past as well as his hopes for the future. Oh, Arkytior is the name the Doctor's granddaughter Susan was born with. After this, I think they'll be heading home to London. Ok, hope you enjoy it! Allons-y!**

* * *

** Vulnerability: The Doctor**

The wood is unyielding at first but eventually it gives and the tools in my hand begin again at work I thought I'd left long behind me long ago. My fingers trace the patterns of names I know as well as my own. My sons. My daughters. Their children. Their children's children.

River once asked me, Just how many children had slept in the cot. I didn't answer her of course but the truth is, upwards of 20. Twenty infants sleeping soundly, adding their dreams and soft little voices to the wood that surrounded them. Little hands reaching up, grasping the mobile, reaching for their first stars.

I didn't design the cot. It's a House of Lungbarrow heirloom, it was ancient when I was born. I can't remember now why I brought it aboard the TARDIS, it was just something familiar I needed to have with me. A great deal of things often go missing on my ship, only to turn up a few decades later but this...I have always known where this was.

And yet...out of everyone who had ever come along with me, I only ever showed it to my Ponds. In a way it was too much, too familiar, too close to my heart and my soul and my heritage for anyone else to have ever seen it. Before this, before we three wed, before Amy became pregnant, it hurt. It hurt to think about it, to even touch it. It doesn't just hold memories for me, it _is _ memory. But now, with it out of the shadows, I take joy in it again and it doesn't ache nearly as badly.

I loved my children but I never traveled with them. Or rather they never wanted to travel with me. They were so much like their mother, strong, clever but far more at ease with what I saw as the constrictions of our way of life on Gallifrey than I could ever be. I wasn't like that. I needed to get away.

I didn't just steal the TARDIS. I stole away my dear little Arkytior. From the time she was born, _before_ she was born I knew she was special. Once my son and his wife were visiting, the latter of which was heavily pregnant and I was being my usual charming, non-sociable self. I was too invested in what I was reading to break away from it at that moment and enjoy their company. I was a right arse...what I wouldn't give to have those moments back. I had withdrawn, in my selfishness and general frustration with where my life wasn't going I had shut down a bit. That was just me, being a prat, as usual.

In any case, I was engrossed in my reading when something touched my mind, something soft, questioning but insistent. I looked up and noticed my wife, son and daughter laughing. They had felt it as well.

"She does that." My daughter-in-law said with a chuckle. "Ever since her first attempt she's been nigh insatiable. Always so curious."

The three of them brushed it away, the way you soothe a fussy infant with a dismissive "Hush dear." But I was interested, I felt something...something more. And when she felt my interest she tried again. I put down my book and focused my thoughts and that was the first conversation I ever had with my granddaughter.

When she was born, keen and brilliant and squalling I peered over the shoulder of my wife and my assembled children to get a look at her. She looked right at me, our eyes met and clear as day I heard her thoughts.

_"Ah...there you are."_

I was infatuated with her immediately. I offered to babysit her anytime anywhere right on the spot. My son was shocked, I hadn't been nearly as accommodating with my other grandchildren but in his surprise he agreed. Arkytior and I became inseparable and I am a bit ashamed to say I doted on her more than I did those who had come before her. She was brilliant, really truly brilliant and it didn't take too many years for me to figure out that she had an eye for exploration like I did.

Finally, when I had decided once and for all to leave Gallifrey I went to my son with an unusual request.

"Would you be willing to let me borrow Arkytior?"

He sighed. I was always making him sigh.

"Papa, you don't just borrow children. For what? Where do you want to take her?"

"Nowhere in particular. A planet or two, maybe a moon. Perhaps a distant star system."

"And how do you think you're going to achieve this?"

He was right of course. It was completely far fetched. Despite my status and perhaps because of my history I had never been given a TARDIS. I had petitioned, I had argued I had even crossed my fingers and promised to be a good little citizen if only they'd let me just have one, one of my own. But it was to no avail. Thankfully my son was far too Gallifreyan to even consider what I was thinking.

"You're right. You're right. I'm just talking out of my head."

I went away, chastising myself for trying to rope the innocent into my plans. Instead I went home and plotted what felt like my escape.

But of course she knew. I've never known if she was listening when I had dropped by for my visit or if the connection we had when she was still in utero was just that strong. But as I slipped out into the darkness of night a small shadow was waiting for me. I nearly jumped out of my skin before I realized who it was.

"Grandfather. I'm coming too!"

I didn't say a word, scoundrel that I am I didn't even try and talk her out of it. I just grabbed her hand and off we went.

The newer, glossier sleeker ones caught my eye but only for a moment. I knew the truth about them. They were empty, soulless, their matrix, their heart had been edited away, left out of construction. Unnecessary bulk, they said. My little Arkytior went right past them as well. We crept silent until we came to the dusty graveyard of those magnificent living machines. They all hummed with energy but most were reserved, closed off, preparing for their decommission with dignity.

But the last thing I wanted was a dignified TARDIS.

I tend to...underplay what happened next.

I flippantly tell people I stole a time machine. But it wasn't just that. My people had a very, very, very strict non-interventionist policy. There is very little, so they would say, that one could see in a TARDIS that couldn't be viewed from the Citadel for a lot less trouble and a great deal less possibility of danger. But that didn't sound like any fun. A TARDIS isn't just a time machine, it's one of the most powerful creations in the universe, infinite in both size and possibility. Only the most trusted of people were ever even in the running for receiving one. It's not like I stole a sweet from a shop and skonkered off with it. It's more like I nicked...oh...a nuclear sub and then took it for a joy ride across time, space and several centuries. It wasn't the charming little act of petty theft I describe it as. This was a capital offense and I was taking my granddaughter along for the ride.

When I found the one, the right one, the perfect one, I knew and I've since come to understand that she knew as well. I didn't even have to try the door, it swung open to me. Arkytior and I stepped inside and the lights slowly but surely came on.

We stood there in silent, reverent awe. It wasn't even just anybody who got to set foot inside one much less pilot it.

"Is this the one, Grandfather?"

I nodded.

"This is the one."

And like that we were off. She taught me how to fly her and I was almost immediately in love. From Arkytior there wasn't a moment of fear, not one. She was always there, bravely, excitedly, exuberantly at my side. She may have called for me at times, may have screamed once or twice but she always kept her wits about her. She was always by my side.

She was my family. I don't speak about her much because even now, the pain of it all is still too raw. I don't regret locking her out of the TARDIS. I don't regret giving her a chance to lead her own life. I couldn't have her hanging about me thinking I needed her as a nursemaid. That wasn't true and it wasn't right and even had it been right it wouldn't have been fair. So I put her out. I saw her again a few hundred years later, as Five. I had missed her so badly but for a brief while it was like old times. But by then we both had our own lives to return to. But that doesn't mean I didn't miss her. I still miss her, everyday.

I know she was on Gallifrey when everything happened. I felt her, you see. I always felt her, I felt all of them. We're all connected, all Timelords, all of us, it goes beyond telepathy and reaches down into our very DNA, our souls, irrespective of those who endlessly debate as to whether we have souls or not. And just as I felt when she was there, I felt when she wasn't. I felt it as she winked out like a candle brought low by a snuffer.

When I was with her I was a different man, a better man, in fact in certain ways I don't think I've been right since. She and I saw everything for the first time together. Every companion I made, every lover I took, everyone I ever brought aboard the TARDIS, no matter how I loved a part of me was always trying to recreate the magic I had with her. My Arkytior. My Susan. When I realized that I couldn't have that again, that nothing would ever reach that level of special I closed off that section of my heart. I enjoyed what I had when I had it but that was when I started keeping secrets, that was when I decided I would let people see only what I wanted them to.

When she died, when they all died I realized I would never have "blood family" again. I would never know the heartbeat or the embrace or the cry of another Timelord ever, ever again. I made friends, close friends, dear friends. I took lovers, people whose call I would answer above all others. But I never, ever again considered taking someone in as my family. I didn't dare and with each passing year there was too much to lose.

I have no graves at which to visit my children. I carry my cemetery in my hearts. I have cradled infants against my chest and wept over their perfection. And I have cradled the bodies of my grown children against my own and wept at the the loss of them. At their loss. At my own loss. I can remember it all, every moment as I gaze at my cot.

I recall the first time I felt this wood against my skin. I was two, perhaps three days old and I remember placing my hand against smoothed surface. I liked the feel of it. In fact it may have been the first time I experienced delight. It was carved from a Gallifreyan oak felled by my grandfather's, grandfather's grandfather. Taken from the deep forest where the trees hummed. I could hear that humming even then and even then I remember it soothing me.

The wood still hums now and as I work at carving the names of my husband and wife along the side I feel it's energy coming off in waves. The same energy that will rock and soothe my newest child to sleep. Our newest child. Not the child any of us expected. Not the children lost to us.

How strange that my spouses and I share that. It's a unique sort of pain to see on a person but when it's happened to you you always recognize it. A sort of ceaseless melancholy. Arms that every once in awhile feel empty. The recollection of milestones that never were in glances as they flit across empty rooms. And worst of all that sudden head jerk at a familiar cry of Mamma! Papa!

That's what my children called me. Papa. They'd laugh and squeal it as we played Hide and Seek on the lands of my family's estate. They'd shout it out when they were frustrated with some sort of punishment I'd doled out. They'd cry it when they were sick or hurt and I'd come running and scoop them up and try and make whatever it was better.

I'm not trying to paint myself as the perfect father, I wasn't, not by any stretch of the imagination. I was selfish and petulant sometimes behaving no better than a spoiled child myself. While I played at politics I also played at being married and I played at being a parent. I loved them but my wife raised them, all-...well...every last one.

And still they loved me, as children often do, seeing through your faults, forgiving you for the ways you cocked things up. I tried to be there as often as I could...for the important things. The milestones, the once in a lifetimes. I stood and gave consent at each of my children's weddings and I treasure those memories for the rare and everyday magic that they were.

I was so...so foolish when it came to Jenny. So cruel to her at first only to fall helplessly for her. Pride, stupidity and snobbery kept me from her. I put up a wall under the pretense that she wasn't Timelord enough. Part of me believed it too but not nearly as much of me as I let on. In truth everything about her screamed Timelord, I could feel it, hear it, sense it, smell it. The second she appeared it filled me with an absolute rush of familiar and long absent emotions. She was my daughter, just as sure as I was standing there, she was mine and though I fought against it I immediately wanted her to come with us. When she died that part of me that had been willing and eager to accept her as my daughter and to call her that died as well. That small door that hadn't even been cracked since Susan left opened again only to slam shut in my face.

If it were up to me, I would pack the TARDIS with people, if it were up to me, every room would be filled, I'd teach them all to fly her and we'd do it properly, six of us manning it at one time. I'd turn this wonderful machine into a clown car with hordes of us all pouring out at once. I would greedily keep them all with me forever and ever.

I say that I don't draw them close, even though of course I do, because they die. Because their ridiculous little mayfly lives are so fragile and because it scars me every time I lose one of them. But the other reason is because they're friends, dear, dear friends, the dearest friends. But mates, no matter how close you are... leave. They leave you and it's right that they do, they should and you're a right arse if you try and keep them there. But still, it's lonely and it's hard when they pack up one day and decide to go. Perhaps I was never willing to offer them enough so that they would stay. The cot isn't just a cot, it's one of the last remaining vestiges of the House of Lungbarrow. It's a family tree of sorts and ancestry a history . To show it to someone I care about means I'm willing to let them see one of the mot important parts of me and who I am. To add their names means I consider them my kin.

Amy Pond and Rory Williams. Ripped apart by regeneration energy or not my ship crash landed me into Amelia's backyard on purpose just as she has brought me everywhere else. I understand that now, it was time. It was just time. Time for me to open myself up again.

I'd told them there was a nursery on board but I'd never told them why. Maybe I never will. It was, of course, for Melody. When I set off to find her I thought...I was so certain I could do it. Pluck her out of time, find the absolute perfect moment, spirit her away in the TARDIS and for once, just once give someone a truly happy ending. While I searched for her I started doing something I hadn't done in centuries...nesting. In the in-between hours I filled the nursery with books and toys and an enormous rocking chair. I had intended on spending many hours there with her, singing, laughing, playing rocking her to sleep. I was looking forward to it, I was looking forward to watching Amy and Rory raise their baby in the TARDIS, their home, our home. But it wasn't meant to be and so I withdrew again. I shuttered the room and let it drift to the back into the recesses of my mind.

I was a stupid fool. Because the TARDIS is always right, for a time machine she doesn't much care about timing, the cot wasn't for River. All that planning and preparation the slow subtle changing of my mindset...that was for this baby.

Amy's name has gone easily into the wood as has Rory's alongside it and both of their alongside mine. I save a place for our child. I secretly leave extra room incase we have another. Yes, I know, I'm greedy. Were we at home they would have immediately been accepted into my family. They would have been given their own estate, one for the three of us to share. Their names would have been added to our family scrolls where they were kept in the Citadel and we three would have become one. It would have broken about a dozen rules, some of my family would have been up in arms, certain cousins might have threatened to exile me and I wouldn't have cared. I never have and I certainly wouldn't have started. But all that was impossible now, but this, this was the next best thing.

I think all of us, humans and Timelords and everything in between alike are under the impression that one day life won't be so scary. One day all the chips will fall into place and we'll have experienced enough, learned enough, triumphed enough and perhaps lost enough that we will always make the right decision. I think we all think one day 'I won't be scared'. Well I've lived for over 1200 years and I'm still waiting for that day. I'm scared now. I am flinging open doors for my family, for my husband and wife that I had thought were long ago nailed shut. I am vulnerable and it's terrifying. It's also wonderful and exciting as I feel the same thrill and wonder I felt when I first left with my granddaughter. I am traveling with family again.

This cot is so much more than a place for my offspring to slumber, it's everything I ever hoped I'd be, it's nearly every dream I had, it's small and precious and sturdy and so near to my hearts it feels almost as though it were part of them. It's my past and finally I'm willing for it to be my future. That's why I kept it hidden and that's why I cannot hide it any longer.

I am unyielding at first. But eventually I pick up the disparate strands of my life and I begin to tug them together. A sort of life I thought I had left behind me, long ago. With a little coaxing the hands of Time pick up their tools and begin to carve me into what I am yet to be come. Like the wood, eventually, I give.


End file.
